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Showing posts from May, 2016

The 19 Year Mark!

Happy Anniversary to my beautiful wife! It's funny, but on our wedding day I had turned to my wife-to-be just as we arrived to say our vows. "Twenty and Out," I whispered. "Gotta' take it like a prison term." Kathy laughed. She often reminds me that we are getting close to the end of our run. She also knows that Twenty and Out isn't going to work... ...at least for me... ...because we have had a wonderful run... ... no prison-like-conditions! We have shared so much. We have battled through epic sadness and have enjoyed the best of what life has to offer. When I was just a teenager I walked in on my Dad and Mom doing a slow dance to Kenny Rogers song, Through the Years. Dad, who had a wonderful voice, was singing along with the words. Mom was looking up to him... ... smiling. I can recall how emotional I was at that moment. Just a beautiful moment. And recently I heard the song again... ...and while I thought of Mom

Memorial Day

My Memorial Day memories are of the parades in the small town of North Collins. All of the veterans would march. As a child I was drawn to the uniforms and the formations. I knew that it meant more to our country than what I could comprehend. I also knew that men went off to war and they didn't always come home, and that some who did come home weren't the same as when they left. The looks on the faces of the men was deadly serious. I could tell that the holiday meant more to them than just cooking out in the backyard. And I knew that a lot of those men were friends with my Mom and Dad. But I was confused, of course. Why did there have to be wars? I recall being glad that my Dad never had to go. I remember asking a nun...if it was murder to kill a man...what made it different if it was in war. She stumbled over the answer. And I think of all of those things as an adult. Even now, with all of the turmoil in our own country, with all the back and forth be

We Made It!

To Memorial Day Weekend. The sun felt nice on my face on Saturday, but there was a lot of work going on at Camp Clifford as we tried to make some progress on the weeds. Thankfully I had boys to handle the heavy bags of mulch and stone, but the two who were with me were very liberals with their breaks and I had to buy a pizza as well. As we worked I thought of how difficult it all would've been for my three boys if my Dad were the one cracking the whip. They wouldn't have survived. And I think that was the reason I was so fired up to make some of the changes to the look around the yard. As a kid Memorial Day Weekend was the official weekend to plant the garden. We used to plant a huge garden. The same words were often repeated over and over as Dad implored is to stop screwing around. I was always the guy who actually sat on the ground and planted everything. I wasn't allowed to try and run the tiller. (I had a complete weakness when it came to operating the e

Watch Out For Moose In the Roadway

I've been driving through Maine a bit over the course of the past three months or so. And it's a beautiful place. Think green and clean. It looks like a great place to camp out, if you're interested in that sort of thing. I'm not. My beautiful wife and my terribly wimpy children aren't either. Yet I have always smiled about the "Watch out for moose in the roadway" signs that are posted along the way. I've also enjoyed my trip through Poland because I'm usually sipping on a Poland Spring as I drive by. Well, this trip made me think a little more because the day before I arrived I read an article about the poor woman, Geraldine Largay, a hiker, a wife and a mother, who got lost on the Appalachin Trail. The poor woman left the trail, got disoriented and was missing for a month before they found her dead of starvation in a spot where she had set up camp just two miles from being saved. It's an awful story. I glanced at the comment

Hey, Hey, Hey! Guess Who's Going On Trial

Bill Cosby will have his day in court. He doesn't want to go to court, mind you, but he will be prosecuted for a sexual assault that was said to have happened in 2004...when he was 67 years old. Some 50 or 60 women later. There are so many disturbing aspects of this story. Let's recount: 1). Cosby was beloved. I'm talking everyone! When he was Cliff Huxtable we all talked about his brilliance. He was one of the top grossing comics on tour. He worked clean! He lectured the black community. He implored the fathers to stand up and be men! Colleges stood in line to award him doctorates and the entire country grieved with him and his wife when they lost a son. 2). Everyone covered for him! People were whispering about him, and in a day and age when some of the accusations could've been investigated and proven...he was allowed to skate! He may have paid his way out. Judges and prosecutors may have just let him slide cause he was famous. It took a fellow

Happy Birthday, You Dopey Bastard

The 27-Time World Champion Greatest Franchise in the History of Organized American Sports gave Matt an early birthday present last week: They swept the hapless, putrid, desperate, pitiful, vile team in green and gold: The Oakland A's (the 'A' stands for atrocious). Matt had the distinct pleasure of watching one of the four games with me. He actually had the gall to argue balls and strikes. I reminded him that he's a dopey bastard. And he argued. A couple of days after that we talked about the Bills chances for the 2016 season. I'm not kidding here: he thinks they will win the Super Bowl. We argued some more. I taught him to accept nothing, to argue everything... And while that is mind-boggling to me what isn't is that he's grown to be a man in a lot of other ways. He works hard. He treats his family with respect. He is good to his girlfriend. He usually thinks things through. Yet...I would be remiss if I didn't embarrass h

Floppy is Back!!!

LeBron James is a terrific basketball player. Just ask him. I watched an interview with him after the Game 3 loss to Toronto (my new favorite team) and in a 3-minute interview he must have said "I" at least 50 times. LeBron loves LeBron. But that's not my least favorite thing about him! In Game 3 there was a bit of a scuffle between a Toronto player and a Cleveland player. Their names aren't important. Well, the Cleveland player threw an elbow. LeBron thought the Toronto player threw it... ...because although it grazed LeBron's chin... ...he flopped as though he had been hit with an impact wrench. I'm not exaggerating! Find the footage!! The point of impact was about 40' feet from where Floppy the Crybaby actually made contact with the floor. That's what I hate the most about him! He has been on record as saying that "flopping is a strategy". How is that different than putting pine tar on the ball to get an advan

Are You Ready For Some Football?

Let's talk about the devil in our midst: The NFL! 1). Tom Brady is taking them back to court to eliminate the 4-game suspension for allegedly taking air out of the ball that led to a 45-10 win. This has obviously been the most ridiculous suspension in the history of any sport anywhere, ever. But there's no compromise on the horizon because the idiotic leadership of the Devil League decided to drag their best player through the mud...because. People speculate as to why, but Brady is sticking to his guns because he said he didn't do it. Who's on the edge of their seat for the outcome? 2). Erik Kramer is out talking about shooting himself in the face after writing suicide notes to his family because he suffered from horrible depression after his NFL career ended. He's not sure if it's because he was knocked senseless for years, but he's glad he isn't dead. Once he does die...they'll test his brain and find it damaged. Which brings us t

Spring Work

This is the time of the year when everyone starts on the projects outside in an effort to get the house in shape. I must admit that Camp Clifford needs some work, but the campers don't seem to care, and the camp counselor struggles to do said work. The trim on the house needs painting. The garage needs paint and some woodwork done. The landscaping always needs to be handled after a Buffalo winter... ...and... Freaking Weeds!!! The weeds need to be picked! "You pick 'em and they grow back," Ssm said. "Makes no sense." "Then why cut the grass?" I asked. "Why even get a haircut?" But weed-pulling is still not popular... ...I have to beg them. I actually try and grab a few each time I step outside...it is a bit of a losing battle for me mentally. "It's you! Not the weeds," Sam tried. "Look around...who needs EVERY single weed gone?" "Me," I said. "And you too if you want to see th

What the Hell Is Madonna Doing?

The New York Post ran a couple of photos of Madonna this week... ...I'm not grabbing the photos for you... One shows her breasts through a see-through shirt. The other shows her ass... ...also see-through. She's 57 years old! Do we wanna' see that anymore? Haven't we all seen it about 50 times by now? Back in the 80's she was a young superstar... ...she played the slut to an extreme and made hundreds of millions. She also had a few good songs and I kind of looked when she appeared half-naked. Now? Well, I looked again... ...but that's not the point. What is she doing? What's the career trajectory here? Shouldn't she have taken it another way? She has kids. One of them, reportedly, doesn't want anything to do with her. Could he be embarrassed? Ah well... ...there has to be an audience for it, right? She really doesn't have much left to show us. Does she?

Class of 2011 Jeffrey Fazzolari Memorial Award by Carol Wittmeyer

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Simon Dietrich, student honoree, and Paul Rose, Director of Buildings & Grounds & Dear Friend of Jeff! My cousin Carol attended the Gow Awards Ceremony...she took the time out to document the day's events and how she felt as she listened to the special moment when Gow awarded Jeff's award. Thank you so much for sharing, Carol! Class of 2011 Jeffrey Fazzolari Memorial Award - By Carol Wittmeyer This award is given by the class of 2011 to honor that student, faculty, or staff member who always exhibits a positive attitude and humor, no matter the circumstances. This award is given in memory of Jeffrey Fazzolari, Gow's former Executive Chef and a cherished friend to the Gow Community. So I was able to attend the Gow event on Thursday, for the 2nd time. Once again, I enjoyed it immensely. Taking some time out of life to honor my special cousin, Jeffrey Fazzolari, was enough of a reason to enjoy the event... ...but there were many other gifts there for me a

Joey Bats

Back in October I made a prediction. Jose Bautista had hit a huge homer for the Toronto Blue Jays against the Texas Rangers. He was going to take one in the ribs for celebrating the homer. And I was wildly ridiculed as an old man who was in touch with those who believed that baseball needs the spark of men celebrating their accomplishments. I argued far and wide. Maybe even a little too hard. Now let me be honest here...I hate all celebrating...in all sports. I can't stand when LeBron beats on his chest after a dunk. I don't like when wide receivers make the first down signal after making a catch. I can see celebrating a hockey goal, but even when they take their stick and point it like a rifle... ...it's a little much. So I made my prediction. "I can't wait until Texas pays him back," I wrote. But my pleasure was more than doubled by the Rangers second baseman, Rougned Odor (yeah...that's his name). Odor punched Joey Bats in th

Daisy, Doris & Mary Ellen

Was in Indianola, Iowa checking a job. I decided to grab a newspaper to glance at as I ate lunch and while I ate enough...this story isn't about lunch. I passed on the USA Today and instead grabbed the Indianola-Record-Herald instead. Why not learn a little about the place? And that's where I met Daisy, Doris and Mary Ellen. They were all in the obits. The youngest of the 3 was 85 so I didn't feel any pain in reading the accounting of their lives. Nice, simple lives. Doris and her husband, Stan, sold cream and butter. Daisy and George operated a cow/calf operation. Mary Ellen met her husband, Nellie, when he scooped her off the floor at the roller rink in 1947. They were together ever since. All three of the obits spoke of a love of God. Daisy, Doris and Mary Ellen were shooting hard for everlasting life. Mary Ellen had 10 great grandchildren, Doris had 8 and Daisy won that competition with 12. And I must say that life in Iowa does seem a tad slower.

I Don't Do Stairs

Read a story about Mariah Carey. Evidently she was appearing somewhere recently at the ungodly time of 12:45 p.m. and she announced to the crowd that she was gonna' 'wake everyone up!' Apparently she usually sleeps until 3 p.m., so...she assumed...everyone was put out by the "early start." By 12:45 on most days I've already been awake for 8 hours... ...but different strokes. Yet Mariah gives 'Divas' a bad name. She was actually carried up a set of stairs by two men... ...carried! Her rider allegedly says: "Mariah doesn't do stairs." Come on! I hope it isn't true, but I sort of believe it. Mariah has always appeared to be a tad over-involved in her own self, and she's lived her life under a microscope of sorts... ...it can't be easy. I mean, if you had to get up at the ass crack of dawn to make a 30-second speech... ...damn right someone best be lifting your ass up the stairs. The story went on to

Everybody is Sorry!

I recall flying to Tampa, Florida back in 1974. We were served a real meal on the flight. Everyone was smoking cigarettes in a confined space. We had all sorts of room to move and the flight attendants were cool. A couple of weeks ago I got left in a city on a Friday night, without a bag, and I was being served by a whole bunch of people who could barely pretend that they were mindful of my inconvenience. They pretended to be sorry. Through the years my favorite meal go eat in a restaurant has always been breakfast. Eggs over easy, hash browns, coffee and a water... ...easy. Who can screw that up? A week ago Sunday six of us went to our favorite breakfast place. The waitress seemed absolutely disinterested and after we ordered we couldn't find her for more than a half an hour. It took us over an hour to eat. They said they were sorry. So. This week, with limited time home, I decided to invite my beautiful wife to breakfast. "What can I get you to drink?

The Weather Sucks

Coming off a bad weekend in Buffalo. Hail in some parts and snow in the forecast. I've driven by a couple of golf courses... ...that's about it. Legs feel like garbage anyways... ...but it's the point! I want to be able to golf on the weekends if I can manage it! I'm not golfing when it's 28 degrees out... ...I have enough trouble getting the ball to carry. But what the hell can you do about it? Just grab a coat and a hat and mittens if you need to and head out and do like everyone else: Complain. "I wish it would warm up." "This is awful." "Where's the sun?" I suppose that weather is a great place to start when you have absolutely nothing to say to the other person. I'm hoping I'm not getting to the point where the weather forecast on the news isn't the most important part of the day... ...but there are some very attractive weather girls on the national feeds. And they haven't had

Three Free Punches

Stuck in the airport last week and was doing the walk through the terminal when the woman 2 feet in front of me did what people sometimes do while walking along. She changed her mind about where she was going. And turned around quickly and we smashed into one another. "Oops, sorry," she said. I returned to my seat and told my travel partner: "We should all get 3 free punches every month." "Like the purge," she said. "I'm not talking murder," I said. "Just simple aggravated assault." The guy seated beside me laughed. "But they keep count somewhere," I said. "Which leads to a bit of rationing. You have to decide who is worthy of your punches and if you punch people on the 1st, 2nd and 3rd of the month you have to wait 4 weeks before you get another pop." "You'd probably get punched every day for the rest of your life," my friend said. Whoops! I hadn't thought of that angle,

Prom Photos

Must be prom weekend. I'm seeing a whole bunch of photos of young adults all dressed up to go out, and I know how old I'm getting because all I'm thinking is that I hope they're safe! But after that initial thought I always consider the proms that I attended and how much of a big shot we all were. I remember a bunch of things about the nights. How the junior prom was messed up because we all were unsure about all the dating things and we ended the evening at one big party in town where we wound up just hanging out with the boys on one side of the room and the girls 'over there.' By senior year we were all so serious! Jeffy won prom king. We danced to Air Supply and I spent a lot of time with my brother John and his date. Big shots! Life seemed stressful then! But life is never as bad as its gonna' get! That is why when I look at those 'children' I can only hope that they're safe and that they have fun! It's just a prom.

Buying Zimmy's Gun

How much more despicable can George Zimmerman be? He stood his ground and killed a man. Trayvon Martin was a man who had people who loved him. He died after meeting Zimmerman and (depending upon how you look at it) stood up to Zimmerman who was playing cop. A fight ensued. Zimmerman had a gun and he used it to either defend his life or simply to end Trayvon's life. The story was a real black eye on our society and no matter which side you fell on: Zimmerman was in the right! Or Zimmy was a straight up murderer. There is one fundamental truth: Trayvon was shot by George Zimmerman's gun. Now Zimmerman is auctioning off the gun with an opening bid of 5 grand... ...he's doing it so he can cause the demise of Hillary. God help you if you can defend that action in any way, shape or form. And who the hell wants that gun? It's not like buying Jeter's spikes from the '96 series. It's a collectible because it ended man's life? Or is

Think New Thoughts

It's pretty easy to stay in one spot in your mind. I had lunch with a friend the other day and we took a little time to talk about the Trump phenomenon that has taken the country by hold. It's a crazy thing, actually, if you really break it down because there has been a pretty sweeping change in the political landscape. By calling detractors names and smashing through all sorts of barriers Trump has brought a new reality to how we see politicians. Which has brought changes. Good, bad or indifferent we are now looking at things differently. We'll find out if it was a change that was needed, but it certainly is different, right? Thinking new thoughts is actually not one of my strong points. I have kind of cemented things in my mind and to me, 'that's how it should be.' Are we always right? Where do our unwavering convictions come from? Is change of thought even possible? "Why are you always right?" My son Sam asked me one day. "

Kill the Umps!

On Friday, with the bases loaded and the Suck Sux down one to the 27-time World Champion Greatest Franchise in the History of Organized American Sports,David Ortiz took a 3-1 pitch (that was actually a strike) and then he went absolutely batshit because he thought it was a ball. The ump didn't throw him out of the game. But the next pitch may have been a ball... ...and the ump punched out the big PED cheat who was never called on it. The Suck Sux manager went nuts and got tossed. Ortiz came running back out and finally got tossed. The Yankees won. Theeeee Yankeeeeeeeessssss won! Which was nice. On Monday night Bryce Harper got punched out and he thought it was a ball. He got tossed. Then he gave the ump a "F&*% You!" Listen, I'm not arguing that the umps don't deserve some angst...Billy Martin and Early Weaver and Sweet Lou Pinella were entertaining when they dressed down the umps. But there is a whole lot of complaining.... ...afte

What's Going On?

Dwayne Wade continued to shoot baskets as the Canadian National Anthem was being played . What was he thinking? Imagine if a Canadian player did that while the American anthem was being played. Americans would be screaming for him to be tossed from the league. The Bills are thinking of bringing Ray Lewis in as a coach. He can stare longingly at Orenthal's name on the Ring of Honor. He should fit right in, right? Ozzy Osbourne and his wife Sharon are giving up on marriage after 33 years? I can't believe that Ozzy was cheating. He appears barely conscious to me. Had some good tunes though. Good luck, kids. Paul Ryan is fighting with Trump Will there be a unified front presented? Or will The Donald just tell them all to go to hell? Should be fun as hell either way. David Ortiz hit 3 more homers against the Yankees this weekend. Now I'm not for braining people, but why don't they throw inside on him? He hangs over the plate like he's

Airlines Suck

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I was seated in the airport for what was supposed to be a very quick layover. Less than an hour! Then I would be home. Earlier than I thought! I glanced at the departure board and saw a word flash next to my flight: CANCELED "What?" Yet...I had a backup flight out...they had actually handed me two boarding passes...just in case. I was still good. I just had to wait an extra hour. Twenty minutes later...that flight was also: CANCELED "Now what?" I headed to the American Airlines desk. "We're closed," the woman behind the desk said. She was eating something. "Where do I go?" "A36," she said. "Where is that?" She pointed...went back...to what she was eating. It was three concourses away. I walked...and walked..and walked...and that's what I saw when I arrived. There were three hundred of us in line! I had another problem. My bag...which didn't have to be checked...was checked.

Happy Mother's Day!

The love of a Mom is a tangible force. It's actually one of the greatest, strongest bonds in all of the universe. I know this for a couple of reasons. My Mommy, of course. I asked Mom recently about what it was like when we were all young ... ..."How bad was it?" "It was challenging," she said. "You guys were brutal." But her eyes told the truth. She loved every second of it. Still does. And she is an unbelievable Mom!!! Cut to when my kids were young. There were days when I'd leave for work with my last image of the morning would be the kids surrounding Kathy... ...and I'd return home and they'd all be in the same spot. 15 years later and it's exactly the same. "Where's Mom?" "I need Mom." So, I have been blessed to be a witness to the most powerful of all love... ...all of my life! Happy Mother's Day! It's a lifetime job, of course, but I know all the greatest Mom

Trump V Clinton

Admit it... ...you didn't think it was possible, did you? And now you're gonna hear the "neither one is worth a crap" statement about 5,000 times between now and November and the nicknames and the name-calling is going to be off the hook as the kids used to say. I'm worn out. I really am. I'm waiting for Donald to announce who his running mate will be, but beyond that it's grown stale. Does Donald ask Little Marco? Or Lying Ted? Chris Christie has already swallowed his pride and is now at the right hand of the man he called a fraud...will all the others bend too? And will Hiliary stop shrieking when she speaks? She's a little like listening to your least favorite Aunt babble on... ...can you imagine 4 years of that? And what will Bill do as he roams around the White House with few responsibilities? That could get real ugly. So many questions... ...so much at stake... ...and the game show is just beginning!

Airplane Fun!

I had a decent seat. I was at the front of the plane -8th row - and would be able to get off the plane quickly enough once we landed in New Hampshire. I was also seated next to a smallish Asian woman who gave me a big smile as I sat down. She was at the window, (my preferred spot) but it didn't matter. I had enough leg room. A Asian man across the aisle leaned across me to speak (in rapid-fire Chinese) to the woman beside me. He was actually leaning on me a bit and I flashed a look of annoyance that made him step back. It was then I realized that of the ten or so people in the immediate seating area I was the only non-Asian. Which meant nothing to me. I put my Yankees headphones on and closed my eyes. A few minutes later, I felt a pat on my right arm. I opened my eyes and the woman was holding a large tumbler up and saying something. (I don't speak Chinese). But it appeared that she wanted a drink of some sort. Then she said, very clearly: "Juice.&quo

He's Not A Pedophile!

Hunter Osborn, who is a football player and a senior at a high school in Arizona, pulled a prank. While they were taking the yearbook photo he flashed the camera. A front shot. It was a small photo. His prank went unnoticed by everyone, including the editor. They put the photo in the yearbook and it went out. The yearbook was delivered to minors. For that, Osborn is facing some major trouble. He has been charged with 69 counts (they couldn't find one more or one less?) Including a felony! The kid feels awful. Some people in town are rallying behind him. Others are talking about hanging him. Almost everyone agrees that it is going to be stuck to his name for a long, long time. Stop it! He's not a pedophile and shouldn't have to identify as one for the rest of his life. I've known some pranksters in my day. I certainly have known a number of people who might have actually tried such a stunt. Back in my day... ...if caught there would have been so

Baseball Bad Behavior

I attack the NFL and their bad apples... ...and will continue to do so, but I have to bend a little here and throw some crap where it belongs... ...at a few players in the greatest game ever invented. My boys are still raging at me about Aroldis Chapman, the new reliever for the Yankees. He hasn't pitched yet because he's serving 30 games (or the equivalent of letting air out of the football) for shooting his gun empty following a fight with his girlfriend. There was also talk that he put his hands on her too, but Chapman has fervently denied it. Another guy who is denying hitting his girl is former All-Star Jose Reyes. He has been suspended indefinitely...and may get the whole year off. Last year's leading hitter in the National League is sitting for 80 games for steroid use. Chris Colabello (who just got cut from my fantasy team) also got an 80-game ban. And now... ...Carlos Martinez, a pitcher for the St.Louis Cardinals is being sued for... ...get this.

The Wire

We finally got access to the show The Wire. I know. We're about ten years late to the party, but I know what all the fuss was about. It's a really good show. For years and years we kinda' sat around thinking that television sucked because it wasn't anything more than game shows and reality shows... ...but one series after another is great. The Wire takes a little time to develop the characters and that's where the investment of time becomes worthwhile. Yet I wonder how much of the show is actually true to life. I am pretty cognizant of the fact that there are drugs, gangs, murders and all kinds of other forms of torture on the streets. And it saddens me when I think that there are thousands and thousands of kids on the street who don't see another way out. The Wire is based in Baltimore, but I'm sure the scene plays out in almost every city in the country. The sad part of the show is that we have been going around the house speaking in

Smoking Pot While Wearing A Gas Mask...

... might hurt you as you start your career. Who hasn't seen the photo of Laremy Tunsil, the new Miami Dolphins football player? Just before the draft a photo of Tunsil with a bong and a gas mask surfaced. They are saying that the photo cost him about $13 million as his draft stock slipped. That's an expensive post. The NFL Draft is interesting to me for one reason: It allows me to look up the arrest and disciplinary records of the new guys coming to town. "Armed robbery?" He said he was sorry. "Drug bust?" He was in a room where other people were smoking. "Domestic violence?" His step-father was asking for it. Ahhh...God Bless the new millionaires...I'm sure it'll work out fine. Every GM in every town tells their fan base: "This is the guy we wanted! We would've taken him in the first round!!" And the fans eat it up! "Perfect draft! We're gonna' be a force!!" But back to Tunsil.

Wake Up Yankees!!!

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Years ago I was listening to an interview with Uncle George Steinbrenner. He said that he put money into the team because he loved Yankee fans. "The fans have a better day when the Yankees win," he said. And that's undeniably true around Camp Clifford. For me, Sam and Kathy. The other nitwits are happy when the Yankees lose. (So are a few of my idiot friends). So far this year the nitwits and idiots are happier than the baseball geniuses. LET'S GO!!! The games haven't been a whole lot of fun to watch so far: Two guys get on and then Chase Headley hits into a double play. A guy gets over to first with just one out... ...and Chase Headley strikes out on three pitches. And the MRI's!! Stop with the freaking MRI's!! It takes an act of God to get an MRI for a real medical problem but if A-Rod feels a twinge when he's hitting off a tee...he sits for 5 days after his MRI comes back clean. And the pitching hasn't been great