Thoughts of a Common Man

I always think of the last few lines of “This Hard Land” by Springsteen when I reach the end of a new year and think about the coming year. “Stay hard, stay hungry, stay alive...if you can...and meet me in the dream of this hard land.” Stayed alive in 2018. That’s a big part of it! 2018, on the surface, was a good year. We saw Springsteen on Broadway in March. I released ‘The Big D’ and it actually won in the fiction category at the New England Book Festival. Me, Kathy and the boys enjoyed each other’s company. Melky & Paris went for a ride everyday! I battled leg, back and hip pain, but I ignored it and learned to live with it. I managed it with about 40 massages and spinal decompression. I climbed ladders and played golf on the good days. I played golf better than I had in 15 years and had a blast doing it with my great friends. By December, I released another book, “Everything I Know” and it fits right in with how I wanted to build a career.... ...and the

There’s a pretty interesting, detailed essay about the rise of Trump as a president due to the reality star existence that we’ve been living for quite some time. There was a lot of attention given to the Apprentice show, which was a scripted, produced show designed to portray the Donald as a leader, and a powerful man. Raise your hand if you never saw an episode. I hope I’m not the only one with my hand raised. Yet, there has been an absolute mess of a discussion about Facebook and their involvement with Russia during the election. Ads were sold to people who were working hard to directly sway people who already in hate with a candidate. Professional writers took a great deal of time in composing fake stories. Then those who benefitted from fake news looked at what is actually news reporting and yelled, “Fake!” A lot of it seems to be water under a collapsing bridge, but this is our world now. How will we handle this moving forward? When there are shows masquerading a

Years ago, my beautiful wife told me a story about a friend of hers who was going through some marital strife. “She found a bunch of Polaroid photos of his junk. He had a collection of them that he’d pass off to girls that he was interested in.” We had a good laugh. “Did you see it?” I asked. “God no!” She shrieked, but Angelina (fake name) found them and she’s pissed!” “As she should be.” Now, this was well before the phone craze. I must be an old dude because I find it pretty strange that someone might actually think enough of themselves to pass along such a photo... ...but it’s all the rage! The rumor isn’t that Mueller has a nude selfie of someone in the current administration. A lot of attractive women on Twitter send out statements every now and again because they’ve grown weary of seeing so many photos of “junk” from total strangers who are looking for a date. I don’t know any of my buddies who would send out such a photo... ...at least I don’t think so!

Malls have sort of fallen by the wayside in the 21st century. Back in the day, a trip to the mall was a full night out. A big pretzel or a cinnamon roll just after you walked through the door, a stop by the arcade for a few games or air hockey, a visit to the music store, and then the food court followed by a movie or the watering hole for a bunch of beer. We didn’t wander out to the Galleria Mall too often because it was a little further, and the car was always unfindable in the parking lot. Place was always packed. Last night, it appeared that Boxing Day was taken a little too literal. “Fights break out.” The news story was a roaring headline. There were reports of shots being fired... ...turned out to not be true, thankfully, but plenty of people were posting video. The fights were said to be gang-related and there’s were a bunch of them. It was pretty nasty and I thought a little bit about the men and women who were just at the mall to return a bum Christmas p

I once wrote a story about a sad sack guy who always felt as if he were out of place. No matter where he was, he felt like he should be elsewhere. I thought about that yesterday as I returned to work. We all often work thinking about the weekend... ...and then when we get those days off... ...we sometimes wish to be back at work!! That happens to me every now and again. You see, I like routines. When I’m off for a few days, I become discombobulated. There’s no sense to it! “What are we doing today?” I’ll often ask on a day off. “I don’t know!” Kathy will say. All I’m asking for is a plan. I can manage a weekend because there’s enough of a vibe to make that work. I have a routine for a weekend. I don’t have a routine for a part of a Monday and a Tuesday off. I wander around a bit like a lost dog... ...wondering what I should do next. I mentioned it to the first crew I saw, believing that they’d laugh at me. “It kind of feels good to be back at work,” I

The Leone’s did the homemade pizza for Christmas Eve... ...crushed it. There was a megaphone. John started it off with a clean, lame joke about Santa. About thirty minutes later we ran out of jokes... ...one was more ‘dirty’ than the next. John’s horse joke made me laugh a few minutes before he even told the punch line. When he hit the punch I was dizzy from laughing. Didn’t think he’d tell that one. There was a book of photos of all of us from back in 1974. Everyone was crying by then. Carrie’s children and my children and Jim’s son... ...busting on each other. I pray they stay close. On Christmas morning, we didn’t get going too early... ...our kids now know that sleep is precious. The one gal who isn’t sleeping is my old dog, Melky. She’s been getting me out of bed in the middle of the night for about a month now. Maybe she heard Santa, but I was out there at 3:15, watching her do her thing... ...and I looked up. At the stars, in the frigid night.

A good buddy of mine texted a Christmas greeting on the 22nd... ...said that the negative thoughts and tweets and arguments were forcing him to go dark. He wanted to bring in the love. Leave the rest. That little text propelled me to think about the good stuff and try so hard to block the stupid things out. My beautiful wife, my adoring children and the two best dogs in the world are all pretty healthy. We’ve been able to be productive members of society... ...and we’ve all enjoyed one another’s company. There are presents under the tree. We painted the walls! Got new carpet! Replaced the dishwasher!! The Yankees won 100 games and next year will be better. I put two books out (with great covers) and might do two more next year. Mom spent a lot of time playing Bingo and eating pasta here. Healthy... ...happy. The year has been unsteady because of the mood of the country. Don’t need to bring that in every day. Merry Christmas to All! Things are all right

The excitement of Christmas is almost too much for children everywhere. Back in North Collins in the 1970’s Christmas celebrations were a live thing. They had a pulse! We were excited from the moment our eyes opened on the 24th. “Who’s going to church when?” “What time are we going to Grandma’s?” Most of it was written in stone. Grandma and Grandpa Schryver usually showed up around noon on Christmas Eve. Once Dad arrived from work, it was game on. Mom and Dad were in perpetual motion. If Dad was cooking something to bring he was always open to let us try some. Six kids in a home, with undeniable excitement in the air was a powerful thing too. There was a good chance that a fight could break out, but mostly, we were running around helping. That first step into the door brought the whiff of the pizza. I’d be curious to find out how many pizzas Grandma made from scratch... ...but I was only interested in one... ...the anchovy one. Dad would start talking about that

There’s a point in the Springsteen on Broadway session where he speaks of his father and how he, as a growing child, realizes that he needs approval. Bruce then tells the audience that he put himself in his Dad’s work uniform when he hit the road... ...right down to the work boots. “I write about factories. I’ve never seen the inside of one. I wrote about working hard. Never worked a 9-5 job in my life.” But he set himself up as a working man... ...because that’s what he knew. I think of that a lot when I’m lacing up my work books in the morning. I was the very last guy that my Dad would’ve thought would be in work boots every day. He was fond of telling me that he gave me two educations. He gave me more than that... ...and on his birthday I think of him even more than I do on just a typical work day, but I had the pleasure of working for him, and then with him. When I was his employee he only said it once: “People are watching you cause you’re the son of the boss

The government was partially shut down at midnight. The stock market is in a freefall and just had its worst month since the Great Recession. Mattis quit because he wasn’t actually consulted on the troops leaving Syria... ...a move that was basically only loved by Putin. Trump put out a photo of steel slats that he wants to put up at the border to stop the Mexicans from pouring in to rape and pillage. It’s an unmitigated disaster. And it’s hard to watch... ...3 days away from Christmas and it feels like the whole thing is going up in smoke. Yet, I did laugh. At around 8:00, Trump posted a photo of himself behind the desk in the Oval Office. There were a stack of folders to his right. There was one open in front of him and he had the pen poised to make its mark. “Working hard after everyone else has gone home.” (Was the basis of his tweet). Because he knew the government was to be shuttered and he really wants to go to Florida... ...so he was pretending to

Unless you’ve written a book and had it published, you won’t know the feeling. Yet, long, long, long before that happens: There’s an idea! Like a bolt of lightning... ...and the first chapter rolls out. Really quickly. Writing chapter one is the easiest chapter by far... ...cause you’re fired up and the characters are brand new to you. The only thing I struggle with in chapter one is the first line of the book. I always want it to be a great line. I write that line over and over again. I hope someone notices that I take great care in the opening line of all my books! And then the trouble begins... ...the work. Like digging a really long ditch. I have 13 books out now. I have never not wanted to quit somewhere along the way. You have to be a pit bull. You need to blow away the fears and push past that “this sucks point!” And there’s the handling of the end. ‘Cause you sometimes don’t want to finish. Those characters, who lived in your head and heart

Watched Jim Comey step out of his hearing about Clinton’s emails. He spoke about it: “Does that make any sense at all?” He asked. “Someone needs to stand up for the rule of law.” Like everyone else I was conflicted about Comey. He came out and said that Clinton’s emails was not a crime...was reckless, but not criminal (which was the correct call as those before and about a hundred people in this administration have handled info the same way). Yet, 10 days before the election he was faced with an impossible situation: Either reopen or be accused of cheating. He reopened the case and it was just enough to prove to the undecided that she was guilty of something... ...when she wasn’t. And now, he’s been dragged through the mud for two years, by a flailing, desperate criminal who has been caught red-handed. I like Comey. He’s a Republican (maybe a former one now) who is begging someone from the (former) party of law and order to “knock it the ‘F’ off!” And stand up!

My wonderful, Sabres-loving, heavy-metal listening, PHD-getting cousin, Kristin, has been inviting me, over the last couple of years to visit her college classes. At the onset of the semester her students get a copy of “Dogs On Main Street” and by the end of the semester I show up to talk about it. It’s great fun! Now, I chose Dogs as the go-to-Book for students studying social interactions and mental instability because all of those characters were a tad off. Here are some of the highlights: 1). Everyone looks so young!!! 2). I begin the talk by presenting how and why I became an author. You should see their faces when I mention that I had to write it long-hand, then buy a typewriter, and then learn how to two-finger type it in. If mistakes were made, it was all about white-out or tearing up the page. 3). “Okay, raise your hands if you like Springsteen!” I said. The young, some-black, some-white, some-Hispanic faces looked back. Some of them smiled. “Nobody?? Who y

I saw a little boy at the grocery store. The kid stood about 3’ tall. He wanted a pack of Oreo’s. He really wanted them! It was an ear-piercing scream. “Santa’s coming!” The kid’s father said. Silence! I laughed. I also felt a pang of sadness... ...there’s no getting my big slobs to behave cause Santa is on the way. (Gotta’ get me some grandkids like my buddy, Jeff did - don’t see it happening any time soon!) At least the holiday falls on a Tuesday, right? Can’t see much going on during the Monday work hours either week. Yet, I haven’t been shopping either. Kathy gets everything taken care of in that department, and I’m not all that enamored with braving the crowds. I’m in charge of all things that deal with food... ...yet, I’m also looking forward to working a little less over the next couple of weeks. It’s Christmas after all! The father in the grocery store was a lot like I’d been back in the day. He bought the package of cookies. “You have to s

For God’s sake, ‘Baby It’s Cold Outside’ is just a song about a man and woman flirting and debating spending the night together. It’s not a date rape situation. Dean Martin sang it for crying out loud! Feeling hurt over it is downright dumb. Know what’s dumber? Wanting to ban the Rudolph cartoon because of bullying. We all saw the cartoon as kids. The other reindeer were the villains of the story because that’s how stories are written. Good guys and bad guys! You feel bad for an animated red-nosed reindeer? My God! It’s a cartoon!!! Yet, that doesn’t take the cake. You know what takes the cake??? One in six people think that Santa Claus should be gender neutral. Does that sound right to anyone??? It’s freaking Santa Claus! Can’t we all just pretend that the fake guy who brings presents to every kid in the world by flying a sleigh and sliding down chimneys is actually the man that he was written to be? Are adults really upset about this??? Santa Claus

We have had the same Christmas Tree since the boys were young. It was kind of a pitiful looking thing when it was brand new. Some 18 years later, well, it’s kinda’ sad. “Let’s get a new tree,” Kathy said, last year. “Maybe even a real one.” Sam wasn’t hearing anything about it. “That’s OUR tree! No way!!” So, last year at this time we decided to give it a solid effort. When Sam put it in the stand, I actually took some time and opened up the branches a little before the ornaments went on... .,.unbeknownst to me, Kathy did the same thing. By the time all the ornaments were on... ...it actually looked really good. “Go look for the tree,” I said, to Sam on Friday night. On Saturday morning, I found a couple of pieces stuffed in a closet. When I saw Sam I said, “Get it set up.” My boys have my mechanical abilities. I watched him struggle to keep it straight in the stand. “Bring it here,” I said. It didn’t look right. “Wait a minute. There’s a piece missing.”

It was delivered to my phone in the dead of the night. (I hate how music is delivered). I had another problem. I don’t know how to synchronize my phone... (It was in synch once). But I had an aux cord. (I tried it). And it kinda’ worked. The music was playing through my car speakers. (Kind of). Bruce’s voice was hard to hear and I couldn’t believe that they released it in such poor quality. (Then I plugged the cord all the way in). Scared the shit out of me. (Then I listened). “It’s the greatest production in the history of music, by the greatest entertainer in the universe,” I texted to Kathy, who’d also seen the show. “No doubt,” she said. (And it is). Millions of people will hear it and see it now. (It’s on Netflix on Sunday). In this day and age it should be required viewing for every human being... ...it’s about love and family and doubt and depression and happiness and God. (It truly is beautiful). I listened for two and a half hours. T

I get sad thinking that Tom Petty isn’t here anymore. He had a record, “Let Me Up, I’ve Had Enough.” Kept thinking that as I listened to the news reports. Trump was locked in his bedroom all day yesterday. I guess he came out today because he said that he didn’t know anything about Cohen paying off his women, and that it’s not a crime anyway. His defense being that he hired Cohen to be a lawyer and didn’t pay attention. Then an hour later he said that Cohen was a lightweight who didn’t do much for him outside of PR work. Then he said that Flynn didn’t lie and the FBI is giving him a deal because they know he didn’t lie. He fired Flynn... ...for lying to the FBI. Then news broke about the Russian spy pleading guilty for conspiring with the NRA and the Republicans. Then it was announced that they are investigating stolen money during the inauguration. If he wasn’t president he’d already be facing felony charges. It’s going to get worse. So, he locked himself in

...done dirt cheap. Michael Cohen, Trump’s lawyer, has joined Trump’s campaign manager in jail. Everyone who reported on the story kept saying, “Dirty Deeds.” And for a half an hour I was stuck singing the AC/DC song: “Dirty deeds, done dirt cheap.” Over and over and over again. And it’s weird, but I almost felt bad for the guy. He has a wife and a couple of kids and it can’t be easy to know that for the better part of the next 3 years you’re going to sit in a cage because your conduct deserves punishment. Cohen deserves it. He was a tax fraud. He lied, cheated, and acted like a real scumbag under the direction of his boss. I’m hoping that he comes clean about all of it now and gets another year off. It certainly appears that all the secrets are being told. Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap. It’s all good man! I also have to check in on the Harold Baines being sent to the baseball Hall of Fame. Baines was a good player. He was never great. He certainly wasn’t as g

I have a work buddy who’s been battling hard with an elderly Mom. Well, it’s not his Mom he’s battling with as much as it is life that’s giving him trouble. “She’s in her 80’s and her health isn’t great. We have to bring a nurse on for six hours a day, and me and my siblings are taking turns making her dinner. They voted to put her in a home. I said, ‘She ain’t going,’ so, she’s living with me.” That’s a little rough... ...he works all day and then sits with his Mom, and she’s really struggling. “Know what she asked me the other day?” He asked. I shrugged. “She asked me how old I was when I figured out that life is all bullshit.” I laughed. “She was serious! It was Sunday and she slept late. I kept checking on her, but she was snoring. I was worried. Finally, I got her up. She couldn’t sleep all day. She went from the bed to the bathroom to the table, where she hardly ate, to the couch, and she was starting to fall asleep. Then she said the ‘life is bullshit’ comment.

I’m 54 years old. Haven’t missed many days of work in 38 years. I’m currently in a precarious position. Seems I don’t have any shoes. Even when I’m high on the hog I only ever have 3 pair. Work boots, a pair of sneakers and a pair of dress shoes. I wear the dress shoes 3 times a year. They’re currently in good condition, but I can’t wear them for my job, or with my relaxing clothes. I have a pair of work boots, and I’m currently wearing those, but they’re in rough shape. They’re flapping a little. “Santa is bringing you a pair,” Kathy informed me. So, I’m supposed to tough these out until the 25th. And normally, I have a pair of sneakers. They were good sneakers. They were in good shape. Black. Very stylish. Comfortable. I wore them to dinner with the Leone’s on Saturday night, took them off when I returned home, went to bed, figuring they’d be all right... ...they are gone. Vanished! “Where the hell are my sneakers?” I asked everyone in the house. “

I was a tad aggravated at ten o’clock on Saturday because I was dumb enough to drive around the neighborhood with the Bills playing at home. I couldn’t even think of who they were playing. Oh yeah, Jets. The battle for last place. It was cold, but not too bad and the sun was shining, but the very last thing I would have wanted to do was go and sit in a stadium and watch a football game between two teams going nowhere. I haven’t been to a football game since 2002 and have only been to three of them since the Super Bowl Era. It’s a young man’s game. Yet, the kids were into it. Kathy went to Bingo... ...so I watched the young kids play. Josh Allen and Sam Darnold. Flags flying everywhere. Another big star run out of the league for attacking a woman... ...hardly made a blip. But man that sport has a stranglehold on Sunday. Men, women and children all out there, the place is packed. A ton of money changing hands. Let’s build them a new stadium! I guess I get it

John Lennon was shot to death at the age of 40. That will never not make me feel a twinge of sadness, and I think of one of his most famous lines: “Life is what happens when you’re making other plans.” I went to a wake, a funeral and a hospital this week. Heart hurting for good friends. One who died, one who lost a beautiful wife and a really good friend who is battling some serious health issues. “What’s my blood pressure?” He asked me as I stood at his hospital bed. I read it to him. “What’s that number under it?” He asked. “31. It says 31. What’s that?” “They’re measuring Your I.Q.,” I said. He laughed. It hurt him to laugh. “Get out!” He said. “Why do you have to make me laugh?” I thought about that a lot after I left him. All the laughs... ...with a lot of people through the years. And a strange thing happened to me this week. I sent out a bunch of “I love you, friend,” texts. Said the same to my family. “If I end up face down in a plate of linguine

Despite the fact that he proclaimed himself innocent immediately after the news broke on the Cohen & Manafort sentencing statements... ...the so-called president has been implicated in a couple of felonies. It’s just the tip of the iceberg. He couldn’t be acting anymore guilty. His twitter feed reads like the frenzied rantings of a petulant child. I was driving a long way when the news broke. The talking heads were breaking down the fairly apparent connections between the campaign and Russia. Manafort is in jail. Cohen is going too. Flynn is guilty and cooperating. And on and on and on. It made me really sad. I actually said this out loud to the inside of my car: “The president of the United States has committed campaign finance crimes, most likely conspired with the country that ran interference with our election. He not only did not stop it. He helped them do it. Then they all lied.” Just saying it made me angry. How could it not???? I thought some more

Back in 1998, I met a foreman on a job site. Nice long Italian last name. He actually spoke broken English because he was an off-the-boat Italian guy. We hit it off because we talked homemade sausage and about twenty different sauces that we made for our families. He was also a good worker... ...and didn’t ever want an OSHA violation or an injured worker. He called me every week. I helped him a lot. In 2010, he called with some bad news. “I have leukemia,” he said. He was about 55 when they broke the news. Kids, grandkids  and a wife. “Damn!” “I’m good,” he said. “They caught it early. I’ll be good as new.” And he was. We had lunch in 2016. He looked great. Back to work. We had a bowl of pasta. Funny thing, he called me last week. “We need to do lunch again,” he said. “Definitely! How you feeling?” “Fit as a fiddle.” So, we had time. You always think there’s more time... ...he got a little fluid on his lungs... ...went in for a checkout. Got

Can’t tell you all how old Corinne is today. She’d kill me! But there’s a meal in our immediate future. We like to eat good food! I’m thinking a little seafood, a lot of steak. And even more laughs. “Want to grab dinner with Corinne and Chuckles?” I asked Kathy. “Absolutely!” So, there will be laughs. There will be a little pain involved. Years ago, the first time we all went to dinner for the first time, Corinne and I ordered appetizers, our main meal and then an add-on lobster tail. “Really?” Kathy asked. “This ain’t a f****ng game,” Corinne answered! Happy Birthday, big sis. Your brother, sister-in-law, and nephews love you. (Melky and the Pair-Pair too!)

My boys are fond of saying: “Drake is dropping a new record! I didn’t know much about “Dropping things”! Yet, I have been writing every day (except for a few months back when I was really, really sad) since... ...hell, about 1975! I have a lot in the vault! (So someone dig through if I go face first into a dish of linguine & clams). But the “drop dates” have come to mean something to me. I did one for a very faithful reader - Dicci Montaldi - cause she asked me to. I chose Decenber 06 for my sister Corinne for “Everything I Know” cause I love her! And I laughed a little because a few people have burrowed their way under my skin for years when it comes to writing: “Why does it take you so long?” “I found a spelling error.” “That’s now what you meant!” “When’s the next one done?” “I liked your last one better.” “You swore too much!” And that’s always kind of made me laugh because like I once told my beautiful wife: “I love everything about telling

He liked dogs... ...and baseball. He was a war hero. Jumped out of planes on 80th, 85th and 90th birthdays. Actually had a humane immigration policy. Was married for 73 years and defended his family. Voted against Trump, accurately referring to him as a blowhard. And deserves a solid goodbye because he acted like a gentleman, and seemingly loved his country at every turn... ...and politically I wasn’t a fan. Same with W. I didn’t much care for the wars and the destruction of Iraq, or the policies for the already rich. Yet, there are just four living presidents now. Carter, Clinton, George W., and Obama. (I don’t much count the current one because I’m not sure who that is). He will be laid to rest later this week and will be beside his wife and daughter (who never had a chance to live much). I do recall my grandfather, father and mother not truly caring for the Bush Family, but I have certainly softened towards them... ...from W.’s words at Trump’s inaugu

Kareem Hunt is a terrific runner. His team, the Kansas City Chiefs, is a super bowl contender this year. If they’re to win it, it’ll be without Hunt. Back in February he was involved in a altercation with a young woman. The Chiefs and the NFL knew about it. Hunt was allowed to play after he was interviewed and he assured all that he didn’t touch the woman. It was a he-said, she-said thing. Until it wasn’t. TMZ debuted a video and it was clear that Hunt pushed her, pushed someone into her, and then kicked her. And get this: The Chiefs cut him!!! For lying!!! They put out a statement that condemned the lie. They didn’t mention the hitting the woman thingie, perhaps because they have another man or two on the team who’ve been mentioned as doing the same thing. The NFL??? They were investigating, but they just didn’t have the information needed to suspend the man. Take a little air out of a ball (allegedly) though and there’s hell to pay, and a special counsel wil

On every television show if the phone rings in the middle of the night the character looks at the clock and says: “It’s three in the morning!” Well, funny thing is that I’ve had my sleep disorder this past week (happens every couple of months)... ...I’ve been up at 3:00 on the dot four straight nights! At unfortunately, I think about what the hell might have happened in this crazy government. They call it the Donald Trump condition and believe it or not, it’s a real problem. All of the upheaval and chaos is a syndrome of sorts. Twitter is a real problem for someone who can’t sleep. If you pick up the phone and start scrolling there’s a real chance that you’ll be sucked into the stupidity... ...especially if he’s out of the country. “Witch Hunt!!!” What makes me laugh is that he actually confessed to crimes. “Just did a little light deal. Very cool. Everyone knew about it.” And that’s how he shifts the story... ...for two years it was: “I don’t have any deals w