Thoughts of a Common Man

I got the Super Bowl champ right last year: The Patriots. So, let’s see what happens with my prognosticating this year. Last year, I also did not have the Bills qualifying for the playoffs last year... ...so what about this year? Off we go!!! The division winners in the AFC will be: Patriots, Browns, Titans and Chiefs. The division winners in the NFC will be: Eagles, Vikings, Saints and Rams. There are two wild card entries in each league and this is where it gets hairy. Bills fans who don’t think they will upend the Patriots to win the division are absolutely sure of the wild card spot. Not me. Now, I’m not being contrary here. I just don’t feel confident in it. Allen is a great running back. I don’t know if he will ever be a great quarterback. He seems like a good kid, and he’s a better athlete than Jeff Popple, but can he be accurate enough? They’ll be in the hunt, but I’m saying the two AFC wild card spots go to: Chargers and Steelers. In the NFC, I wi

They did a study of what a date costs. It’s broken down by state. Here in New York State we won: $297.97 That’s the cost of the average date in New York! North Dakota came in last at $42 and change. Who the hell is spending $300 on a date? Last week, we went out to dinner. It cost me $28.00 and I had a trio of burritos. Here in Buffalo, $297 would get you dinner, a movie and a hotel room. That’s a good date. I did spend a whole lot more on date night on Broadway. The Bruce tickets were $800, and we drove there and the hotel was another $250. 2 shots at the venue were $72. So, you can see how things could get skewed. I don’t think that a $1,000 date night is even possible in North Dakota. When I read the study I also immediately thought about some of the dates we went on in high school. It’s a famous story, but only because it’s true. My buddy Jeff and I would take a couple of lucky girls to the movies, and then we’d drop them off and turn right around an

Can you believe that Puerto Rico has the audacity to be in the path of another hurricane? I guess they just want that free FEMA help. I mean what place wouldn’t want to get blasted and have their homes blasted again? They must have cleaned up from the last one, right? Yet, the worst part about the Trump tweet storm throwing hate all over the poor people in the path of the hurricane was that he attacked them. This guy is corrupt. They’re stupid. We gave them too much help last time! Remember when he tossed paper towels as if he were shooting free throws? Still, I’ve come to expect the low class behavior, but lately he’s been referring to himself in the 3rd person. “President Trump is Puerto Rico’s beat friend.” It’s all so embarrassing. Those people are worried about surviving and he’s throwing jabs. I honestly don’t think he knows that Puerto Rico is a part of our country. “It’s an island,” he schooled us after the last one. “Very hard to get to because ther

Andrew Luck, the very good quarterback of the Colts, shocked the football world by announcing his retirement. He’s twenty-nine years old, and he doesn’t have to worry much about making his pension money stretch out over the course of his retirement because he has millions and millions and the Colts don’t want any back. Rob Gronkowski, Barry Sanders and Calvin Johnson all walked away from the sport young... ...all due to the fact that they want to stay healthy. I don’t blame the guy. My goal in life has always been the desire to get a nap every day if I want one... ...Luck can do that now. Of course, Luck is getting bashed by some people, and some of the Colts fan are burning his jersey in protest. The news broke during one of the Colts pre-seasons game and Luck was booed. I say, God Bless him. He wants to be healthy, and he’s already been hammered through the years. Shoulder, hip, ankle, back and neck. A long while ago, I had a conversation with Jim Kelly, the Bill

“Nuns run bald, through Vatican Halls, pregnant, pleading immaculate conception.” I haven’t seen many nuns lately, but every single time I do, I think of the above, Bruce lyric. Back about 47 years ago, nuns were prominently featured in my life. Not so much anymore, but I did see one in line at Starbucks in the Kansas City airport. I’m not one for Starbucks, usually, but the KC airport is tiny and there are limited choices. Anywhoha... There was the nun. She looked to be about 35, and she was wearing all the garb. Long dark gown, rosary necklace and a habit. I wondered if she were bald underneath. She had a pretty face, and she smiled at me. I said, “Hi” back. Wondered if she would’ve offered me that smile had she known how many beatings I took at the hands of the sisters. You see, back then, nuns were my mortal enemy. They didn’t much care for smart-mouth kids and I had a smart mouth. I imagine that there are nuns teaching children somewhere, but in my mind, I

There were reports that Donald didn’t want to go. He’s battling with China, but loves them. Every half hour he tweets to tell us that everyone is coming up to him to congratulate him on how wonderful he is and how unfair the fake news is. There was a photo of him looking down at his feet as Melania leaned in to kiss the prime minister of Canada. I saw a clip of him grabbing Boris Johnson so he didn’t fall down the stairs. And it’s all so annoying. “We’re working hard here!” He’s always “working hard”. Doing a lot of very important things. “We’ll see what happens.” And Japan was worried about North Korea, but the missles being tested are good ones because Donald got a beautiful letter from the murderous dictator. Yet, all of it was upstaged by news that Trump wanted to drop nukes on coming hurricanes. Why not? This is actually real life. What a mess.

The title of my post today is my standard answer when someone yells at me for snoring. Through the years, I’ve played in a golf tourney with a bunch of good friends and we have a cool package all set up, but there’s trouble because we end up sharing a room. We had an odd number of people. “If there’s a single,” I said. “I’ll take my own room.” Yet, another guy had already jumped on it. I was gonna’ have a roomie. After the Friday round and a big dinner at a great Italian place, I was pretty tired. The Yankees game was just starting. Everyone else went for a drink. I hung out with ice on my back. Started to nod off. My roomie came in, and promptly fell asleep. I wasn’t too far behind. Fell asleep right after the Didi grand slam. At 1:30, I heard shouting. “Roll over!” I rolled over. At 3:00, I heard the door open and close. “Where are you going?” I called out. “I can’t sleep,” he said. I went back to sleep. Ah well. Showed up for breakfast. My

I like to set my alarm for a half an hour before I get out of bed... ...which can be pretty early, actually. As I laid in bed on Friday morning, reading the news, and stretching everything out, I felt the chill in the air from the open window beside me. Damn! Melky was asleep through all of it, of course, but that chill got to me. It’s still just the tale-end of August, but the summer’s end is on the horizon... ...and that’s depressing! Last year, golf ended in early October, and the clubs just sat there until late May! That’s a long, cold, lonely stretch. I like watching the neighbors do things in their yards and walk their dogs. I rather enjoy not being cold all the time. And it’s my own fault, actually. I’ve chosen to live here. The snow will fly soon. The chill in the air will be there for a long-ass stretch. Ah well... ...not yet! Have you seen my ball?

You gotta’ admire Larry King’s optimism. At 85-years-old he filed for divorce from his wife of 22 years. He said that he wasn’t happy, and after a health scare, he decided that he deserves the chance to be happy again. Do I smell another marriage coming? Does he even remember all of the names of his previous wives? His current wife, Shawn, is given the boot because they’ve been fighting all the time. I’ve always enjoyed listening to him and years ago he wrote a newspaper column that I read constantly. He’d write things like: “I don’t care what anyone else thinks, lobster is good!” When news of divorce number 7 broke, Larry was on television. As soon as I saw him, I laughed. “What?” Kathy asked. “What happened to the food?” I said. Kathy knew what I was talking about because I told her the story before. Good old Larry was interviewing a woman who’d been raped. “We stopped at Burger King and then went back to his car,” the woman said, through tears. “He just att

I spend a lot of my day in the car... ...one job to the next. A whole bunch of miles, and a whole lot of watching other drivers. They eat. They get dressed. Put on makeup. Read the paper! And play on the phone. Two months ago, Kathy was making a left hand turn and was at a complete stop as she waited for traffic to clear. The woman who smashed into her did so at about 45 mph. She never touched the brake. Aggravating! So, yesterday afternoon I was waiting on a light at Main & Winspear in Downtown Buffalo. I happened to look in the rear view mirror. “Shit!” I saw the grill of a big truck approaching fast. “He ain’t stopping.” I gripped the wheel hard. 💥 💥 Bam 💥 💥 We pulled off. “I’m so sorry,” he said. “I looked away for a second.” I just growled. Pissed. We exchanged info and I assessed the damage. The guy apologized 3 more times. Damn. Pay attention!

Make it stop. Up until two weeks ago, I had to hear Scaramucci go on all the news shows, talk about his eleven days in the White House and listen to him spin himself into a tizzy trying to tell us how the racist garbage was just good counter-punching. Then Trump did something even worse and the Mooch tried to play both sides a little too close. He landed on the sh*t list and the narcissistic pig turned on the Mooch. Called him a loser. Said that he never liked him. Told the world how dumb Scaramucci is. “Good,” I thought. “The Mooch will disappear!” But an even worse thing happened: Everyone booked the Mooch so he could tell the world that he made a mistake. He called Donald unfit and said that the grand orange bully was a failure. It didn’t end there, of course, because the whiner-in-chief doesn’t have anything to do all day long, but monitor Twitter because it’s not the weekend yet so he can’t go golfing. And now we have it: Mooch versus Trump. That’s what

I have a little league all-star trophy in my Yankees room. I was one of 4 Mets representatives from the 1977 season. It was a year that we won a few playoff games and actually went to the championship games against the Tigers. That was a best 2 out of 3 series but there was no reason to play game 3 because the Tigers pounded us in the first two. It was a horrible defeat, but prepared me for all those Bills Super Bowl losses. I was a catcher and a pitcher during my little league career. I wasn’t a power hitter, but I hit a lot of singles. Right over 2nd base. I remember a lot about those days. When I was 9 we pulled up to the field to play the hated Red Sox. “Mom, they have a man on their team,” I said, pointing to my buddy Jeff Renaldo who was about 6’ 180 as a 10-year old. My knees were shaking when I stepped into the box. Jeff threw hard, but he also threw a change up. I hit the change up. I also remember getting a hit off Digger Braymiller when we played the Cubs

We did make it to dinner on Friday night - Olive Garden (Kathy loves the salad and breadsticks). It was all right. I can make every dish better than they can. Then we stopped and looked at a new living room set because ours is shot and then... ...nothing! I only left the house for about 20 minutes total through the weekend. We watched a few episodes of a couple of series. I caught most of three Yankees games - they won 2. I cooked and we ate. “We haven’t had macaroni and peas lately,” Kathy said on Friday. We had it on Sunday. The boys worked weird hours all weekend. I made sure they ate as soon as they returned. You see, part of it is that Kathy can’t hardly move. Her knees make it almost impossible for her to bend her legs until at least noon every day. She has MRI’s scheduled or completed (I can’t keep up), but we weren’t about to walk around at the fair. My golf partners were all tied up for Sunday... ...so, it was me and Melky and Paris and my beautifu

Was on a construction job at a local high school. I found a newspaper - The Buffalo Evening News - from 1953. Love it! I read a story about a murder. One about two politicians (a Democrat & a Republican) taking different sides on a sensitive issue. There was bad weather on the horizon and farmers were worried about their crops. There were sales being advertised. Even the layout of the paper was similar to what we have 66 years later. There was an application for a drivers license too, and I was surprised that it was one I’d seen before. Driver’s license applications haven’t changed much either. I kind of really enjoy looking back on regular, every day living before I was here, and I dread missing what I’m gonna’ miss when I’m no longer here. Which means I gotta’ live my days while I have them. But reading that old paper was a little depressing. We haven’t inched forward very much in some areas, but think of all that’s happened since ‘53. Television, the mo

They play so many games. About 180 a year. I’ve been following the sport for 50 years. That’s a lot of games. It’s like a soap opera for me. I keep an eye on all the numbers. “How many RBI’s does Joey Votto have?” I asked Jake. “60?” “39”, I said. “Man, that’s not right,” Jake said. He follows the sport too. Yet, one of my favorite things is listening to the sport on the radio. Last night I was keeping an eye on Yankees-Indians. Then Kathy asked for a cold drink... ...of the frozen lemonade variety. I begrudgingly got in the car. The game was on the radio. The Indians feed. “And here’s the pitch. It’s...down and away. Kipnis grounded out last time. Tanaka is ready. He’s pitching out of the stretch for the first time tonight. Low. Two and oh.” I headed into the store. Took a full four minutes. “And it’s a slow roller to second. Torres flips to first to the out, but Ramirez moves up to second.” I can understand why that might be considered boring to

Behind door #1 is your life soulmate. Behind door #2 is $70 million cash. Behind door #3 is a working time machine and you can go back to anytime in your life. Which do you choose? The cash has a pretty distinct pull, right? I’m thinking you can find a bunch of ‘soulmates’ with $70 mil in the bank. But money is money. I don’t even know what I’d do with all that scratch. Instead. I’d definitely take the time machine and make some visits back to distinct days... ...change a thing or two. But mostly visit. They say that as you age that you don’t regret the things you did, you regret the things you didn’t do. I can see that. I’d go back to days where I laughed so hard that it hurt. I remember the golf weekend we went on about a dozen years ago. Me and my buddies were laughing so hard that I made the driver pull over because I was cramping up from laughter and needed to stand up. I’d head back to the summer nights at the big house on the hill with all my sibl

Big story on Tuesday. CNN host, Chris Cuomo, was baited into a shouting match with a guy who hit him with the ‘Fredo’ slam. That’s a ‘Godfather’ reference and Fredo was a colossal failure in the family. Cuomo comes from a pretty distinguished family. His Dad, Mario, was the state governor. His brother, Andrew, is the current New York governor. (He’s not too popular in this neck of the woods because of his strict gun laws and because the City gets the money in the New York State budget). Chris is a night anchor, and seems like a decent guy, but he’s in the public eye, and he’s going to get his share of grief from haters. The Fredo comment got under his skin and he went off. As an Italian-American with a long last name that ends in a vowel I’ve heard a lot of the Italian slang words. My college roommate would drive me nuts by calling me a “filthy eye-talion” which was fun after awhile... ...but every once in a blue moon. When I was about 7 years old I went to work with my

I waited a couple of days to weigh in on this. Jeffrey Epstein, by all accounts, was a bad man. He was facing a trial that may have exposed the sins of a whole bunch of powerful men. Men who lived lives of wealth and excess and felt they were entitled to do so. You’ve heard the names of those who hung out with Epstein as he abused children. That’s what angers me... ...the media refers to them as ‘girls’. They were children! And the names mentioned? Clinton, Dershowitz, Barr, Trump, perhaps even royalty! So, they bring Epstein in. Raid his place. Find all the evidence, neatly catalogued for them. Epstein tried to kill himself about a month back. (Details are sketchy). So, they put him on suicide watch. Then forgot to check on him. Maybe even let him buy a noose from the prison store. Shut off all the cameras! Come on, man! And there will be years and years of theory on what happened. Trump, who continues to find a new bottom...every twenty minutes or

It was a straight ladder, but it was just 12’ up, so while I sighed, I didn’t say much. The kid who was working on the roof buzzed up it, and I started my journey. We had golfed on Sunday so the back was a little tight. Everything else felt okay, but evidently, I was a tad slow in my approach. “Come on, old man,” he said. I remember that it really used to piss off my Dad if someone called him ‘old man.’ I laughed. The kid will get there too... ...faster than he imagines. But I told him a few things about getting older. 1). Something always hurts. “I go to bed some nights feeling great. I wake up with a swollen ankle.” 2). You hope no one calls. “My son went to work at 7 a.m., he came home at 9 p.m. I asked him what he was doing and he said he was going to have a glass of wine with a co-worker. I told him to make it quick because he had to work again the next day. He said he was tired. He stayed up until 1:30 in the morning, and was up and out of bed the next mor

I’ve listened to my children tell me, in horrified voices, that someone they went to school with, killed himself. I swear, there have been a number of suicides of youngsters, and it breaks my heart a little. I think back to a buddy of mine who took his own life back about 20 years ago. Norm was a big guy. With a horrible back. He had a couple of beautiful girls. His job was steady, but so was that pain. He could barely get out of a chair, and all attempts to get it fixed... ...didn’t work. When he was able to move, he was great company. We ate, and we laughed... ... a lot. Then one morning I went into work and everyone was whispering. “Where’s Norm?” I asked. And they told me. I still can’t believe it. All these days later and I remember my first thought: “Why didn’t he say something?” It’s crazy to think that I might have helped him. I was fighting my own battles. I only saw a small part of his battle. Yet, I still react the same way to such news. “

I’ve spent some time in New England over the last couple of years. I often get a lobster roll for lunch. “When in Rome.” But I didn’t even think of it. We’ve been doing the pepper party for about 20 years. Kathy did. Would it work? Well, I came in 3rd... ...losing to my sister, Carrie Lynn, who did a chorizo based pepper (good) and my brother, John, who did a chicken wing pepper (liked that one too). But as is par for the course, there were 10 other great entries and the Leone’s were terrific hosts. There was a corn hole contest. I was paired with my Mom! We lost. But had a great time all the way around... ...and then! I got a tray of enchiladas from Frenchy, our long-time friend. They were hand-delivered by Shannon. They’re gone! Pops pepper was excellent... ...his boy’s was even better. There was a pot roast pepper that was tasty and my buddy Scott made his first stuffed pepper ever and I wouldn’t have been surprised if he’d placed. But... ...th

I started this year with the same goal as last year: “I’m going to take my vacation time.” It’s August 10th. I’ve taken 2 days. Congress is off. They are not coming back despite the horrific shootings. Guess they need their time! Trump stood on the lawn today and ranted incoherently for a half an hour... ...before heading off to a golf vacation... ...as opposed to the 7,000 rounds he’s played this summer already. And why don’t I take vacation???? That’s a real question. I have a bunch of clients... ...they call me. They don’t call the office. They are all really busy right now. They don’t care that I’m tired. And I know!! The graveyard is full of indispensable men and women... ...but the days just go. And then I look up and it’s November! I’m not whining about it. I’m more amazed that Moscow Mitch doesn’t find it necessary to return to pass gun laws. “Everyone needs their break.” And there’s something to be said about unplugging and stepping

“My Dad is not a criminal.” The video of the crying Latino girl haunted me all day yesterday. Her Dad was one of the immigrants busted at the chicken factory in Mississippi during an ICE raid. We all good with taking parents from their kids? I read a story of a man who was deported to Iran. He’d never been there. The family wasn’t legal. How does someone get deported to a place where he’d never been? Yet, those weren’t the worst of the stories. How about the grinning, thumbs-up, tone deaf, idiotic photos of the big orange dude at the hospitals in Dayton and El Paso? How can he possibly smile through that? He made a video... ...that was him mugging for the camera. There’s a report that the patients didn’t want him to visit. “Do Something!” The crowds chanted. “We’re going to do something with background checks,” Trump said. “We’re not coming back from recess,” McConnell said. “The NRA won’t look kindly on background checks,” Wayne LaPierre said. So, you know

It’s been 9 years since my Dad passed away suddenly. There are still days when I think of calling him to tell him something. I can’t even begin to imagine what he’d say about Trump. Yet... ...I’m not a fan of acknowledging death days. It’s impossible to not think about it, but I don’t want to forever hate a day. As luck may have it, I was actually in Connecticut this week. Dad was working up there in 1988 and I was toiling at a pretty lousy job at home. “Come up here,” he said. “You can work in the office.” And just like that, my career was born. I gathered a lot of experience, and we hung out for a few months in a big apartment in West Haven. Then he quit and went home, and I stayed and finished the job. As I drove through the state this week I remembered so many things about our time there. Dad was younger than I am now. That alone is amazing, but then I considered that it was 31 years ago, and I was just 23 years old. We had elaborate meals. Dad was an amaz

In Dayton, a son took his Dad out for a night on the town. They were having a nice time. 30 seconds changed that. A crazed gunman fired 41 shots in a half a minute. One of the shots ended up in the father’s head. His son held him, and watched his father take his last breath. In El Paso, a Mom and Dad died as they protected their daughter. When they broke the news to the young girl she had one question. “Is he coming to shoot me?” There are more than 30 stories like that... ...and somebody, somewhere is making arrangements to buy guns, ammo and armor... ...and plotting. He is. He’s a white male in his early 20’s. He’s enraged. The only thing we don’t know is where. At all of these sites we hear the same thing time and again... “I didn’t think it would happen here.” And politicians line up to defend the rights of the guy who went off with the gun. You know what rights I find more important? The right of a Dad and son to go out on the town The right

There’s a lot of talk of white supremacy and how it’s erupted in violence. Thing is, it’s been going on awhile. The Columbine killers were certainly a long way down that path. We had the violence in Charlottesville last year, and some traction was gauged as “good people on both sides” was the worst of all possible statements. Back in the 1920’s the KKK had prominent individuals as members... ...Fred Trump fell into that category... ...and there are certainly a whole lot of white people who think they’re better than Asians, Latino, and Blacks. They just do. And they’re out of hiding now. Yesterday we heard that it should be condemned, as it should be, but what will that do to the rallies? Trump campaigned on the hate last time... ...he was upping the ante this time through. How can he feed his base if he’s condemning them? He isn’t going to head out and preach love all of a sudden. Those people will still chant “send them back.” He will classify immigrants

All of the excuses can be shot down in seconds. One dope tweeted about the violent video games. Video games are sold all over the world. Only in America can the kids not handle them? My boys play video games... ...they’ve never even asked me to buy them a gun. A second dope talked about it all being because we don’t pray in school anymore. Prayers don’t make things happen or not happen like that! I owned another home for awhile. My tenant couldn’t pay the rent on time. I asked her about it and she said, “I’ve been praying to God that I’ll find a way.” I said, “Pay the rent or start praying that he finds you housing.” Prayers are fine. Making things happen is better. It’s about angry, white males having easy access to two things: Hate & Guns. Somehow we have to take something out of the equation. We have to figure out how to keep weapons of war out of the hands of the unstable. It’s actually that simple. We’ve been praying that it doesn’t happen aga

So, I played a round of golf with three old college friends. It was great seeing them. Problem being, they all played on the college golf team. They had scholarships to play and one of them is a course pro who spends his days teaching the sport. A lesser man might have been intimidated. I calmly walked up and hit my drive down the middle. Then, one by one, they hammered theirs about a hundred yards past me. It was fun to watch. Long drives, perfect chip shots and long putts that made the hole on the very last revolution. It was amazing, actually. We were also betting with the 4-some in front of us so there was no moving the ball, or taking a second shot... ...had to actually play the rules! I was about 145 yards out on one hole. “Put it on,” all three said. I wasn’t sure I was capable of that as it’s a weird yardage for me. I stayed down and hit it perfectly. It was way up in the air. A pretty golf shot. “Good hit,” the pro said! I was going to be on...

Was watching coverage of the latest mass shooting here in America. Angry white kid with a gun he is not mentally capable to own... ...gunning down back-to-school shoppers. He killed the young, the old and everyone in between. For nothing. And the coverage is always the same: 1). Talk to someone who survived. 2). Talk to law enforcement. 3). Tell us how horrific it is as they wait for the body count. 4). Read thoughts & prayers tweets from the same old politicians who have zero interest in ever making it stop. 5). Get a doctor up there. It was one of the doctors who caught my ear. “I’m proud of our team. We practiced the mass shooting response because, let’s face it, this is the world we live in.” IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE!!! Then the governor came on, and talked about prayers and thanked the police department and the rescue. Then he offered support from Texas. This is the same guy who tweeted that he was “embarrassed” because Texas was only 2nd in gun sale

The Warroad Pioneer printed their final edition. The text newspaper of the small Minnesota town is shutting it down after 121 years of printing the news of the community. Sad. 2,000 newspapers have gone belly up in the last 15 years. I swear to God, one of my first thoughts every day deals with the newspaper. As a kid I was always in trouble for taking the paper to another place in the house before my Dad saw it. As an adult, buying a newspaper is one of my first thoughts. I usually read it from page 1 to the end. I like the feel of it, I enjoy looking at the box scores, and I have for years quizzed the boys with the information at my fingertips. “What’s Jose Altuve batting?” The boys put in their guesses and whoever is closer gets the point. But it’s over, isn’t it? How many people left buy the paper every day? No one is going to buy a classified ad either when you can just slap it on Facebook. Yet, where will people get news? From social media? The stories

Every year there are invitations to play in golf tourneys. I don’t get a chance to play in many during the week, but yesterday I did... ...and didn’t play well for the 3rd time out in a row. My back is bugging me. But scores don’t matter much anyway... ...I enjoy looking around at the beauty, and I really enjoy the sun on my face. It was a best ball tournament and we played 18 holes and parred each one. Not a single birdie or bogey. Dead even on the day. Which is weird. Our conversations were isolated to: “Where’s my ball?” “Good hit.” “What the hell was that?” As it should be. And there’s nothing more beautiful than a good golf course. I always take one good look around when I’m playing. Look up. Look around. See the beauty. Feel the heat of the sun on your face... ...it’s gonna’ snow soon.

So, there was a Democratic debate last night. I didn’t watch it. But, there are a whole lot of people on the stage. Some I don’t know much about at all. There are just too many, right? One of them has spent $15 million and he has about 800 twitter followers. Why is he still there? And it’s all such garbage. People aren’t listening... ...they’re going to vote for whoever they like the most... ...you know, the kind of gal or guy you’d like to have a beer with. I ran for office once. I was gunning for Senior Class Secretary. I ran against the girl who held the office for 11 years. She was the secretary of the 1sr grade class... ...ran unopposed every year. Until my buddy, Al, got an idea. “If we win we get to sit right up front at graduation.” So, I ran. The extent of my campaign was putting my name on the ballot. I won. And then I never did a single thing while holding office. Didn’t attend even one meeting. The poor girl that I beat did all th