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Showing posts from December, 2011

Last Day!

If 2012 is it, as legend has it, we should really pile on tonight, huh? Chances are, I really won't. It hasn't been that kind of year, and I'm closing it out with a lot on the agenda, and when that happens, I sleep lousy, get antsy, and act like a douche. So..Happy New Year!!! But realistically, I feel a good year coming on. I don't expect it, but I will take it if it comes down the pike. And once more, we use this forum to talk ourselves into dwelling on the beautiful in what can sometimes be an ugly life. So no talk of Sandusky or Syracuse. No mention of Lohan or the Kardashians. Let's go with the idea that the faith and love that we have is quite enough for now. Like the belief that God is in heaven and that He will eventually show the way. Let it Be. There will be an answer. Let it Be. Like the love of a beautiful wife and wonderful children. They drive me up the freaking wall, but they make me laugh a lot too. And I am amazed by them, every day. Like the belief

New England Book Festival

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So, the book placed in the New England Book festival and despite the fact that the awards ceremony is dangerously close to where the Red Sux eat fried chicken and drink beer during games, I'm going! When I received the email telling me that the book would get an award I immediately thought of my family. My Mom, my brothers and sisters, and all the wonderful people who sent me beautiful words about Jeff and the story. Like one I received earlier in the day. Dear Cliff, I sat down to start the book and never put it down until I was finished. I cried my eyes out because I have felt that pain before. This was the first time anyone has ever been able to describe what I was feeling when my Grandma had a stroke and was in the hospital. Although she was older, she was healthy and the head of our family. I would stay with her as much as I could and I hated to leave her in the hospital when I had to return to my "normal" life. I remember all the glimpses of hope when she would say

What the Hell Should I Eat?

So, if the resolution is to get healthy, drop a little weight, and feel better, can someone please tell me what the hell to do? Saw an article today that said drinking 80 ounces of water may not be good for you after all. Raise your hand if you ever saw an article like that before. I drink about 150 ounces of water a day, no lie. Eggs? Eat 'em? Don't eat 'em? Who the hell knows? Brown eggs? White eggs? Fried eggs? Egg whites? Scrambled? No one has ever really painted a clear picture there. Carbs are bad, right? Red meat...bad! Butter...horrible. But don't eat too much fish because of the Mercury. Clams will kill you. Pork? Chicken? Become a vegan! There it is, right? Wrong. Not happening. The other day we were talking about cutting back on carbs. A buddy of mine told me that perhaps it would be of benefit to eliminate one of two of my pasta days. He isn't my buddy anymore. I now eat a regular breakfast. I went from two sandwiches at lunch to one. I actually try to m

Need New Kicks?

So people are trampling one another for Michael Jordan's new sneakers that sell to inner city kids for $180 a pop. Every kid needs them. Downtrodden parents are trying to decide between heat for the winter or new shoes for their kids. I saw one mother attempting to buy them one at a time on an installment plan. This is something I really don't get. Of course, my friends know this about me. I usually kick it around in a pair of eight dollar Pro-Keds. I have never, on my own, bought shoes anywhere other than Pay Less. In fact, about eight years back, I was invited to my company's Christmas Party. One of the big bosses led me towards his Cadillac in the parking lot. He wouldn't tell me where we were headed, and I was a little shocked when he asked me to follow him into a shoe store where he bought a pair of black dress shoes for me. I've worn them twice since. But hey, I still got 'em. And it goes much deeper than that. During my pre-teen years I was the only rolle

Airing Dirty Laundry

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I don't know about you but I really don't like advertising when I'm having a tough time in a relationship, and despite the fact that I write a blog every day, I honestly don't say a hell of a lot about things that are troublesome. I was fascinated with the above sign that was posted in front of a real nice home not far from where I live. I don't really understand the message, I suppose, but I do get the angst and pain that went into what appears to be a 4 and a half year knockdown brawl. Divorce appears to be a real pain in the ass. It also doesn't seem like much of a financial move, but I'm just above the poverty line in marriage while my wife is upper middle class, but hey, I don't air such grievances. And you don't know whether or not to believe me anyway. But it's true. Anyhow...why advertise it? What is gained from such a sign? To embarass the other? Not a lot of respect there. Perhaps that's why the divorce happened. Revenge is a powerf

I'm Only Gonna' Say This Once

Well, the house is getting there. I haven't taken the tree down yet. I may leave it until Saturday, but the clean-up went well, and there were a few surprises along the way. I cooked yesterday. 12 pounds of turkey, 10 pounds of ham, a batch of sauce with 3 pounds of meatballs and about 5 pounds of sausage. The sauce was perfect. We also had five pounds of roast beef and I peeled over ten pounds of potatoes and mashed them. Tried Jeff's secret on the gravy, and it was good. Not there, but good. And usually Kethy's family hardly puts a dent in that much food. They normally eat like birds compared to my side of the family who eats as if we are going to the chair right after dinner. Well, surprise...they ate nearly everything. They drank a dozen bottles of wine, a bottle of Jamesons and a bottle of Patron. All right, I helped a little. I pounded a pound of the pasta and tried a few shots. I cleaned as I went and Kathy cleaned even more than me, but there were still a few stray

A Rum-Pa-Pa-Pum

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So there's Matt's favorite present. A pint of rum that you might see a homeless man sucking on as he sits up against a building in any city in the country. Ahhhh, college. I'm not sure just how the present came to be the first thing he opened, or why the hell Santa brought him such a thing, but he is the kid that would never have a drink. Heretofore he has been a responsible kid. I just needed a laugh as the presents were opened (mainly because gift-wrapping being strewn about is an attack to my OCD) and he provided it. Once more, my beautiful wife did a tremendous job of buying and wrapping each present. The kids were appreciative, thanking her with each one. "What am I wood?" I asked at one point. "You just funded it," they said. But we had a great couple of days of being together and feeling the love that accumulates here through the year. One of my other favorite lines of the holiday came out, in church, of all places. I reached for Jake's hand t

All the Heaven We Got

On Christmas Day try and think of the ten thousand wonderful things in your life that allow you that glimpse into the eternal bliss that we are all seeking. In my eyes this is all the heaven we got: The exact moment when you arrive home and the dog jumps to greet you. There's a little bit of heaven in that undeniable jubilation that controls every muscle in that dog's body. Hold onto that sunset or sunrise that sort of makes you go, 'Ahhh,'in awe of what you're seeing. I head East on a regular basis. A lot of time before the sun rises. Not many things more sure than the sunrise and if you happen to pay attention, it's awesome. The touch of someone you love, and it is more than just a sexual thing. Just a rub of the neck, or a pat on the arm. When it seems like you've been swimming upstream all day, it feels good to have a bit of human touch. Speaking of human touch...a song on the radio that catches you by surprise. Maybe something that you haven't heard

Go Tell It on the Mountain!

Every once in awhile I get an email or a Facebook post sent to me that screams of the indignity that "they" are trying to take the Christ out of Christmas. "They won't let the kids say God in the pledge." "Government officials are not allowed to whisper the word Christ." "They send out X-mas because they are trying to pretend Christ doesn't exist." Relax people. Just calm down. First off, who's "they?" Have you ever wished anyone a Merry Christmas and have them said, "Including Christ in your well-wishing offends me?" I didn't think so. Everyone in America is aware of the significance of Christmas and the presence of Christ in the conversation. Not everyone believes in a Tebow-esque manner, but the acknowledgement is certainly there. I went to public school. They aren't standing at the door handing out stickers of Satan. They aren't trying to stifle the children in any matter, unless they are an idiotic

Peace on Earth, Can it Be?

All righty then. You can have anything you want for Christmas, what would it be? 1). A million dollars? You'll piss your way through that. 2). A BB gun? You'll shoot your eye out. 3). A new baby boy or girl? The bastards grow up. 4). To be happy? That's a beauty pageant answer. You ain't no beauty. 5). Peace on Earth? All the bad guys are dropping like flies. There will be more to take their place. 6). Enough food on a routine basis? Your cholesterol...gotta watch your cholesterol. 7). The Bills and Sabres to try to win? Not happening. Come on over to the dark side. 27-time champions await your arrival. 8). A loving, understanding spouse? Actually, I hope you find a good companion...can't even bust on that one, but there are limits as we all know on how understanding and loving we all are. 9). Patience and wisdom This is the year, right? Everything is going to come together! There will be a true wave of knowledge overtaking all that you believe. Uh, probably not. 10

Lisa, It's Your Birthday, Happy Birthday, Lisa

Remember when Michael Jackson was on the Simpsons and he sang the Happy Birthday Lisa song? My brother Jeff used to really bust my chops with that song because back in college my close friend Lisa was never too far from my thoughts because I was mainly a drunken, goofy mess, and Lisa was the voice of reason. She was like a mother to me and my drunken cohorts and I wonder how that makes Lisa feel all these years later as she is the mother to her son and daughter, and most likely to her husband, Frank, a real good dude who knows nothing at all about sports. And I say Happy Birthday to Lisa today because I don't see her very often anymore, but because her friendship still means the world to me, and when we chat it's like time stood still. Quite a few years ago, for my birthday, Frank and Lisa joined Kathy and me for a Bills football game. It was Bills-Dolphins and Frank was rooting for Miami. I told you he lacks sports knowledge. Anyway, the long ago weekend is fresh in my mind be

The Real Story

The story of the Birth of Christ Jesus ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "About that time Caesar Augustus ordered a census to be taken throughout the Empire. This was the first census when Quirinius was the governor of Syria. Everyone had to travel to his hometown to be accounted for. So Joseph went from the Galilean town of Nazareth up to Bethlehem in Judah, David's hometown, for the census. As a decendant of David he had to go there. He went with Mary, his fiancee, who was pregnant. While they were there, the time came for her to give birth. She gave birth to a son, her firstborn. She wrapped Him in a blanket and laid Him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the hostel. There were shepherds camping in the neighborhood. They had set night watches over their sheep. Suddenly, God's angel stood among them and God's glory blazed around them. They were terrified. The angel said, "Don't be afraid. I'm here to announce a great and joyful event that is meant for eve

"Ahh, Look At All the Boats!"

My first trip over the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco was memorable for a couple of reasons. Let me set the scene: Dad had been living in California for a few weeks. Mom and I left Buffalo just two weeks after I finished my senior year in high school. On the flight out, we drank pretty good. A ton of laughs between mother and son as we sat in first class sipping champagne, and downed a few during our layover in Chicago. Dad was a tad aggravated when he picked us up at the airport, but we loaded the car with our luggage. Mom was visitng for a week. I would be staying on indefinitely. With every turn of the head we took in a golden vision. The entire city should be on a postcard. We headed for the bridge in the Ford Galaxy, a huge car with a wide backseat. I was in the center of the backseat with Dad driving and Mom in the passenger seat. We started the drive across the bridge, I took a peek at Alcatraz. Mom lowered her window and tossed her cigarette. Into the backseat. I was danci

The Ghosts of Christmas' Past

Not really sure what it is, but I have very little Christmas spirit thus far. I have even less anticipation when it comes to New Year's Eve. Perhaps it's because there isn't any snow, but I am not big on snow anyway so that can't be it. Maybe it's because I haven't stepped foot into a store this year because my beautiful wife told me not to buy her anything and she did all of the rest of the shopping, but I hate stores too, so that most likely isn't it. The kids are older so the surprise element is gone. They get presents that make a stack only a few inches thick because all of the new electronics are small. They will open the presents quickly, and be on there way. The week that just passed felt like a month, but a lot of weeks are like that. So, let's figure it out together and perhaps we can get a few moments of celebration out of the season. Of course, there is the religious element to it. I was an altar boy for at least ten years at the Midnight Mass

The Top Three - Week Two

Wow, in the week before Christmas we have plenty of stuff to choose from, don't we? We can talk about how Tim Tebow appears to be the first Christian to ever play professional sports. Or we can mention Kobe and the sad disintegration of his marriage despite the fact that he only allegedly raped one girl. That's a shame, right? After all, men have urges. Perhaps Britney Spears and the fact that she is getting married for the 3rd time. I think I'll wait for the divorce to comment on that one. I already mentioned Deidre Pujols and the slap-in-the-face-insult of being offered #130 mil. Poor lady. The ever-evolving Syracuse and Penn State stories make me sick, so we will hold off there. A school here in the Buffalo area was reprimanded for an ethnic chant that evidently went on for years. A former hockey player pleaded guilty of drunk-driving because his stupid wheel fell off; Ryan Braun got busted for steroids. (By the way, why is it "pleaded" guilty instead of "

Dear Santa

Dear Santa, My brother called me yesterday and asked me what I wanted for Christmas as he had drawn my name. The question caught me off-guard because I really haven't thought about anything I want. The 27-Time World Champion Yankees aren't the 28-time World Champion Yankees so sadly I don't need a plaque for my front room. The bottom line being, I have all the material things I need, so Santa baby, there really is no reason to be writing you a letter this year. Unless, that is, you can deliver a few of the things I really need, like: 1). A right leg that doesn't feel like a dead limb. I know we discussed this last Christmas and surgery seemed to be like the present you suggested, but I did that twice. I still feel lousy. Can you get the dim-witted elves on something? 2). A little patience? You got that in your big red bag? Evidently not, I've been asking for it since I wrote my first letter to you at about the age of 6. Every year I look for it: nothing. 3). A decen

How Insulting!!!!

Deidre Pujols, the wife of Albert Pujols, the guy who just landed a $254 million contract for hitting a ball with a stick, was interviewed about the tormented state of mind that went into the horrific ordeal of free agency. You see, over the course of the last ten years the Pujols family has had to skrimp and save to get by on the paltry salary of about $16 mil per year. Albert was the best player in baseball and by all acounts, he was due for a big raise. So his team, the St. Louis Cardinals had the audacity to undercut him. They offered him $195 million over 9 years in spring training. He declined and talked about respect. The Cards came back with a shorter offer that would grant Albert the King of all payroll. $130 million over 5 years. And you know what Deidre said? She said that the offer was an insult. She said that free agency is hard and that she wouldn't wish it on anyone. You know what's hard, Deidre? Choosing between the electric bill and the gas bill. Wondering if t

Oh, Pretty Woman

There are some jewels on my I-pod, of course. The other afternoon, while typing work reports, Roy Orbison's Oh, Pretty Woman came on. I can remember where I was the first time I ever heard the song. It was a Saturday afternoon and I was about 11 or 12 years old. Dad had a state-of-the-art record player that came out of the wall. We were encouraged not to ever touch it. But this day, Dad was spinning a few records. "Listen to this," he said. And I did. Mostly because it was a song that was a story. The narrator (Orbison) was extremely interested in the pretty woman who was evidently just walking back and forth in front of him. She was taunting him with her walk. That much is real plain to see. I can remember getting antsy as my Dad sang along. I remember thinking the part where Orbison says, "Mercy!" was cool. I still think that. I must have drifted a bit because on that day long ago, Dad told me to pay attention to the conclusion of the song. What do I see? Is s

We Do A Lot of Texting

All righty then... I just finished reading an article about the actor from Lost, Doug Hutchinson, who is 51 years old. I never saw the show, didn't know who he was before reading the article, and had to write his name down before I forgot it. But he's doing all right, I suppose. You see, he's recently married...to 16-year old Courtney Stodden. Yep. He's 51 and she's 16. And it's all legal as far as I can tell. Can you imagine? All right, boys, stop imagining. Because it is a tad weird, me thinks. First of all, I'd probably have to drive a spike through her head. The other night my beautiful wife suggested a movie and I said, and I quote: "It's kinda' getting late." She laughed and it hurt my feelings. "It's 8:22," she said. And I'm four years younger than this guy. Of course, I saw the photo of the young wife. She's about what you'd think. Long blond hair, big round.... You get it. But here's where the story go

Just Own Up To It

I don't know why I have a problem with Tim Tebow. Here's a guy who, by all accounts, is a really strong character guy. He leads with a prayer and invokes God name every thirty seconds. Okay, so I know why I have a problem with him. It's just too much. Over and over he mentions things that I should be doing to lead a great life. Yeah, it's about faith, and I'm all for what he's saying, but the over and over as if I'm not quite where he's at...kind of bugs me. I just haven't been blessed with the same level of understanding, I suppose. Or maybe, what I believe may not necessarily be what you believe, so I temper it a bit. Anyway...I thought of Tebow and another player today because sports does teach life lessons if we watch. The other guy is the National League MVP Ryan Braun. You see a few years ago, when A-Rod was trying to rid himself of the guilt of taking steroids Braun was very vocal. He explained that what A-Rod did was wrong and that he should

Minutes to Memories

I run these lyrics every six months or so. Song popped onto my I-pod as I was working on the next story. Simply awesome. Every single person in the world should be exposed to these words instead of watching Jersey Shore. Minutes to Memories by John Mellencamp On a Greyhound thirty miles beyond Jamestown he saw the sun set on the Tennessee line He looked at the young man who was riding beside him He said, "I'm old. Kind of worn out inside. I worked my whole life in the steel mills of Gary and like my father before me I helped build this land. Now I'm 77 and with God as my witness, I've earned every dollar that's passed through my hands. My family and friends are the best things I've known And through the eye of a needle I'll carry them home." Days turn to minutes and minutes to memories life sweeps away the dreams that we had planned You are young and you are the future so suck it up and tough it out and do the best you can. The rain hit the old dog in

The Top Three-Week of 12/4 to 12/10

A new weekly feature here! We will be talking about the top three stories of each week. We will also have a bit of a lottery so feel free to bet. Lottery: The top three numbers from 1 to 3. Here we go: 3...1...2... Check your tickets. Hope you won. The Top Three Stories: 3). Cain drops out. So, we went from 9,9,9 to sexual harassment allegations to an alleged 13-year affair and the Godfather pizza mogul couldn't stand the heat so he had to get out of the kitchen. Here's a scoop: I wouldn't have voted for him, but I'll miss the comedy. 2). King Albert Signs. $254 million dollars. Think of it. You have been working since you turned 15 or 16, right? Some years have been better than others. Some days you're the windshield and some days you're the bug. Most likely, in all those years, including all the money you've earned in every possible scenario, you probably haven't yet approached earning a mil, certainly not more than a couple mil, right? 3 mil? 4 mil

Our Trip to Verizon

I could kill my buddy John. You see, he brought his I-phone by last weekend. I checked it out. It was better than my old Droid. The market had passed me by. It had been a long time since I upgraded. I thought about it a bit after John's visit and the next day I stopped by the Verizon store to see if I was, in fact, due for a new phone. As luck might have it. At dinner I announced to the kids that we would do a telephone hands-me-down sort of thing. I would upgrade, my old phone would go to Jake and his old phone would go to Sam. We would all gain a little. After dinner we stepped out to the store. I was in my pajamas. I guess I have officially given up. Jake was fired up. We stepped in front of a 20-something guy who was a virtual encyclopedia of telephones. He spoke so quickly that I had to have my translator there for me. Before long he and Kathy were in a full-fledged discussion of plans, mbs, gbs, and whatever the hell else came up. They were talking cell lines, land lines, dat

It's Not About the Money

Et tu Albert? He loves the fans in St. Louis. They are the smartest fans and he wants nothing more than to be the next Stan Musial in the world's greatest baseball town. His family is there. He loves it there. Nothing he'd rather do than finish his career with one team. I guess there are truly only a few really dedicated guys like Jeter, Ripken, and Gwynn. I really thought that Albert fit the description. What is really going to drive me up the wall is when King Albert starts his Angels press conference by telling us that it's not about the money. For the record, the Angels are paying him about $26 mil a year and the Cards came in at about $22 mil a year. If it's not about the money than what is it about? Wanting to settle the wild west? I'm sure that before the press conference is over Albert will make reference to the fact that he felt as if St. Louis management had disrespected him. How dare they insult him by making him such a paltry offer? The other thing about

Sherman T. Potter

We all loved Potter, right? He was always sensible and the voice of reason in a difficult situation. Wonder what he thought of all the crap during his last few days on Earth. Like the Beastie Boys being elected into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. Like Sandusky not being able to answer whether or not he is attracted to boys. Like Bernie Fine's wife being as big a scumbag as her husband. Like the Red Hot Chili Peppers being elected to the Rock& Roll Hall of Fame. Like Newt Gingrich becoming a bona fide candidate. Like no snow in Buffalo until after December 1st Like the Miami Marlins spending 200 mil on free agents. Like the Yankees not spending one thin dime yet. Like the Colts being 0 and 12. Like the Packers being 12 and 0. Like Hawkeye and BJ not picking on Winchester. Like Penn State accepting the bowl bid. Like Paula and Simon on television together again. Like New York State actually considering a tax cut for the middle class. Like Klinger actually marrying Sun-Li. Like

Freeze My Head

We've been over this before as Ted Williams head was frozen upon his death so that he could come back later on and be a productive human being again. I doubt he'll ever hit .400 again or be better than DiMaggio, but you never know. The subject has come up again because Larry King is now saying that he wants his entire body frozen upon his death until they can come up with a cure for whatever that finally kills him. Does it work if he gets hit by a bus? Yet the whole idea of it kind of scares me. Isn't the idea that we get a certain amount of time to do our thing, and then we go peacefully off into eternal rest? Larry King is about a hundred years old now. He's been married a dozen times. He's earned millions of dollars for God knows why. And now he wants more. I really do believe that to everything there is a season. We don't get an infinite number of days for a reason. The world is filled with people. You can't even get out of a parking lot without a long d

Pops for Prez

Recently, upon hearing the sad news that Herman Cain had suspended his candidacy for president, I looked around at what was left and decided that I wanted to start a campaign to elect my buddy Jeff Popple. First off, on Cain...he had those stubborn sexual harassment charges that kept coming up. Pops is clear there. He treats women and children with respect. Then there was that 13 year affair...allegedly that Cain supposedly had. Pops hasn't had any affairs...he was lucky, lucky, lucky (like me) to capture a wife. So Pops over Cain all day long. Newt Gingrich? Remember when he served his wife the divorce papers as she underwent treatment for the cancer that was killing her? Pops would never do that. He might eat her meal from the hospital tray, but he'd wait until she was asleep. Rick Perry? Have you heard him mangle the English language? Pops is literate in every way. He can read, write and speak. He would be able to answer every question posed, and there would be no side-stepp

The Birthday Blog for Cort

My sister Corinne is a wonderful woman, full of laughter, sadness, expression and love. She is dedicated, loyal, strong, brilliant and celebratory. She loves the little things in life that other people routinely miss. The little things she does mean the world to everyone she comes into contact with. So there we are. And there are so many stories that I could tell you. Stories that make me laugh out loud to myself as I consider all that went into forming the person she is today. Like going to buy the shake and bake. Like chasing us out of her rooms on Saturday mornings with a phrase that would make the anti-gay people in the world tremble in their pillowy slippers. Like singing Mariah Carey in a falsetto voice that made my sister and me fall on the floor in laughter. Like dancing with my boys in the parking lot at the Chinese Buffet in the dead of winter. So many, many more. But in the end its all about looking for, praying for and expecting guidance from your older sister. And I don

Saturday Night is All Right for....Bevis?

What started in the summer as an opportunity to control chaos has sort of become a lifestyle change that I've really enjoyed. You see, rather than tip a few on the weekends I decided to give it up for awhile. I haven't had more than a dozen drinks in ten months. It started out weird, but now I don't even consider ordering a drink. I must admit that more than a few of my friends are a little perplexed, but I do feel better. Whatever, this isn't an anti-drinking blog. Even I'm not enough of a hypocrite to say that drinking is evil. It isn't. It's fun. But, what to do on a Saturday night? I let my beautiful wife choose the movie. We sat through the same movie that we've seen about four hundred times. Yep, a romantic comedy. Justin Timberlake and some dark, pretty, "damaged" girl. First off, neither of these people, despite their angst would ever have a problem getting laid. We are supposed to suspend belief there. Then they hook up, have a misunde

Sometimes the Truth is Just Plain Weird

As per usual I was listening to a bit of talk radio as I drove this week. Hands down, the strangest item I heard was about a man in one of them there states where teeth are a luxury, and incest is an option, and where they vote straight Republican. This guy may have taken it a bit far. It seems his wife made a discovery. Allegedly the gentleman, whom she had shared her marriage bed with for 15 years, had drilled a hole from the interior of his garage, so that he could place a camera in there to monitor the activity of the interior of his bathroom. The only images that his wife supposedly saw on the tape were those of her 57-year old mother as she took a pee. There was a lot of footage of the activity. Of course, Jay Thomas handled the subject with his usual dignity. (I love him). "I am reserving judgement of the act until I see what the mother-in-law looks like," Jay said. "That marriage might just be over." He added. Yep, that one there is a deal-breaker, I'm s

My Friends in the 'Cuse

I have been going to Syracuse every couple of weeks since about 1991. I know the town inside and out, and like Buffalo the people who live there are hearty types. They work hard, they suffer through miserable winters and they try to grab something they can hang onto. For most of the fine citizens there they identify with the Syracuse Orange and the football team, which isn't great, and the basketball team, which has been great. They really identify with the head coach of the team, Jim Boeheim, who is from the Central New York area. So none of them were ready for wise-cracking Cliffy who made a visit. "Hey, now I know how you got those season tickets to the Orange games, Tom. How is Bernie by the way?" "One way of getting a child through the shame of molestation is by having your wife do him when he gets old enough." And none of it is a joking matter. Another real sick situation, and one that is even closer to home to me than the Penn State deal. "They shoul

A Ten Pound Weight

You never know what you'll hear on Howard. In the middle of a funny interview with another radio shock jock, Jason Ellis, Howard got to the bottom of Ellis' marital strife. Ellis actually uttered the great line. "Even the strongest man in the world can't hold a ten pound weight over his head forever. Eventually, he will drop it." Profound, right? I know a lot of people who hold a weight over their own head, every day of their life, pretending that they can handle it forever and too afraid to just let it go. I have carried various weights, at various times, for varied durations. Sometimes we need to ask others to help us hold the weight for a little while until we can get our grip back. There are even more days when we should just give up hoisting it aloft. The problem being, of course, that we don't want to appear weak. We don't want to ask for help, and sometimes when we get used to lugging the burden we sort of hang onto it like a crutch, afraid to let i

It's All Passing Me By All of a Sudden

Sam was singing a rap song the other day. I think it came on during a movie or a commercial or something. As he sang, I lurched for the remote. "Hey!" he screamed as I muted it. "That's a good song." "That's not a song. No instruments, no singing, nothing. It's hurting my ears." Then it occurred to me that I have never seen any of the following shows: Dancing with the Stars, America's Got Talent, Grey's Anatomy, Big Brother, or even American Idol for that matter. I don't know anything about any of the following movies: Harry Potter, or Twighlight. The world has officially passed me by. Last night I watched an episode of Bob Newhart followed by the Odd Couple. Newhart was from 1974. Oscar and Felix from 1972. Tony Randall is dead. Newhart's wife is dead. Klugman and Newhart are barely hanging on. I got aggravated watching football this week. One guy stepped on another guy's head. Every first down was cause for a Broadway Show