Three Really Bad Minutes

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So, we’re watching the Bills game on Sunday. Just me and Kathy and two dogs and a cat.

The Bills scored with 34 seconds left to take the lead, and Paris got into position in front of me. 

Paris is the least demanding of all the animals - or kids in the house - she holds on as long as she can before needing to go out.

“Hang on!” I said.

Arizona had the ball and was approaching the 50. I only needed another minute because there was time for just one more play.

Melky and Miller, sensing that they’d all be going out soon, also got into position.

Arizona scored on a ‘Hail Mary.’

“Damn,” I said, and then got up.

The entourage headed down the stairs. I was keeping a close eye on Melky because she moves so gingerly.

She made it.

I didn’t. 

Failed to hit the last step.

Face-planted!

But even though my chin hit the floor, and so did my right elbow, that wasn’t the concern.

I got sharp pain signals from both of my knees which had also hit hard.

I must’ve made a noise because Kathy yelled out.

“What’s going on?”

“I fell down the f****ng stairs!”

I laid there. Wondering if I was going to be able to stand up.

Paris swung by to see what the hell was going on. Miller yelled at me for laying down when I should be up and opening the door.

Then Melky instantly puked up dinner.

It took me awhile to move. I let them out. Limped to the cupboard to get the stuff to clean up the puke.

“You all right?”

“No!” 

I was in the process of cleaning up the puke.

“Wow! You’ve had a good few minutes.”

Cut to Monday morning.

Feet on the floor.

“Oh God!”

It crossed my mind that heading to construction sites and climbing ladders might be a problem.

But I went...

...mostly to tell the story. The guys were howling at the first site.

And for the 100th time in my life I wondered how anyone could possibly survive a fall from height.

Gonna’ be a few days to pain-free movement.

Then I heard from Sam.

“Dude, you fall down the stairs?”

“Yeah.”

“God, I wish we had that on video.”

It’s nice to feel loved.

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