Thoughts of a Common Man

In another episode of time flies… …today is the anniversary of our wedding day. Twenty-Six Years ago, we stood in centerfield at the North Collins Town Park and we vowed to stay together. Through thick and thin. It really rained hard that day. All day long! Every Springsteen song ever was played at the reception and we set off on a hell of an experience. A baby arrived two weeks later! Which prompted me to say: “We don’t even have the thank-you cards out from the wedding!” Jake was sick early in his life and we battled through together. We suffered through death of our loved ones. But we also laughed a lot through the years and shared so many great days. A lot goes into a long-term marriage. We watched a lot of couples fall by the way side and I guess the words of Bruce in our wedding song was the overriding theme. “I’ll wait for you, and should I fall behind, wait for me.” A beautiful sentiment that is not always so easily achieved. Each person lags behind from time-to-time. That’s ju

The sun was the star of the weekend. I played two rounds of golf and the yard looks all right. The ball was bouncing around the backyard as well as we worked on getting 1,000 catches in for Ollie. I usually throw him 75 at a time so that was a lot of trips to the ball field. He got burned out from time-to-time and at one point was walking the ball back to me. He had to go down for a bit of a nap. And there is an old saying. “Sleep when the baby sleeps,” so we laid low during those times and watched some great television. The end of ‘Succession’ was bittersweet - was such a good series even though they’re a tough crowd to root for. They were abysmal people, and in my experience… …people who are wealthy and had it handed to them are a bit of a pill. The story appeared loosely based on the Murdoch family, and I wonder how far off base it was. The attitudes that the wealthy members of the family had for the common people was horrific. That probably is pretty accurate. We also watched the f

  I never even considered joining the military. In fact, I was a little mystified that men would go off and fight and die. Maybe it was growing up during the Viet Nam War that made me question it all at such a young age, but the mere thought of fighting people I didn’t know in a faraway jungle just confused me. But as I got older, I studied history a bit, and the photo above is the romanticized version of war. That’s a great photo - a soldier returning home to greet a child. The men and women who died in all the wars were doing it for the men fighting beside them and an abstract notion of country. Our freedoms are worth fighting for. We are grateful. I went from confused to understanding back to confused again because there are internal threats to our freedoms now and they’re being sort of ignored. As an adult, one other thing, the most aggravating thing to me is fake patriotism. A guy hugging a flag, for instance, as he tramples what it stands for. Those men fought for and died for al

A few weeks ago we went to North Collins for dinner. Josif’s is the restaurant in the center of the village and it used to be Speedy’s - our old stomping grounds bar - where I did a lot of drinking after softball games and in days that ended in Y. When I walked in I thought about my 18th birthday and doing shots with my buddy Jeff. I could barely stand and he was showing zero signs of intoxication. The next day he told me that he was tossing the shot over his shoulder after we did the toast. That’s what I thought about when I walked in and it made me smile. Then I looked around the near capacity restaurant. I didn’t know a person there! This week, I drove out to visit Mom and I went the long way around, down Shirley Road. I passed by the home of a childhood friend who died young. I drove through intersections where horrific accidents claimed lives. The kid up the road had been struck on his bike - was just five years old when he died as a result of his injuries. I saw the world through

They were interviewing a baseball player during the inning of the Yankee game and as the reporters thanked him for his time he said: “‘Preciate you.” That’s one of the sayings that I’ve been hearing a lot. “I appreciate you.” People are saying it at stores and restaurants and as a way of saying goodbye, I guess. The first couple of times I heard it I thought that it was a nice thing to say. But as sayings go, they get worn out the more they’re said. Got me thinking about some of the sayings that drive me crazy. “You can’t have your cake and eat it too.” Hate it! What the hell else are you supposed to do with it? You can have it but you can’t eat it? That saying has its origin back to like the 1920’s! One that seems more recent, and is similarly aggravating, is: “It is what it is.” I know a few people who will say that thirty times in a five minute conversation. It’s usually said during a hopeless situation. It doesn’t mean a damn thing! A guy I know had his wife of like 20 years walk o

Insane. My Dad tried to explain to me that life passes in what seems like a blink of an eye. I have said the same thing to my boys about a hundred times now. Matt turned 30 years old today. Blink of an eye? It’s absurd! We used to play video games back when he was about three years old. He would beat me in basketball and it would irritate me to no end because he was finding the shooter every time down the floor. Back then, there weren’t any faces on the players. It was just a little shape with their name underneath. “How do you keep getting the ball to Jordan?” I screamed. He pointed to the name. “You can’t read!” And Matt was always the smartest kind around here. Except when he walked into walls, or forgot to chew, or tripped over something. He was also the most sensitive and cautious, or should I say, wimpy. He once took an aspirin and a cold tablet and thought it would kill him. He was in tears, wondering if he had overdosed. He was about 18 at the time. And now, he’s thirty and pre

Had an impromptu meeting with a few veterans of the construction industry. We are all in our mid-to-late 50’s and are all in supervision of sorts. “We can’t yell at them anymore,” the lead foreman said. “I got called on the carpet for telling a kid to move his ass.” Which brought a few chuckles and a number of stories. “I had a carpenter boss who threw a hard hat at me,” I said. “Hit me right in the ass. Called me a f**king idiot.” Which brought a question. “Did it hurt your feelings?” The owner of a large business asked. “No, I laughed,” I said. “I deserved it.” “You must’ve been a real mess as a worker,” the foreman said. “Did you work or bust balls all day?” “Both,” I said. Another story. “I was working as a carpenter’s helper. He used to make me go get a hammer. The tool box was about a mile away. I handed him the hammer and he’s say, ‘Go get me a level.’” They all laughed. The carpenter was abusing me for fun. “I got back at him,” I said. “He was framing a unit and he was sweating

I’m trying to figure out how many sport star interviews I’ve watched in my days. I caught the interview with LeBron James after the hapless Lakers were swept out of the playoffs. James is a good interview and always answers the questions directly, but I could pretty much answer the questions for him. “We left it all out there. You have to hand it to them. That’s a good team over there.” They asked about next year. “I have to take time and think things over.” He was asked if he might actually retire, and he was cryptic with his answer. “I have a lot of thinking to do.” I’ll answer for him: He has two years left that will pay him $95 million. He isn’t retiring. But more than that the interviews that span a couple of years are even more comical. The Bills had a playoff game last year. Going into  the game they all spoke about how close the team is and how well prepared they were to go to battle. They got hammered. Now we hear from the same guys. “We just weren’t prepared and maybe we were

Michael Block played in the PGA Championship and he went 70-70-70-71. He finished 15th. Now, Block has made his money in golf as a club pro, but he captured a lot of imaginations over the weekend because he isn’t on the tour. Golfers who play on the weekends were rooting for him because he kind of reminded the weekend warrior as one of us. He did well in the interviews and man, he had some moments. On Sunday he took his tee shot on 15 and literally dunked it for a hole in one. It didn’t bounce and roll. Freaking thing went from the face of his club directly to the bottom of the hole… …which I find insane. I’ve played golf for 42 years. Still don’t have an ace, although I’ve been close a number of times. The closest being less than an inch away. Still irritates me. All golfers dream about putting it all together during a round. We dream of doing what Michael Block did this past weekend. It’s such a crazy game. My nephew made a startling revelation. “When I’m playing golf, nothing else i

I was listening to 80’s on 8 yesterday afternoon. Alan Hunter talked about the USA for Africa movement and the song that brought all the musicians together to raise money for Africa. ‘We Are the World’ is a good song and I love it because I recall running home from a college class to watch the video. 1985. I considered that we won’t see something like that ever happen again because people are too busy being selfish about every damn thing. I got home and checked Twitter - there was a post about Ukraine and aid going there. There was pure hate attached to the post. People don’t feel that we should be helping anyone - ever. Which is a huge change from how the world reacted back in ‘85. We are in the midst of a budget fight that may end up in the U.S.A. defaulting on our debt. That sounds lovely! And it’s not even worth worrying about. It’s a huge political game. They’ll reach a deal that destroys a lot of what means something to the people who get up and go to work every damn day. “There’

In 1986 I lived in San Jose. I was there for 8 months and it didn’t rain once! Try that. You will miss the rain. Now, most of the time you pray that it doesn’t rain. We did that for our wedding day some 27 years ago. We even put rosary beads in the bushes. (Don’t ask me why!) There was a monsoon that day. I never want it to rain from 8 a.m. until about 1 p.m. on Sunday during the summer so I can golf. I must confess that my legs felt heavy all week long, and by Friday afternoon I was checking the weather for Saturday… …hoping for rain. I wanted off my feet and I didn’t want to be tempted to work around the house or mow the lawn. It wasn’t raining early and I got a game in with Ollie, but then it got good and dark and the sound of the rain picked up my spirits. That’s the thing about getting a little older. You look forward to going to bed. You almost dread phone calls that ask you to do something.  I remember being a young man and getting a little irritated with my Dad because he never

Little children were interviewed for the 20/20 story about the one-year anniversary of the mass shooting at Robb Elementary in Uvalde, Texas. Excuse me, for my insensitive question, but: What the hell are we doing? Teachers who’ve been maimed. Moms and Dads mourning their children, who never got the chance to live a life. “There were hundreds of shots in a matter of minutes.” An 18-year old kid walked into a gun store and legally purchased that weapon of war. No questions asked. Then that obviously mentally impaired man walked into a freaking elementary school and obliterated so many lives. At the onset of the show the reporter said: “It’s been a year since the world changed.” It didn’t change! And everyone there was wearing a shirt that said: “Uvalde Strong.” We’ve had strong added to hundreds of cities across this once-great nation. It’s absolutely sickening. And a year later, we watch a show about it. That’s the best we can do. The parents of those children speak about how they don’

I was sitting in a meeting with OSHA. My phone buzzed. I hit the message to decline the call. Messaged the guy to give me ten. Buzzed again. Text from the guy sitting across from me at the meeting. As I was reading it, my phone buzzed again - another client. Sent him to voicemail. Went back to the text and two texts from Kathy came through. “Bah!” I said. Everyone in the meeting looked up. “Want to throw this freaking thing out the window.” Within a half an hour, I took the tally. 5 missed calls and 6 texts. Six hours later, I was throwing the ball for Oliver. He had zero clue that I’d spent the entire day pushing an elephant up the stairs. He didn’t care either. All he was worried about was catching the next ball off the garage. I felt a little better about the world, but thought about how bad a day it was, but not for me. I had to investigate another bad accident and I met with a couple of sons who rescued their Dad - for now - from a bad situation. It’s going to be a long recovery i

MJT is getting divorced. So is Boebart. She has a bunch of kids and is a grandma to be in her 30’s. The former guy has had 3 marriages and the well-publicized dalliances with sexual assault (verified by the courts) and with a porn star. Rudy has had a hell of a personal life, including marrying and divorcing a cousin, and is now being sued by an employee who is claiming that he made her work naked, and perform some truly horrifying acts. And in the run up to the election we will hear all about how they cherish the sanctity of marriage and the good old means-nothing-when-they-say-it family values. They don’t want gays to be married because marriage is sacred! Meanwhile the divorce tally is through the roof over there. And life is hard. Marriages are a crap shoot. Lots of people feel content to just bail when it becomes challenging. When we were watching the Michael J. Fox movie we marveled at the strength of his wife, Tracy. “In sickness and in health,” Tracy said when Fox told her of t

Heard some news about a 21-year old union Mason who lost his life in a motorcycle accident. The men who worked as part of his crew were absolutely heartbroken. “I worked with him on Friday. He was a great kid. Twenty-four hours later he was gone.” There have been way too many young deaths of construction workers here in Western New York.  Faces that I’m used to seeing no longer here. On Sunday, as we finished the front nine, Pops got a message. He passed along the shocking news of a death of one of our childhood friends. “What?” I asked. He repeated the news. “That’s horrible,” I said. A man who lost his life in his early 50’s. Way too young. Way too sad. And that’s the thing. There are no guarantees. We don’t know the number of days we will get, and it’s so cliche to say: “Live every moment.” But it’s a cliche because it’s true. When I lost a construction buddy suddenly last year, I thought back to the hundreds of interactions we’d had with one another. We had always laughed. Never a

At 8:00 on Sunday evening I raised my sore body off the couch to find the damn dog. He had raced in, grabbed something, and raced back outside. I came around the corner of the house and noticed a couple of things: 1). Ollie was digging a hole. 2). I had surprised him - his eyes were like saucers. 3). He had Humpy (named for obvious reasons) beside the hole. (Humpy is a 3’ caterpillar). He was digging a big hole. He was burying his former lover! And the weekend was wild for Ollie - he caught 520 balls off the garage from me. Sam threw him another 200. We had a window replaced and the facia finally completely replaced. I put down mulch. Played a round of golf (still not in complete sync - but getting there). Visited with Mom. Took Kathy to dinner on Saturday and made her dinner, did laundry and vacuumed on Sunday. And for a couple of glorious hours on Saturday when I picked up my phone I got the message: “I-Phone Unavailable for 59 minutes.” Which, of course, sent off panic alarms. I can

I’m a kid from the 1980’s. Michael J. Fox was arguably the biggest star of the decade. We went to the movies on great dates to see Michael J. Fox in ‘Back to the Future’ and ‘Teen Wolf.’ He was Alex P. Keaton! Everyone loved him. And then he got stricken with Parkinson’s and there was a collective groan across the entertainment world. I’ve touched base with his life and have watched him slowly deteriorate. But in his communications with the world since he’s been stricken, Fox has been positive. His books are great. I went to a celebrity hockey game when I wrote ‘Counting On A Miracle’ and Michael J. Fox scored a goal. He was already slowing down then, but he walked and talked fairly normally then. He was still appearing in shows, so the world took a breath. He was going to be all right. About two weeks ago, we saw an interview with Fox on a morning show, and his appearance was shocking. But he’s still in there! And he’s still battling. He said that Parkinson’s is the gift that keeps on

Ollie has turned my backyard into a baseball field. His constant running back and forth to catch the ball has ruined the grass. I tried turning the soil over and putting some seed down - don’t see much coming in. Ollie has turned our fence into something that looks like a prison. He is adept at digging below it and slipping out so I had to line everything with landscaping bricks. They’re heavy! If I had razor wire I might try that. And last night I push mowed the lawn but it was a little thick…the mower kept stalling and I had to yank the rope about 50 times. Got a call from my neighbor. “You’re working too hard out there. Is your mower old?” “I’m old!” I answered. And we needed facia work and a new window installed at the third floor. I wasn’t doing that work! Hired a couple of carpenter buddies and they’ve done a great job. Next up is probably painting the garage again. The weather side takes a beating. And why do I bring it all up? Cause it’s tiring! We got to the first tee last wee

I had a ride-along yesterday with a road gang as they set up traffic signs and cones on a harrowing stretch of road in a rural county. The man driving the attenuator vehicle was talkative as we headed out before 7 a.m. The first thing he said was, “When I get up at 5 in the morning the only people I see in the lobby are guys wearing the construction uniform.” “Yep. We start working when people are still asleep.” The sun was shining, the grass was covered with dew. We set off down the road in the big vehicle and almost immediately a deer ran in front of us. Bill deftly slowed and switched gears. “Get across there, baby,” he said. We spoke about the dangers of being out in the roadway to work. Bill shifted gears, literally and figuratively. “Few more years, for me,” he said. “I’m sixty-two. Still love the work and the friendships, but my body is breaking down.” Bill pulled to the side of the road and jumped down off the truck to slow down the approaching traffic as his co-workers set out

The New Hampshire Town Hall was a bad idea that turned out much worse than imagined. There was zero chance that I would watch it in real time, but I wondered if Katelyn Collins would push back on the lies. She tried. But he lied right over her attempt to beat him over the head with facts. And it’s like watching a punch-weary fighter. Eventually, she was bound to get buried under the avalanche of lies because they simply keep on coming, and normal people just want to move on. Yet, what truly doomed CNN here is that he should’ve never been invited on. He was behind the insurrection and while he hasn’t yet been held to account there are a lot of his followers in prison because of what happened that sad day. He should’ve been disqualified because of that. Yet, there was also the fraud case. His company was found guilty of all sorts of fraud. That should stop people from believing his lies. It’s all fraud. Instead, he raised money off of it, and still received the CNN invitation. Did anyone

So, I have a new vehicle already. One of the advantages of spending 30 years with someone is that the roles are well-defined. Kathy found a half-dozen vehicles that she knew would be good for me to slide right into. She was also well aware that too much change all at once causes quite the mess in my mind. The scene was set. I headed off to work in her vehicle which is monumental enough for me in the change department and she caught an Uber to the car dealership. By 2:00 she said, “We’ve made a decision.” It was actually the one I’d had at the top of the list last night, and she drove it and was convinced. “What do I have to do?” “Sign and pay,” she said. “They’ll work with your schedule.” I drove the broken-down vehicle to the dealership (it barely made it) and removed my Springsteen seat covers and Yankee floor mats. I didn’t say more than 30 words at the dealership, and signed my name 40 times and then we got into the car. I didn’t have my E-Z-Pass or my satellite radio. There was an

I put new tires on my Escape, and also replaced a whee bearing. Made my last payment. Had a thought that I wanted to get to two-hundred-thousand miles. And then, I decided to make the Monday morning run to Salamanca. Coffee in hand, 80’s on 8 on the radio. I was listening to a story about Billy Joel and then they played “Uptown Girl.” Was thinking about Christie Brinkley. Had a passing thought: “It’s foggy.” Then I glanced in the rear view mirror. “Uh-oh.” The car was on cruise for 72 mph. I was only going 64 then 62 then 58. “Bah!” I was a lot closer to Salamanca… …kept going. I visited the site but not before a true panic moment. The brakes weren’t power brakes anymore. I had to stand on them to pull into the parking spot. There was a cop on-site at the school. A young, woman officer.. “Your car is on fire,” she said, laughing. “Hysterical,” I said. “Somehow I have to get it back to Buffalo.” “You aren’t gonna’ make it,” she said, laughing some more. I wasn’t even sure I was going to

The shooting in Texas? I heard about it and made an immediate decision to just skip it. I scrolled by the details. I ignored Ted and Heidi telling us how they’re fervently praying. Skipped the ‘it’s mental health!’ Or doors, or ‘soft targets’, or ‘forks don’t make you fat’ or ‘what about cars?’ morons. I can do without all of that. And as a thoughtful citizen of America… …I felt a little like a selfish coward. But it’s clear to me: The argument is pointless. A portion of the citizenry has decided: “Your death doesn’t concern me. I want my weapons of war.” And that is sad in and of itself, but it isn’t representative of how the majority of the country feels. An overwhelming majority of Americans want this to stop by any means necessary. DO SOMETHING! But the decision-makers in certain states have sold their votes. Thoughts and prayers? Please. Claiming to pray for something that you have the power to change isn’t anything more than a lie. So, I scroll on by. I did see one comment by a c

Was scrolling Twitter yesterday and saw a post about the graduation ceremony at Gannon University. Has it really been 37 years? Wondering what 21-year old me would’ve thought about how it played out for 58-year old me. He would’ve laughed at my physical condition and my current hair situation. But back to 1986. We were thrown out of our campus housing just a week before graduation. It was a misunderstanding about a few kegs, missing legs on a kitchen table and three or four broken windows. I was trying to clean it up when the landlord used his key to open the door. “I want you out! The police are on the way. You have until 5:00.” Out we went. Into the woods. We camped out, our cars filled with all of our belongings. “What is your address again?” Mom asked on the morning that I was set to graduate. “Meet me at the Auditorium,” I said. “We are coming in early. I’ll stop by your apartment.” “Uhhhhhh.” And I remember that I had a shot of Jack Daniels after o put on my cap and gown. It hit

It seems like every single day we hear something insane about Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas. There are notes for payoffs of $25 grand for his wife, who is a beauty in her own regard. Ginni Thomas was all over the January 6th mess as she allegedly tried to help arrange the coup. Someone paid for Thomas’ grandkid to go to a private school…big money. Then, of course, there were the million dollar vacations that went undeclared as gifts. Will there ever be an accounting for any of it? I just find it so unbelievable! There are questions about Kavanaugh and how all of his debts were paid off. What amazes me about all of it is that there is a portion of the population that gets all upset about social programs like food stamps or welfare. They hold people like Kavanaugh and Thomas in high regard as these so-called self-made men who pulled themselves up by the boot straps. The amount of money being ripped off at the top of the food chain could pay for housing and food for thousands and

Jordan Neeley was a mentally disturbed man who had serious troubles with the law and with reality. He also spent time on the subway cars of New York singing Michael Jackson songs to entertain people. The other day he entered a subway car and was in a breakdown of sorts and was screaming. Perhaps annoying some of the other passengers. I’m thinking that if I was on the ride, I’d be annoyed. I might even move to another car. More than likely, I would’ve ignored the man. One thing I definitely wouldn’t have done is put him into a chokehold until he could no longer take another breath. A 24-year-old ex-marine grabbed Neeley and held on - right there on the floor of the car - until Neeley died. There’s a video of the whole scene and it has been watched and replayed and shared and rewatched. Thousands and thousands of times. And the worst part of it all is that there are two sides to what is nothing more than a murder. People who are arguing in defense of the ex-marine are quick to point out

Sarah Chalke should win an award or two. She kind of stole the show from Katherine Heigl, but they were both good. It’s a story about friendship and it drives me crazy that stories are no longer told in chronological order, but they jumped back and forth pretty smoothly, and I was amazed that Chalke looked good at 30 and at 50-something as she was at the end. And the series made me few nostalgic as they went through high school years and trials and tribulations that present themselves in those years. And then there were marriages and kids and sickness and health. “They didn’t need to make it so sad,” Kathy said as we went through one of the last episodes. “That’s life,” I said. “Everything crumbles.” And of course, that’s a tough thing when you’re looking to be entertained, but it’s worth it when it’s done well enough. Life can certainly grind things down, but love and friendships survive even though we sometimes don’t see buddies for awhile because we are stuck in the house here in Bu

Bob Dylan once said that he feels like he could listen to the Gordon Lightfoot song he’s listening to forever. I find that to be true. Don’t know many people who don’t sing along with Sundown, Carefree Highway or If You Could Read My Mind. I love Gordon for sure and have a bunch of his songs on my devices. I own his CD’s and cassettes. “Her name was Ann and I’ll be damned if I recall her face. She left me not knowing what to do.”  I absolutely love that line. Lightfoot was the mere definition of a singer-songwriter and when I heard that he passed away at 84, I was instantly saddened because we have lost a bunch of the guys that I’ve listened to for hours and hours and hours. Ric Ocasek and Ben Orr from the Cars.  Tom Petty. David Bowie. Eddie Money. Even Prince. And I think about the day when Frank Sinatra died. He was my Dad’s idol. I remember asking Dad if he was sad. “Of course,” he said. “I felt like I knew him.” I certainly get that. And thinking about Gordon Lightfoot, I thought

I know! Thanks for all the reminders. The Yankees got lambasted on Sunday, as every single team will do a couple of times a year in a 162-game season. They have played poorly mainly because… …there’s no one playing right now! Judge, Stanton, Donaldson, Bader, Rodon, Sevy, Loisaga… …all injured! Here’s the deal, if you grimace you get a vacation. Swing too swiftly… …you need a rest day. They rested Volpe this week. He’s 21 years old! At 21 I’d stay out until 3 or 4 and go to work pouring concrete at 7. I didn’t get a day. And when they do this they’re basically unwatchable. They have half the Triple-A squad in the every day lineup. There’s a reason they’re in Triple A. So, they’re losing. But, here’s the thing: The season isn’t over. There are 133 games left. Someday soon, the tight hammys will loosen up and the regular, high-paid dudes will be in there. In the meantime, I have fielded all the calls, responded to all the texts, and laughed at some of the Facebook posts sent to my attent