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Showing posts from 2020

Twenty-Mudder-Freaking-Twenty

Saw a Twitter poll that asked respondents to evaluate 2020. 85% said it was the worst year ever. 10% had something positive to say. 5% said that it was the greatest year ever.  (That must be the politicians and the billionaires that stole piles of money). For me, 2020 started in the best possible way. I went on a golf trip with some great friends and standing in the fairway in 80-degree temps, I remember thinking, “What a great way to start the year.” Three weeks later, the entire country was aflame. It’s been so weird. So tragic. We lost my mother-in-law and then my sister-in-law. Horrible losses that have hung like a cloud over all of this. Work was uneven. I wrote a lot on the weekends and at night because I spent a lot of time just sitting here! I golfed better this year than I have since I was 18 years old. I shared nearly every Sunday morning with 3 buddies and I treated them to shots down the middle of the fairway, and it went further than ever. Bruce released a great record...

498 Hours

That’s how much time is left until Inaguration minute. I know because I follow along on this guy’s Twitter account. Since the election he has counted down the hours until Joey Bides is sworn in. I’ve always thought: “Don’t wish time away,” when I’ve heard someone wishing time away. In the end, we all just want one more minute. I was checking out at a grocery store on Christmas Eve. The girl at the register was distant. “How’s your day going?” I asked. She laughed. “I got 15 minutes to go...feels like I won’t make it.” “I hope you make it,” I said. She gave me a weird look. Don’t even give a minute back. And of course I’ve watched the clock and rooted for the second hand to move faster... ...think defensive driver school... ...or Palm Sunday Mass when you were a kid. And every kid ever has uttered these words: “Dad, are we almost there?” I don’t know. I’m in my usual reflective, end of year place. Vowing to stay calm. (We’ll discuss resolutions tomorrow) But less than 500 hours away unt...

Just Can’t Do It

Had four straight days off, and I also promised that I would spend the day, Monday, with Kathy because I didn’t take any freaking vacation days this year. Earlier in the day, we had discussed my eventual retirement. We were doing this because I noticed that Trump was golfing for the 4th straight day. “Not doing anything but golf sounds good,” I said. “You’d never be able to do that,” Kathy responded. Now, I’m not sure I can handle four straight, but maybe if I had as little to do as the president I could. “I could golf, get a massage and lay in bed until the next round,” I said. Cut to Monday. The day I was supposed to just relax and enjoy the time off. I was climbing the walls. We passed a job site and I slowed down to look. In the afternoon we went to the doctors for our annual physicals. I haven’t been there since 2016. “In general, besides your leg problems how do you feel?” The doctor asked. “All right,” I said. “All right?” “I haven’t felt SUPER since about 1980,” I said. “But he...

Covid Relief

So, the chaos of the past week, and the demands for change in the proposed bill was going to be negotiated by the art of the deal guy. Some people, in desperate need of, oh, I don’t know, eating or paying the electric bill, were getting excited about surviving. All weekend the bill was held in purgatory as the powers to be hit the ski trails, and the golf courses. Unemployment lapsed. People braced for eviction. I saw a post on Twitter that said ‘for $1.64 a day you too can sponsor an American.’ Life and death stuff. But the deal maker finished up his round and then made a grand gesture of signing the bill that he had called a disgrace...three days before. Doing it a day too late to help people who’s unemployment lapsed is incomprehensible. Pandemic wise? Fauci announced that the ‘worst is yet to come’. Probably true because as much as people were nervous to get together for Christmas... ...they did in a whole lot of cases. People will also get together to tell 2020 to kiss their ass a...

Lizzie Borden

Wasn’t a whole lot of movement yesterday. Not sure how much snow we got. I stopped counting. I did dig my car out. The boys weren’t around so it was all on me and I was tossing the snow. My older neighbor popped over and I stopped to chat. “You aren’t even breathing hard,” he said. “You aren’t a spring chicken anymore.” I laughed. Went in and out heat on my back... ...and we watched a lot of television that concluded with the Lizzie Borden cold case from 1892. I never knew she was acquitted! Like Orenthal, the crime kind of stuck to her. As the show began my beautiful wife actually sang the Lizzie Borden song.  (You haven’t lived until you’ve heard a member of the Foutz family sing). Yet, what fascinated me about the show was the glimpse I got of how people lived back in 1892. I love that! I need to check out more museums. They showed the newspaper clippings, and the interior of the Borden home.  Reporters turned phrases differently. People lived with the comforts allowed by t...

Eight to Eighteen

Miller and me have another thing in common: We hate the snow. The thing about it is that the cat doesn’t blame anyone but us when something goes wrong, and while he absolutely loves to go outside he’s not gonna’ do it with snow on the ground. The lake effect snow warning ⚠️ started sounding on Tuesday and Christmas Eve through Christmas Day was the target. We got it. About 6-8 inches here at Camp Clifford and neither me or Miller were celebrating. “I’m dreaming of a white Christmas?” Whoever wrote it must’ve been high. “A bright, sunny day for 18,” one of our Florida Twitter buddies announced.  (No, not he who shall never be mentioned). “You lucky bastard!” I answered. Golf on Christmas morning would be a blast. Yet, here’s the thing: I don’t actually mind a snowstorm if I’m home and so is everyone else. But you know how the kids are. “I’m going to my girlfriend’s house.” “Bah! Now? Why don’t you stay home?” “I’ll be all right.” I don’t ever want to drive in blizzard like condition...

Merry Christmas 🎄🎁

 A simple message: Merry Christmas to all! For one day... ...one day... ...sit back and relax... ...enjoy the people you’re around... ...reach out to those you love that you can’t see in this crazy year. Eat something good. Laugh a little. Let love give what it gives. That’s it. And say a little prayer that all that is troubling you can somehow be abated. There are so many things that we just can’t control.  There’s so much garbage that can bury you. Hang in there. Enjoy the day. This is a day about love, right? Feel it.

The Ghost of Christmas Past

We aren’t really going to recognize Christmas this year. No large get-together on the horizon.  We’re thinking there will be four here on Christmas Eve and maybe five (if everything breaks right) on Christmas Day. Made me think of celebrations in days of yore. As a kid it was all about Grandma and Grandpa Fuzzy’s house. We’d pack in the car and make the short drive.  We were fired up and in a word it was about the pizza. Grandma made it all from scratch - could’ve been straight from Italy - I was partial to the anchovy and onion version. Wasn’t just the pizza though the little house on Spruce would be packed before too long.  Cousins, aunts and uncles. Drinks would flow. A lot of hugs and kisses and loud talking and laughter.  We’d all go to Grandpa straight away. He’d give a kiss and pass along a message. If our hair was too long (and everyone’s hair was considered long) he’d ask “where’d you go after you got your haircut?” We’d head across the road to say ‘hi’ to A...

My Dad

I don’t celebrate death days - I celebrate birth days. Thought of Dad all day yesterday...Sinatra hit the phone as I was driving in Massachusetts. I considered all the early mornings I’ve put in to get up and head out to work, and how each of my boys has needed my help through the years. Dad doubled my efforts. I thought about all the pasta and steaks we ate together and every time I make a meal I think of how he showed me to do it. I was on the road and Sam sent me a photo of the steak he was about to devour. I laughed. Dad would’ve been proud.  Oh to see him eat one more Porterhouse. I swear, every time I cut up an onion for pasta think of him saying, “Cut it small.” When the Bills game starts these days it isn’t official until I say: “I got a bad feeling about this one.” My Dad said that before every game during the super bowl years. He was right on 4 super Sundays. But he also wanted us to watch the games with him and he made football shaped meatballs for the parties. My siblin...

I’m Next!

Saw a photo of Marco Rubio getting a shot to battle the virus that he called a hoax. Joni Ernst? She said that the deaths were inflated by doctors looking to get paid. She certainly jumped into the chair quick enough. Lyndsey Graham? He’s been defiant since day one. He was damn nasty in saying that it’s not quite as deadly as everyone thinks it is. But his pasty white arms were exposed as he gladly accepted the shot. And they’re all getting it. AOC, Pelosi, even saw Joey Bides in the chair. And I get the succession thing to make sure that the country continues to hum along like the well-oiled machine that it’s always been (that’s a joke). But man, shouldn’t the doctors and nurses go first? Followed by the elderly and those who actually save lives (like 56-year-old safety guys)? You called it a hoax? Back of the line. You uttered something about it being the flu? You go last. You doubt the number of people died (therefore disrespecting the dead)? You’re not getting yours anytime soon. H...

Six Hundred Dollars

I can’t imagine how $600 is going to save people who lost their jobs months ago and are struggling to pay the rent or feed people. You’re hearing about a lot of other countries who took much better care of their suffering citizens, but I suppose that wondering about it here is just an exercise in futility. Certainly doesn’t seem that the health and welfare of the downtrodden is high on the list of priorities. Many of us have worked all the way through. I have, but there’s a lot of angst there as well. I’ve had to get on planes, worried about getting the virus and bringing it home. Christmas parties are canceled. Bonuses are light or non-existent for a lot of people. Seems that most people are making do with less. Yet, head into the grocery store. See what $100 gets you. I gasped at the price of beef the other day. What kills me is reading about where huge chunks of that first relief bill went. Millions to Joel Osteen’s church? Loans to companies who’s owners are millionaires? Yet, the ...

AFC East Champs

The Buffalo Bills won the AFC East for the first time since 1995, and even though we all knew it was possible once Tom Brady left, it’s still really weird to me. I was at the last playoff game the Bills won. Who could’ve possibly predicted that it would take a quarter of a century for them to get back to good? (Now I’m assuming that they will end their playoff win drought...but who knows?) The game yesterday afternoon was never in doubt.  The Bills have a high-flying offense, a decent defense, good coaching, and a special something. And it’s still weird! I can’t get into it! What cost me during the game yesterday was the constant love of every player. The color announcer was throwing out the words: “Courageous”, “Brave”, “Brilliant”, “Courageous” (again), and on and on and on. There was a play where the wide receiver fell to the ground and caught the ball. “Check the brilliance with that move. He laid it all on the line and showed immense dedication and desire to pull that in. He s...

Christmas Prep

Why shouldn’t the lead up to Christmas in 2020 be weird? Fits the year. We have the tree up and decorated. Presents have been purchased, I think. Most have come by way of packages left on the stoop. There are precious few other plans. Looks like a repeat of Thanksgiving. So, I asked about the menu. “Same as Thanksgiving,” I was told. And I’m excited about that because I have all the stuff required for the stuffing. Hoping to not make it and eat the entire pan before we actually need it next week. But not a whole lot of excitement. Heard that an American dies every 36 seconds these days. Covid is ripping through my small home town and taking out parents of people I know. No end in sight. Russia appears to have infiltrated pentagon files and the worst part? They appeared to have been in the files since March and no one figured it out until this week. Once it was discovered, no one had a bad word to say about it. As for relief. Now the Senate GOP is back to being concerned about the defic...

Under Water

Had a vivid dream the other night.  I was driving along Route 5 near the water when a white-out storm whipped up...I couldn’t see anything and even though I put on my hazard lights I was worried about being struck from behind... ...and I was. I worried about being pushed towards the lake and then there was water rushing into the car. I was startled awake. Actually sat straight up and Miller came by and screamed up at me. That damn cat is like a siren. I was glad to be alive. Checked the time on my phone: 02:14. Still had about 4 hours left to sleep. Yet, I thought about the old adage that you can’t die in your dreams. I find that to be true, but vivid dreams fascinate me. I have a lot of them. I’m a very vivid dreamer and the crazy, nonsensical ones stick with me. Four hours later I got out of bed and went outside. It was snowing pretty hard. Was bitter cold. I had a long drive ahead of me. The client called: “If you can’t make it I’d understand,” he said. “It’s snowing pretty good...

The Bills Will Win the Super Bowl

I’m calling it. Write it down: December 17th, 2020. In February the Buffalo Bills will be dancing in the confetti. Now, as some of you may realize, I have not been the biggest Bills backer around these parts. I was all in from 1970 through about 1998.  I jumped off the bandwagon after spending a summer working on the construction project at the stadium. The Bills and the players were just so arrogant. I grew to dislike them and Orenthal on the wall still bugs me. But that’s neither here nor there. There’s something about this group. They are hungry. They’re having fun. They’re talented, and they’re well managed. Think 1996 Yankees. The Yankees hadn’t won since 1978, but man, they were so good in ‘96 that about halfway through the year I thought that they were just dumb enough to win it all. And they did. This won’t be easy, and if the Bills run into Derrick Henry early in the playoffs he can send them packing. It’s also apparent that Green Bay and Kansas City are really good. You h...

Peaceful Still Sucks

Visited a job that included a 50’ walk up a scaffold stair. I ran into the job supervisor and he was walking behind me as I made the climb. We were chatting a bit on the way up. “Hold up a sec,” he said. “I’m getting old.” I stopped as he caught his breath. “How the hell old are you?” He asked. “Fifty-six,” I said. “Feel all right today. Some days I need to stop.” “Now I feel bad,” he said. “I’m 54 and 56 is my magic age.” “Doesn’t feel magical,” I said.  “If I make it to 56 I will pass the age when my Dad died.” “Ah man,” I said. “That ain’t right. Besides, now you’re making me nervous.” “He died in his sleep,” he said. “Came home from work, sat in his chair a little while after dinner and went to bed cause he was feeling a little beat. When Mom went to wake him the next morning he was gone. Peacefully dying still sucks.” I felt badly for the guy. I’d never met him before and he needed to talk. “Tell me about your Dad,” I said. He did. He’d worked all his life for a utility as a s...

A Decent Day???

I don’t even know how to react. The news has been so lousy for so long that I don’t know what to think about: 1). A vaccine rollout that brings hope that this virus may actually be one day controlled. 2). Biden wins the election. For the 65th time since the first week in November. The electoral college (which still needs to go) certified it all. The GOP still doesn’t honor any of it. Which is absolutely ridiculous, but hey, we’re staying positive, right? 3). Bill Barr quit. I must admit that until 2 weeks ago I didn’t see this one coming, but adios to a man of zero integrity.  It makes me worry for what is going to happen in the next 36 days... ...but for one day, the news was good. Years and years ago I worked for a man who was nightmare. He ruled by fear and he lived for the havoc that he could create. I left his employ and for the first few weeks afterwards... ...I kept waiting for the hammer to drop at my new job. A month into my new job it dawned on me that I didn’t have to li...

Prime Time Bills

Last week the Bills won their first Monday Night Game in more than 20 years. I made it to halftime. Last night they played the Sunday Night Game exactly 1.6 miles from my home. Again, I cut it off at halftime. The Bills have about a 90% chance of winning their first division title since 1995. I was crazy into it back then and would’ve certainly watched every second of the games back then. I used to get Bruce-bumps during the playing of the song leading up to the first snap of the game. (We don’t get goosebumps here...they’re Bruce bumps). Anywhoha... ...I posed a hypothetical to all members of the family. “Bills are in the Super Bowl and they’re trailing by 2 with 2 seconds on the clock. They make it they win the super bowl. They miss it and you have the winning numbers on a $10,000 square. What do you root for?” Sam and Jake immediately said: “Make the kick.” Kathy’s answer was also immediate: “I’m taking the ten g’s. Try again next year.” So, I made it a little more interesting. “Sam...

Big Red Ball

 When we were children we’d all pack into the car and make the trip from North Collins to the East side of Buffalo to visit my grandparents on my Mom’s side. The car ride in and of itself was a real trip. Eight of us packed into the station wagon, kicking and screaming all the way. Mom and Dad up front, smoking cigarettes and talking. Those hour long trips stay stuck in my mind and I can even recall where everyone sat.  Very often, my cousins from Rochester were also making the trip in and we’d get there around the same time and we’d meet in the backyard where Grandpa had drinks for us. There was a big red kickball and a long white fence that would cover the gap between the neighbors yard and grandpa’s home. So the ball wouldn’t make it to the street. We’d have epic kickball games that usually ended in a fight... ...but it didn’t matter much. We went inside for huge dinners. The table was massive. 16 people all spread around. The dishes flying from one side to another. I can’t...

Get the Hell Out

They had a Christmas party at the White House. There was an announcement that the current president wouldn’t be joining the party. The Supreme Court beat down the nonsensical lawsuit filed by Texas that tried to challenge the election in states that Trump lost. There have been 53 lawsuits settled. 52 were tossed. One was held up on a minor technical challenge. All the states have certified the results. They recounted votes more than once in Georgia and Wisconsin. Biden picked up more votes in the recount. There is a 7 million vote difference. Ass-kicked. Get out. Now, there WILL be more crying.  I’m surprised that it hasn’t already started. It should be a wild weekend of “It’s so unfair!” I believe the last move would be to resign so Pence (who clap ran off a plane in what was one of the worst things I’ve ever seen a politician do) can pardon him. He would like to pardon himself but knows that might not hold up... ...but it won’t help much. New York State is going to let the indict...

Absolutely Ridiculous

So, now the Texas attorney general and a number of attorney generals from a group of red states are suing the swing states that voted for Biden. And Ted Cruz will be arguing the case? For four more years of Trump being in a job that he wants no part of? Cruz listened to Trump call him a fake Christian, his wife a dog, and his father the guy who shot Kennedy. Thing is, Cruz never met something stupid that he didn’t like. As Al Franken said: “I like Ted Cruz more than anyone else in congress, and I hate Ted Cruz.” Trump doesn’t want to be the president. Since the election he has golfed a dozen times. He says nothing about all the people dying. He’s had zero input on the stimulus. All he talks about is: Drum roll please: HIMSELF! And here’s the hard truth... ...he got his fat ass whipped. Lost by more than 7 million votes. All 50 states have certified. He will not win. How do I know? Cause if he does... ...democracy is over. America doesn’t want that and I know because they overwhelming v...

Making Lemonade

Like I’ve said before, I’m an optimistic guy... ...but perhaps I don’t always give off such vibes. A buddy of mine said that he was talking to a mutual friend and the mutual friend said, “Cliff seems miserable.” My buddy summed it up perfectly by saying, “He ain’t miserable. He just doesn’t like stupid.” Which kinda’ sums it up. Yet, I was driving in yesterday morning and was listening to the news. They were recapping the number of Covid deaths and the lack of hospital beds. It was also snowing. I was tired and cold. I was also heading to a project that could’ve been named, ‘Stupid.’ And I thought about something I’ve heard for years: “You decide what kind of mood you’re going to be in for the day.” Yeah. Okay. I was going to do my best to be UPBEAT! Out on my mask, my high-vis jacket, my safety glasses, and my hard hat and headed out. “We’ve made it a all-mask all-the-time project,” the superintendent said. “We’re up to six positive cases.” “That’s great.” “Yeah. It was time.” I point...

Must See TV

Remember the old Thursday night lineup? I was the thinking about it yesterday because I saw a photo of Cliff Clavin on Twitter. Cheers was a can’t miss show back then, and you couldn’t miss a show in the 90’s because no one was really using a DVR and nothing was available on demand. There were a whole bunch of shows that were great then. I liked Wings, Cheers, Frasier and the Cosby Show. But Cheers is what we’ll settle on today. Think Norm, Cliff, Frazier, Carla, Coach (then Woody, Diane (then Rebecca). Jay Thomas was on the show as Eddie LeBeck the horrible hockey goalie. Mayday Malone was one of the great sitcom characters of all-time. He was a womanizer, and I’m not even sure that a character like that could even play these days. Women’s groups would be up in arms every week. Norm and Cliff sat at the bar each day... ...drinking like madmen. Their characters would be studied now and we’d hear how they’re a bad influence on the youth. As for Sam and Diane, their relationship was enou...

Christmas 2020

Like many other families we are thinking about how a 2020 Christmas plays out. And there’s a true push for people in the family who want to get together. Covid-19 be damned! I’m just not in that camp. I think about my Mom and my father-in-law. I don’t want this to be their last Christmas. It’s that simple, and with the vaccines being bandied about, well, there’s time to celebrate all sorts of things after we’re finally done with this. I do see the other side. It’s been a long, lonely year for a lot of people. Yet there are also 300,000 deaths by Christmas time. That’s a whole lot of empty chairs. The sadness will extend a little longer. The thing is, it didn’t have to be this way. No way we should be where we are now. Had we paid attention to the plan back in May, and not turned it into a political battle it would’ve been much more controlled. But here we are, and so far, there have been losses on the fringes of our community. A mistake in thought here can cost a family member. I love ...

Always & Forever

Every night is movie night nowadays! We were struggling to find a movie on Friday night. It was my pick and I went with “Wander” a Tommy Lee Jones movie that looked all right in the trailer. It wasn’t. It was one of those movies that started in the middle and then flash backed and then moved forward in time and then back to the middle. Way too confusing for people who are watching and working their phones at the same time. “Who the hell is that guy?” Kathy asked as the MAIN character ambled across the screen without about six minutes left. I wasn’t going to try and explain. Cut to Saturday night... ...her turn to pick. We watched the trailer for something called, “Always and Forever.” Wasn’t a bad plot - a man stalks and one-by-one kills 4 women who taunted him by calling him Piggy Pete back at summer camp. The first “Oh My God” moment came after a woman caught her husband cheating. She forgave him one scene later after he showed her two flash cards that said, “I’m sorry. Please forgiv...

Happy Birthday 🎁🎊 Corinne 🎂 🥳

The whole weekend should’ve been a holiday. People should be getting Monday off. Because today is my sister Corinne’s birthday! We all watch the show, “This Is Us”. I told Corinne that she’s our Randall. She’s the responsible, thoughtful one who is always thinking a couple of steps ahead on how things can be better for my Mom. She’s generous with her time, money and affections... ...and we’re all very thankful for her efforts. Her birthday should be a holiday! And I know that Chuck will be sure to give Corinne a great day here in the time of the freaking virus. Speaking of which, Corinne has been the driving force (along with my nephew Rocco) in setting up the zoom calls that allow a whole bunch of us to stare at one another (and make fun of each other) over the phone. And not seeing Corinne for her birthday this year, and knowing that we all missed the pepper party, and with Christmas in jeopardy... ...I just know that we’re going to have a huge party eventually... ...and that we can ...

So Much Ignorance

My job as a safety man is fairly thankless on a daily basis.  For instance, if I see a guy not using a ladder correctly I’m liable to say, “Dude, you can’t stand on the top step.” Know who the guy gets mad at? Yeah. Me. I can explain to him that men have fallen to their deaths doing just what he’s doing. Doesn’t matter. Or, I can explain, that there is a deadly, contagious virus that is ravaging the country, and that they should follow the guidelines laid out. And they are free to argue with me about it. I don’t normally get angry in any situation unless the blow-back strikes me as too ignorant to ignore. Usually, the guy abusing the ladder will immediately change his behavior. Covid-19 is a completely different story. “It’s bullshit,” a twenty-something kid said on Wednesday as I made my rounds.  “You truly believe that?” I asked. “What about the 2-thousand people who died yesterday?” “They’re old,” he said. “Read up on it. My chance of dying of it is almost zero. I get the f...

A Pet Update

Man, I miss Melky. Yesterday I was going to get the paper with Paris in her spot in the backseat (she refuses to move into Melky’s spot in the front) and I drove past my neighbor who walks her dog Ozzy every morning. Ozzy is a huge dog who was once on the wrong end of a Melky body block. Anyway, she flagged me down. “I’m afraid to ask where Melky is,” she said. I shook my head. “She was 15.” “Ohhh, I’m so sorry.” “Well, Paris is still looking for her ride and we have a cat now too.” “How fun!” And there’s an update.  Paris and Miller have both moved into my room. Paris sleeps beside me in the bed - Melky’s spot - and Miller sleeps in my office chair... ...sometimes! Miller actually roams the house, from room to room, and if anyone is sleeping... ...he goes off! I heard Jake at 1:15 a.m., scream: “Get this damn cat out of here!” Miller also knows what time everyone is supposed to be awake. At 5:49 a.m., Miller struts into the room and screams: “Let’s f***ing go!!!” I have successful...

I Beg Your Pardon

I think the forefathers kinda’ blew it with the pardon power thingy. Maybe they just never imagined that the hugest orange man in the history of the world would also be the biggest criminal we’ve ever seen. They’re investigating the White House for a bribe-for-pardon scheme that may or may not involve a crazy lawyer who married his cousin, or someone like Steve Bannon. Course it could be a hundred other guys too. He already pardoned Flynn who plead guilty to crimes. Reports are that he may be trying to pardon Ghouliani and some of his kids. A blanket pardon for crimes yet uncovered. There have been other far-fetched reports that say he may even pardon Orenthal for the robbery and maybe even Epstein’s girlfriend. Now, to be fair, Trump isn’t the only president who ever pardoned a criminal friend, but he’s certainly going to abuse it... ...as he abused every other damn rule. The biggest abuse of all? He wants to try and pardon himself. Isn’t that amazing? The final act of the biggest con...

RATS! 🐀

Read a story about a Bronx man who was waiting at a bus stop when the sidewalk he was standing on collapsed. The 33-year-old man fell 12’ to the vault floor and was immediately covered by rats. Hundreds of rats that crawled all over him. He was afraid to open his mouth to scream out because he didn’t want the agitated rats to climb into his mouth. Good Lord! He also fractured his spine in the fall and was paralyzed. He’s regaining some feeling now but may never be fully right again. Ummmm... ...Good Lord! Can you imagine freaking the freak out because of the rats and not being able to move or even scream??? It took them 30 minutes to get him out of the hole, and now he’s filing a law suit against the owner of the building where it happened, as well as the city for not inspecting the sidewalk. They can’t find the guy who owned the broken down building. May be a can’t get blood from a stone type of lawsuit, but this is one guy who should start a go-fund me. He needs to be paid! Rats craw...

Monolith

Anyone see the huge monolith that was discovered in the Utah desert? In the middle of nowhere - just this huge hunk of metal.  Unexplainable. What’s worse? It suddenly disappeared. That’s weird as well. Know what’s even more weird? It showed up again... ...it Mongolia! It’s 2020. There have been so many weird, crazy stories that they can’t even be tracked anymore. This one might be the weirdest of all. To place a monolith of that size is a monumental task... ...think big cranes and a lot of manpower. How can this be? Of course, aliens are the only possible explanation. There’s 30 days left. Aliens from another planet installing huge monoliths in crazy locations... ...just another day at the office... ...here in 2020.

Back At It

“Western New York has the highest-rate of Covid in the state,” Kathy said. “Supposed to rain a lot tomorrow too. Ready to go back to work?” “Yes,” I said, immediately. The fact of the matter being that I’m really ready to go! I slept past 7:30 one morning! I haven’t done that in about 25 years.  I cooked a lot during this little break. All the Thanksgiving stuff, a pot of sauce, tacos. I hung with Paris (the dog) and Miller (the cat) and we continued to mourn our buddy, Melky. Paris was certainly down in the dumps. It’s strange, but she was really moping. So we gave her a few rides, she went for a walk, and had a few bones. It’s the only way through. We caught a few movies. The Ron Howard ‘Hillbilly Effegy’ and Mel Gibson as Santa in ‘Fatman.’ “He’s not a great guy,” Jake said when he saw Mel on the screen. “If we only watched movies, or listened to music from great guys all we’d listen to or see would have Bruce in it.” Jake laughed. The Bills won. They’re 8 up and 3 down and in f...

Barking Lions

The idea for the next book wasn’t mine. In fact, I have so much stuff in the vault right now that it crossed my mind to take a really long break from writing. Yet, I ran into possibly my oldest friend in September. Another buddy was there and the three of us began speaking about the softball team that was a huge part of our adolescence. “It’s too bad that we don’t know someone who could write that story,” my buddy said. I laughed. “Think about it, though. There was so much love, faith, togetherness, loss, and tragedy.” I made zero promises. I have a whole bunch of work going on. Yet, before that week was even out, I decided to see how it suited me. I wrote the first chapter.  Then set it aside until last week. When I wrote the second chapter.  “Hmmm.” I am now on Chapter 10. Writing it as though I’m reading it. As fast as I can type it. A couple of things are interesting and different about it.  I didn’t change any names. Went with the first name of every guy that was on ...

Stray Thoughts

 1). I nailed Thanksgiving dinner. For the first 45 years of my life we ate our Thanksgiving meal at Mom and Dad’s. Over the last 10 or so we have been at my brother’s home. This year, it was on me. I’ve made plenty of meals over the years, but was ready. Jim talked me through brine for the turkey and the stuffing that I craved. And I nailed it. “That’s a lot of work,” Kathy said. “Was fun.” “You’re weird.” 2). Trump is truly looking pathetic now. His team of expert lawyers has yet to make an argument - but through it all he has not wavered. He keeps saying that “soon” there will be mountains of evidence. It’s so pathetic. Then, he took a break from golf to talk to the troops - in the middle of the night for the troops - and they sat him behind a tiny desk that I first thought was a fake photo. Twitter did it’s thing and I’m sure that he was furious about it. Funny thing is, I don’t care. Just go. He wants credit for the sun coming up in the morning, wants zero blame. The entire ac...

On the Spectrum

We watched 2 seasons of the show A Typical about an autistic character who is coming of age - I highly recommend it! “I think you’re on the spectrum,” Kathy said, as we watched the main character, Sam, look through the notebooks he used to document every part of his day. “I do that, for sure,” I said.  “And the keeping of the schedule, to the minute?” “Organization is key!”  We watched a couple of more episodes and some of the frustrations felt by the autistic character were frustrations that I express on a daily, or weekly basis. “Do you see it?” Kathy asked. “The obsessions, the anger when timing is a little off.” “Yeah, yeah.” And, truth be told, I’m pretty sure that we all have a little touch of a lot of the mental instabilities. The autistic grow frustrated when things aren’t a certain way that they’ve planned out. (Me too). Precision and organization? Guilty. And the show is good in a number of respects. The most effective part of it is that it allows people who don’t no...

Thanksgiving 2020

Was having a rough go in the early part of the week. I was surrounded by thoughts of death at work (investigating an accident).  I was reminded of loss because when I woke up, my dog wasn’t there and when I got home, I missed how much she loved me and showed it in her greeting. And thinking about my Mom’s birthday and how both her birthday and her Thanksgiving are lost. I stopped by.  Stayed far away from her, but spoke to her for quite awhile. Mom has always been so positive. She was positive yesterday too. “It sucks, but it’ll end soon.” My heart sank when I said, “Wish I could give you a birthday kiss” and Mom said, “No, no kisses. I’m not getting this after sitting here all this time.” Then Jim reached out because my love of Thanksgiving stuffing is legendary. He sent me the recipe and a step-by-step direction (reminding me to wash my filthy hands).  I followed it perfectly and mixed it all expertly and I tried a bowl. “It’s great,” I told Jim, “but this ain’t good - ...

Happy Birthday Mom

I started to get down about it early on during the work day on Tuesday. Actually sent my older sister a message.  “What can we do for Mom?” The virus is running rampant. We are all out and about with Covid in the air. I don’t want to get my mother sick, but to be alone for her birthday and then Thanksgiving? That’s sad. I went about my work day and then, just as I was ordering lunch, Mick Jagger’s voice filled the air. Call coming in: “Mom.” I stepped out of line and the guy asked me what I wanted to order. “Gotta’ take this.” She needed me to grab her a couple of things.  “Sure.” I mentioned how lousy it is that we won’t all be together for any celebrating this week. “That’s all right,” she said. “We can do it later. We have to stay healthy.” “Sorry about Melky,” she said. “That’s too bad.” There’s no doubt that my love of dogs came from Mom. She was the Whitney Houston of singing to every dog that we ever had. She also was the queen of giving her dogs about 10 or 12 names. T...

Death Count

CNN has a death count for the number of people who have died from COVID-19. Now they’re running a count of how many people who have died TODAY! I had the television on in the mid-day and the count was at 377. Couple of hours later it was around 660. I changed the channel. Thought about the impact of even a single lost life.  Ironically, I had a rough day as I had to interview employees who were onsite when one of their coworkers suffered a fatal accident. Not a good day. There was so much heartache and pain on display and every man there spoke about how they were crushed and may never be able to get over it. I also learned of a few more people that I’ve known... ...who died of Covid-19 away from their loved ones. And then I watched a family in Utah (where hospitals are filled to 91% capacity) yell that the whole damn thing is a “lot of shit” when they were ejected from a restaurant for not wearing a mask. “Every life is precious!” They scream on other issues... ...with this one it ...

One Plus One Equals Three

Most of life exists in the area where things make sense. One plus one equals two. Yet, the excitement of life exists in the more abstract moments where one plus one equals three. Springsteen spoke of it in his Broadway Show, saying that it’s the magical moments where when things don’t seem to make sense... ...beauty shines through. Melky’s remarkable life came to an end yesterday and I spent the hours before trying to rationalize it. She was hurting. She had a wonderful life. She knew how much we all loved her. But one plus one doesn’t equal two in those situations. I couldn’t handle it for a few minutes and I kept thinking about how she’d cry when she put eyes on me when I got back from work, or how she cajoled and chided me into taking her for a ride or giving her more bones. One plus one equaled three and there was love between a dog and the members of the family. No one else was around. Despite knowing that she would no longer feel pain, I was shaken with grief knowing that she wou...

Happy Birthday, Brother!

My brother John is 57 years old today. Old bastard. I was flashed an image today of us on the swings, trying to fly high enough to flip the swing set. That was our goal. Some 53 years ago. There was the time we got a brand new television set. The Lakers were playing the Bucks - Wilt versus Kareem. We were both cheering for Wilt. That was 48 years ago. What a ride it’s been. We shared a couple of texts about Ali-Frazier - I remember watching those fights together in the late 70’s. We were both rooting for Frazier. That was 43 years ago. The Yankees, the Bruce shows, the beers, the weddings, the baseball, basketball games. “What’re you doing tomorrow?” I asked. “It’s 2020. Not much.” I know he’s having pasta and that it’ll be great. Wish that we could all get together. I wish him a great day, filled with some entertainment. We swung high in the air all those years ago. Didn’t flip the swing set (Thank God) But we tried. We love you, brother. Happy Birthday 🎂 

Melky

Today is the final day of a remarkable life. Melky Cabrera, Melkman, Melk-a-roo, Melkinator, Nater, Nate... ...has left Camp Clifford... ...and man, I’m really, really gonna’ miss her. But man, what a life! We rescued Melky from the SPCA - Tonawanda Branch and I can remember my kid’s faces when I said ‘okay’ to their request, but my first thought was: “A pit bull?” We’d heard so much about the breed, but Melky lived a life of peace. She patrolled the neighborhood from her perch in my bed... ...barking at anyone who moved on the street below. I started thinking about the rides. There was at least one a day for 14 years and 8 months. For a few years there we went for a morning ride and one after dinner. And the bones! My God! She ate a truckload of bones. Thousands of dollars worth. Yet, the last two weeks have been rough. Her body just flat-out broke down, and I couldn’t watch her suffer anymore. “I don’t really remember life without her being here,” Sam said. Matt came walking into the...

So Embarrassing

I’m not sure that I’ve ever been more embarrassed for someone in my whole life. Check out Rudy Gulliani’s last 30 days. 1). He was duped by Sasha Baron Cohen for a movie. He laid down on a bed and attempted to “tuck his shirt in” when he thought he was scoring with a young girl. He used the shirt tuck as his defense and the world laughed at him. 2). Then he tried to book The Four Seasons in Philly to let the world know about all of the “cheating” going on during the election. Unbeknownst to this epic genius he had booked the Four Seasons Landscaping business and then in an amazing display of his stupidity he actually went through with the speech! So, you had a crazed man shouting conspiracy theories that were laughable in front of a filthy garage door covered with campaign posters. Next door to the landscaping business? A sex shop! 3). Good old Rudy was not done yet. After weeks of television appearances where he flashed his crazed eyes and screamed nonsensically, there was an announce...

Abundance of Caution

Back to bitching about the use of phrases in the media that drive me crazy. “We’re doing this out of an abundance of caution” is right at the top of my list these days. I also hate “on the planet” when someone is describing a person who is at the top of their field. “Right now, DeAndre Hopkins is catching the ball better than anyone on the planet.”  How do they know? I had a dog - Shadow - who was the greatest catcher of any ball. “There’s no there there,” really aggravates me...every freaking time! “It’s a nothing burger,” God Almighty that one makes my skin crawl! “Running it up a flagpole?”  And the thing about these phrases it’s that everyone uses them all over and over and over again. I don’t give Trump credit for much but one thing he does do well is come up with slogans. Most of them are lies but he says them enough times that sooner or later... ...everyone is repeating it. “The cure can’t be worse than the problem.” He said that so many times about Covid that sooner or...

Bah!

I got the phone call from one of my clients. I appreciated the information, of course, to let me know that one of the men who I’d crossed paths with... ...had tested positive. I wondered about the rules. I’d been quite a ways away from that guy, but I had talked extensively with his work partner... ...who had shared a vehicle with patient #1. “Should I quarantine or go for a test?” I inquired. “Maybe see if the second guy tests positive,” I was told. So, what I did was worry, and I fell down the stairs and my knee was painful... ...so I stayed clear of everyone and waited for his test to come back. “Positive,” he said. Now there is no discussion. A test.  Quarantine until the results come in.  Pray that I don’t become part of the ever-growing stat line. And therein lies the difficulty of all of this. I’m certain that there are people out there who are finding out that they’ve come into contact with someone who has tested positive and has blown it off. I’m even more certain tha...

Three Really Bad Minutes

So, we’re watching the Bills game on Sunday. Just me and Kathy and two dogs and a cat. The Bills scored with 34 seconds left to take the lead, and Paris got into position in front of me.  Paris is the least demanding of all the animals - or kids in the house - she holds on as long as she can before needing to go out. “Hang on!” I said. Arizona had the ball and was approaching the 50. I only needed another minute because there was time for just one more play. Melky and Miller, sensing that they’d all be going out soon, also got into position. Arizona scored on a ‘Hail Mary.’ “Damn,” I said, and then got up. The entourage headed down the stairs. I was keeping a close eye on Melky because she moves so gingerly. She made it. I didn’t.  Failed to hit the last step. Face-planted! But even though my chin hit the floor, and so did my right elbow, that wasn’t the concern. I got sharp pain signals from both of my knees which had also hit hard. I must’ve made a noise because Kathy yelled...

A Winter Like Weekend

The dream of another bonus round of golf ended about mid-day Friday when I caught a glimpse of the weather report for Sunday. Heavy rains and high winds - 50 to 60 mph? That would result in some crazy drives. So, I had no reason to rush out of bed. Melky is still hanging around and was sound asleep next to me, Paris was on the floor, but Miller wasn’t in the chair he usually sleeps in. I woke about 6:30. Didn’t leave my bed until 8:30. Received news of a loss of an old friend due to Covid. Also, received a phone call from a client - one of the guys I’d talked with mid-week had tested positive. There’s heavy virus all around. Thought about dinner. Sauce was ready. Lasagna for a change. Listened to the wind howl. Animals had no interest in going out. Thanksgiving warnings are being posted. Stay home! It was a tough day to get fired up... ...but hey, the Bills were on! The entire mood of the people of Western New York went up considerably when the Bills scored a touchdown for a comeback v...

“Fox News Sucks!”

I’m pretty confused by the backlash coming from the crowd of people who are angry about the election. There was a “million-man-march” on Saturday and that was confusing because the park said that there were 11,600 people in attendance- a tad short of a million. I don’t watch a lot of Fox News but every once in awhile I’ll catch a story... ...like a Tucker Carlson piece where he spoke about how America is still beautiful. The commenters ripped him to shreds... ...talking about how Fox bailed on the only man who could actually save this country. This is where I’m lost. How can Trump be seen as any sort of savior? 240,000 plus dead. Fox News is on the poo-poo list because they had the gall to call the election for the guy who got the most votes. “Fox News Sucks!” They were chanting as they approached the Supreme Court in the mid 11,000 man parade. Some of the men standing there were dressed head-to-toe in Trump garments as if he led the league in touchdowns and yardage... ... these people...

My Controller Is Broken

When I was a young man I was highly competitive. Some may remember me as a poor sport even. We played a lot of baseball in my backyard and I would set the ground rules. I changed them from game to game. Then we entered the video game era and there was a whole new level of aggravation. My kids play now and I hear them yelling in their rooms at whoever they’re playing. I recognize their frustration because my brother Jeff owned me in all the video games... ...and when he would score on me he would punctuate it by yelling: “HE SHOOTS, HE SCORES!” I had a hundred and one excuses... ...none being more useful than: “There’s something wrong with my controller!” As I’m writing this I’m also thinking of my pal, Jeff Renaldo, who figured out a cheat code for SEGA Hockey ‘94. He would score anytime he wanted without even actually taking a shot. I still don’t know how he did it but I’d lose 7-4 and he’d finish with 7 goals and only 5 shots on goal. “You’re cheating!” I’d cry. The reaction to my ra...

Oh Dear!

Monday morning, first site of the day: “Dude, I’m leaving,” the foreman said. “Leaving? It’s 7:30. Short day?” “Come here.” He walked me over to the back of his truck. Lifted up a covering. There was a huge, very dead deer back there. “Got him last night. Arrow to the heart.” “You killed him with a bow and arrow?” I asked.  I couldn’t look at the poor guy. “Yep. Perfect shot.” “Not for him.” He laughed. “You don’t hunt?” “If I tried to shoot something with a bow and arrow I’d be dead in the woods from a self-inflicted blow to my heart.” He laughed again. “Problem I have,” I said. “Was my Dad shot a deer and hung it in the garage. I opened the garage door and saw the poor guy hanging there and I was weeping for hours.” “Ahh,” he said. “You’re a p*ssy.” And I am. There’s no disputing it. If I see a mouse in the garage I’m not running out to buy traps.  I’m shooing it out the door. He hangs around long enough and I might name him and then sing songs to him. We looked a little lon...

An Ace

There was a great video of a professional golfer skipping a ball across a pond and actually getting a hole in one as the ball rolled across the green. Just amazing - check it out - I don’t know how to add it here. We may have one more outing to try and get one on our 4-some. Then again, we may golf all year long! The weather this week has been stunning. I have never hit a hole in one.  I could never get closer than I did though, and while I’ve told the story before... ...it was the day after my 25th class reunion. We stayed at the bar until 4 a.m., and I was scheduled to tee off at 10 a.m. - in Syracuse! I slept for 3 hours and then made the 2.5 hour drive. They were screaming for me at the tee and I was still pulling my shoes on when my turn came up. Par 3 - 155 yards - blind green. “I think you’re on,” my cart partner said. Then. “Whoa! You have a tap-in birdie.” Then. “Dude, it’s stuck between the flag and the cup.” Then we arrived. Walked up to find my ball on the lip of the cu...

Peace & Quiet

I often think about a single Saturday early in our marriage. My great mother-in-law, sensing that we were overwhelmed with battling 3 young kids.. ...took all of them! And in the middle of a Saturday afternoon, I laid on the couch and watched the Yankees play the Giants in a inter-league game (Bonds homered but the Yankees won). Sometimes it seems like that was the last quiet day ever.  “What’s going on tomorrow?” I have asked every day for the last 25 years. “Not much,” is the answer I usually get. “Does Sam work?” “Yes.” “When to when?” “12 to 8.” “Okay, what else?” “Nothing much.” “Does Jake work?” “Yes.” “When to when?” “8 to 4.” “Okay,” I say. “What about you?” “Nothing.” Half hour later, she’s putting her shoes on. “Where you going?” “Therapy. I didn’t tell you?” “I asked you if you had anything.” “Oh.” And that’s what my life has been like since Bonds hit that homer. I’m on an ever-lasting quest to find out what the hell is going on? And do you know when the best conversatio...

Twenty-Seven Years Ago

The last time the Buffalo Bills were 7-2 was November 15, 1993. They actually lost that day to the Steelers 23-0 to fall from 7-1 to 7-2. It was in the middle of the 4th straight year that they went to the Super Bowl. We all know how those played out. Yet, back then, everyone knew that they were very good.  People around Buffalo wore shirts that said: “We’re back. Deal with it.” The people around the nation were actually sick of seeing the Bills in the super bowl. Imagine that. They’re 7-2 now. I don’t know if they’re any good. They looked great on Sunday. How have things changed since they were last 7-2? I wasn’t married back then. My week centered around who they were playing that week. I played a lot of Sega hockey, drank quite a bit of beer. I lived alone - unless you count my two birds - Bruce & Patti. I was certain that 1993 was finally the year that they brought it home. Josh Allen wasn’t yet born. I was 29 years old. And it’s funny, but I looked through the schedule fro...

Seventy-Two & Sunny 😎

On November 8th in Buffalo-Freaking-New York! And has anyone noticed that the Buffalo Bills are 7-2 for the first time since 1993... ...when they went to the Super Bowl. 2020 has appeared to be about six years long, but ever since the Springsteen record dropped on 10/23 things have been looking up. Unless you look at the Covid-19 numbers. The election mess disguised the fact that 100,000 new cases are there every single day. What do the next couple of months look like? The head of the Covid task force hasn’t been present on any of the calls for over a month. Then, in the middle of the wonderful summer-like day news broke that Alex Trebek lost his battle with cancer. I can’t even begin to name all the celebrities who have died in 2020. Yet, there was the sun. Not a cloud in the sky. Neighbors were raking leaves. I saw bikes moving down the street. Dogs outside. Someday soon there’s going to be a day that passes where we don’t have 12 BREAKING NEWS flashes. Th vile, hate-filled social me...

End of An Error

“What a great damn day,” one of my boys texted. “America isn’t dead.” And it finally broke on Saturday morning, less than an hour after Trump tweeted about how he won “by a lot.” He was on his way to the golf course. I imagine he was on the 3rd hole when it became official. How fitting. I hope he got a triple-bogey. For my kids, your kids and the world as we know it... ...character does matter and eventually we needed to return to some semblance of decency. ‘Joey Bides’ as Sam called him (he called Trump ‘Donny T’) is a good man. That’s why he won. It’s that simple. And all policies and political positions aside that’s where I feel the relief. There will be less chaos, less division and less hate. There just will be. We need checks and balances. We need honesty and less lying. “America isn’t dead.” That’s good news. As Trump pulled into his golf club he was greeted by a woman with a sign. There were just two words on it: “Good Riddance.”

Melkster

Over the last month or so, Melky has started to slide a bit. She’s 14 and a half years old and even though we believed that she’d be here forever... ...I left for a three-day trip wondering if she’d be here when I got back. When I called home I pretended to be interested in all the daily news but couldn’t wait to ask about Melky. “She’s lost a lot of weight and she’s struggling to sleep.” Damn. I don’t want her to suffer at all. I spent a few hours driving through Kansas and I have it plenty of thought. If this is it... ...well, it would be horrible, but... I got in the house around 10:00. The Melkster was fast asleep. Which was a sign because she usually would jump straight up. I shook her awake. And that 3-second moment was great. I could see how happy she was. During the day on Friday, she followed me. She ate a lot. Hung out in the backyard with Miller and Paris. “That’s so weird,” Sam said. “She doesn’t lift her head up when you’re gone. Now, she’s alive again.” It was a good day....

Life Is Surprising

 It’s 73 degrees on November 5th. I’m driving through Emporia, Kansas. The sun is shining and the cruise control is set at better than 80. Not a lot to see. Nothing to hit out here. I switch from the election news to Apple Car Play and Barbara Streisand’s voice is suddenly in the car with me. “A Woman In Love” And I marvel at the beauty I can find in the middle of a flat, boring drive. I sing along, aware that every person I’ve ever met would make fun of me forever if they heard that. Then Judy Collins: “Both Sides Now” “There’s something gained and something lost in living every day”... ...catches my ear and holds me for a minute. My heart buoyed by the love in my life, but shattered by the love that has slipped away. “Drive Fast, Fall Hard” Bruce sings next. “Don’t worry about tomorrow and don’t mind the scars.” Life can be surprising. A Kansas highway on a warm day in November... ...singing myself hoarse to Streisand... ...as the divided nation fights.

I Hereby Claim

What a weird day, huh? On election night, Trump had a lead in some places, as many knew he would because the votes that were mailed in weren’t counted. Thank God I wasn’t awake for the victory speech where he demanded they stop counting. Yet what followed was truly amazing. He demanded that they stop counting in states where he was ahead and he also demanded that they keep counting in places he was behind. He doesn’t even see the idiocy in that. And to be honest, I wasn’t all that nervous about it. I knew it was in the bag. But, now the trouble begins. He will never admit that he lost fair and square. God knows what he might do between now and January 20th. The incessant whining will be really tiresome... ...and yet... ...the sky was clearing. He sent out a few hate-filled tweets accusing the world of cheating... ...and I laughed. Because the end is near. I won’t have to care about any of their thoughts.  Ivanka, Jared, Eric, Barr, Melanoma... ...they’re all leaving our every day l...