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Showing posts from September, 2014

Clooney Is Off the Market

I really could give two shits about a celebrity wedding, but when one of them does get married it's sort of difficult to miss the news of it. I saw Clooney in a speedboat racing to the church. Everyone looked so happy. All the big stars were there. Of course, Clooney and I have a lot in common. 1). Neither one of us was ever going to get married. Yet we ran into the most beautiful women in the world and then what can you do? 2). Neither one of us wanted a traditional wedding. Clooney got married in Venice. I got married in left field at the North Collins Town Park. 3). Clooney had Bono in attendance. I had Pops. And of course...the biggest of all similarities: 4). We both crushed the hearts of all the other women in the world who were now plumb out of luck. It's sad, really. But it's also kinda' funny because we really do identify with celebrities in this country. When one of them gets married we have a moment where we go: "Oh, crap. She

No Pain...No Pain

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That kid there is Guliano Stroe. He's 9 years old and he has been working on sculpting his body since he was a toddler. He lifts weights, works out, and watches what he eats. Sort of like the author of this blog. We watched an Arnold movie over the weekend. (I'm not even gonna' try his last name), but other than stooping the maid Arnold has been known for working out like this child, and of course, he's still jacked up at an old age. Kinda' like me. Yet. Do you think it's a good idea for a kid to be growing in such a manner? The New York Post article spoke about how no one was going to take his lunch money and how excited he was to be going back to school so he could show his classmates that he's a beast. The chicks are gonna' dig him, I imagine. I've put up with it all my life. But in all honesty, I suppose, I guess I should come clean. Despite the body image I've developed over the years, I've never lifted weights.

Featured Work of the Week - Sometimes There's God - Mellencamp

A young girl from West Seneca lost her life yesterday. She was a classmate with Jake and back in 2011 she had been struck by a car. Her life was never the same, of course, and she slipped away yesterday. At the same time I received a message from an old friend. We were talking about her husband's battle with cancer and the fact that he's cancer free. "God Is Good!" she texted. And yes. Sometimes there is God. So the featured song of the week: Sometimes There's God by John Mellencamp (off the new record Plain Spoken - it's good!) At the first listen through of this song John sounded raspy. By the middle of the second listen I knew why. It's repetitive for a reason. Great Stuff. Sometimes There's God John Mellencamp Sometimes there’s God in someone else’s eyes Sometimes there’s God when you see the sun rise Sometimes you work, only in vain Sometimes there’s very little heartbreak and pain Sometimes there’s God Sometimes there

Can't We Have Anything Nice???

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You see that smile on Jeter's face? I'm telling you, I watched him play approximately 95% of the games that he ever played in and he was smiling a lot. Even if they were losing, Jeter would find a moment to smile a little bit. He enjoyed playing shortstop for the Yankees. I still laugh when I think of him covering his face with his glove because he was laughing so hard at Luis Sojo falling down (for no apparent reason) during the 2000 World Series. I smile too when I think of him standing at the railing, talking and laughing with the kids who were there (he did that every single time he played). But it's sad that he got old right before our eyes. What's even sadder are the people giving him grief. Has Jeter hurt the Yankees this year? Should Jeter still be batting second? Jeter's range is hurting the Yankees at short! Was Jeter an overrated player? Well let me answer all of those questions for you. He could have been pushed to short in a whe

My Way

The Derek Jeter Gatorade commercial is awesome. Of course, it is played in front of Frank Sinatra singing My Way and as we watched the other day I told Sam to go an get the lyrics to the song and read them. He didn't do it, but he reads the blog from time-to-time so I'm gonna' put them right in front of his face. Of course, Sinatra plays a huge part in our lives anyway as he was Dad's "Bruce". We heard a lot of Frank and Dean as we grew...and despite all the times we argued about how "boring" it was compared to rock and roll, my brothers and sisters all have I-pods filled with those rat pack members. Of course, Paul Anka wrote My Way and I've heard him tell a lot of stories about his time with Frank. He threw the song in Frank's lap when Frank was ready to retire there for a little while. It's just beautiful. The Voice. Those lyrics. Perfect. My Way And now, the end is here And so I face the final curtain My friend,

Eric the Actor

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I've been listening to Howard Stern for a lot of years. I remember talking about the start of his career when I was in college and I was a little thrown at first, but soon became a regular listener. Howard is actually a decent guy. He did earn his reputation in the early days, but if you listen to him now you know that he was a character in his own life. He's actually thoughtful, funny and entertaining. And if you listen to a show every day you sort of get to know all of the characters, and Howard has a whack-pack...a group of misfits, really, who do all sorts of crazy things. Some are disabled. Like Eric the Actor...who had originally been Eric the Midget. Eric died over the weekend at the age of 37. He wasn't supposed to live much past 20. And for the uninitiated Eric was a mean little bastard who demanded that he be treated the right way...by Howard...by the fans...by everyone. His phone calls were usually demands of the staff to attend VIP events or b

D.B.'s of the Week - Kim Kardashian & Sarah Palin

A couple of curious choices, huh? Let me explain. Sarah Palin wins for sheer stupidity, of course, and that's always been her strong suit. Evidently there was a big fight up there in old Alaska, you betcha', and maybe it was the Russians who live across the street who caused it, but Sarah and her entire clan were involved. Trip and Bristol and Donner and Blitzen were all involved, and one of the daughters slugged the guy who was throwing the party because the Palin's were asked to leave, and they didn't wanna' leave, goshdarnit. Sarah said she's proud of her daughter for throwing the punch and standing up for the family. What a dopey bastard. How in the hell was she close to being 2nd in command in this land? I know they all suck, but damn, there has to be at least a set of minimum qualifications, right? Yet, Sarah sort of bores me, anyway so I allowed her to split the D.B. of the week this week... ...with Kim Kardashian. And Kim didn't

Bruce's Birthday!

It's Bruce's Birthday today and I decided to use the lyrics of a song that he wrote and put on his great, great, great Devils & Dust record. I think of this song often because Bruce tells the story of a man who was beat down by life and tries to just get a moment's peace by visiting his Mom and telling his story. Just incredible writing, folks. Happy Birthday, Boss! We're waiting for the next record and tour. The Hitter - By Bruce Springsteen from Devils & Dust Come to the door ma and unlock the chain. Well I was just passin' through and got caught in the rain. There's nothing that I want, nothin' that you need say. Just let me lie down FOR a while and I'll be on my way. I was no more than a kid when you put me on the Southern Queen. With the police on my back I fled to New Orleans. Well I fought in the dockyards for the the money that I made. I knew the fight was my home and my blood was my trade. Baton Rouge, Ponchatoula, and

Looking For Something

I sat in my normal seat for church services, and I listened to the same old scripture and heard the people around me singing the same old songs. The idea that the church is run by people who may or may not be as holy as they once appeared didn't have any bearing on how I felt as I sat there. I do give money when the collection plate is passed around, but there has been a bit of disconnect. What happened in the Catholic church through the years is disgusting to me on so many different levels...but...old habits die hard. (A nun reference for those of you paying attention). And I go to church simply for the hour of peace that it always brings to my mind. I enjoy the singing and the message that the scriptures bring. I enjoy looking around at the other church-goers and wonder about what everyone is looking for. We are all looking for something. Peace. Salvation. Grace. Faith . We need to feel it in our hearts and souls. And the woman next to me was spending a bi

Featured Book of the Week: Dogs On Main Street

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I was standing behind my beautiful wife as she sat at the computer and tried desperately to get the best seats in the house for the Springsteen show in Buffalo. She kept getting knocked out of the room and I frantically worked my cell phone going back and forth with my brothers, sister-in-law and buddy John. "Damn! I've been doing this for 30 years!" I said. "I've been trying to get tickets for Bruce for 3 friggin' decades!" And the lightning struck. In the middle of all the chaos of the moment, I had an epiphany. (It has a great ending as John, who had never seen Bruce before, scored premium seats with a blind stroke of keyboard luck). What if... A group of people who had once chased Bruce around but had become separated by life got back together to search for the promised land once more. Of course, they had royally screwed up their lives in those 30 years in between. So, I wrote fiction again. For the first time in a whole lot of yea

A 48-Hour Break

Nothing better than the morning when you wake up with two straight days off staring you in the face. Of course, they aren't true days off as there is some computer work stretched out before you, but the mad rush feeling is less, for sure. Even the dogs know the difference between Saturday and Monday. Anywhoha... Some thoughts collected as I pondered the end of the National Football League: As you shake your head and consider it impossible think of this: What if three or four defense attorneys figure out that the reason why his client beat his (wife) (Kid) (dog) (cat) (grandmother) (2nd cousin on his mother's side) was because his brain had been damaged by being hit. It's gonna' happen...and when that defense catches on as a way to explain abysmal behavior...the thread is gonna' come loose. Players won't be able to be hit at all. None of you are gonna' watch flag football. And before you dismiss it as an excuse for the bad behavior...the p

Great Story of the Week

Too many times I'm forced to write and complain a bit about the state of the world. That's unfortunate because every day there are common folk out there doing heroic things, but never receiving credit. Of course I will continue with the D.B. of the week, but I will also try to come up with a good story each week...you know... To renew our faith in mankind. Football is taking it's lumps...in the real world and here as well, but reading through I saw a great story the other day. Ma'ake Kemoeatu was a football player with the Baltimore Ravens. You know that team...they built a statue of a guy who was involved in a double-murder. It was their number one running back who decked his wife in the elevator. Well...none of that had anything to do with Ma'ake Kemoeatu. Ma'ake retired from the team...in the middle of his career...so that he could (get this) donate a kidney to his younger brother, Chris. Chris was also a football player. He played for t

D.B. of the Week - Adrian Peterson

The story that broke over the weekend about yet another football player behaving badly had a bit more of an impact in our house because Adrian Peterson is really good at running with the ball. My son Jake was constantly showing me Peterson's great runs as a video package. Sam and Jake often spoke about how 'great' Peterson is. That talk has ended. "He's an a-hole," Sam said to me on Friday night. Sam then showed me the photos of Peterson's sons legs and back. He also showed me the text that Peterson sent to the mother of the child explaining why he had to beat the child and how bad he felt about 'catching a nut' while he did it. (Evidently the kid had bruises on his groin as well). I'm not sure if Sam was more angry about it than either Jake or I was. Kathy also viewed the photos and simply shook her head. You know what angered me more about it? Knowing that this week's D.B. of the week still had loud ovations, and fans in a

It's Over

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The first sports star that really captured my attention as a kid was Wilt Chamberlain. Wilt was a huge man who just sort of shook the sports world with his ability. I was a Lakers fan because of him. When he left that team was no longer my favorite. There was also O.J. Simpson - he was the best running back in the league and he was always smiling and it you were from Buffalo you just loved him. His fall from grace, of course, showed us what it means to love these guys. But we do anyway. Then there was Jim Kelly of the Bills. He came into a town that was suffering and immediately there was hope. I loved his arrogance, his lack of fear and the fact that the Bills went to the Super Bowl 4 times while he was here. When he quit, I felt like it would be a long time before the Bills were good again. Yet above all of those guys was Don Mattingly when he was on the Yankees. He didn't win a World Series. But Donnie Baseball was the favorite of all of us as we grew. We stopped family

He Hates A Mess

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My sons were shooting hoops in the driveway. "Come on and play," Sam begged. "We'll go two on one. You and me against Jake." I was heading out to the grocery store (go figure). "I can't play a game," I said. "I can't run on these feet." "Oh, come on!" I headed to the grocery store. As I backed out of the driveway I watched them shoot and it hit me that my time as a Dad is finite. They won't be shooting hoops in my driveway forever. "We'll do a shooting contest when I get back," I said. And there they stood waiting for me as I returned. "Let's go, dude!" I dropped the few bags in the house and laced up my shoes. I told them the rules of the game as I warmed up with a couple of shots that were well short. "You shoot until you miss and count your baskets. We alternate shots. First one to 21 wins. If you miss, you can chance it. If you miss again you go back to zero.&quo

What's the Matter Here?

In light of the Adrian Peterson story I spent the weekend with the following song lyrics in my head. The song is by the 10,000 Maniacs and was written by Jamestown's own Natalie Merchant . There was a time when Natalie was my absolute favorite songwriter and her rendition of this song, on the Unplugged record, is haunting - especially when Natalie howls, "If you don't sit in that chair straight I'll take this belt from around my waist and DON'T YOU THINK THAT I WON'T USE IT!" What's the Matter Here? That young boy without a name Anywhere I'd know his face In this city the kid's my favorite I've seen him, I've seen him every day Seen him run outside Looking for a place to hide From his father The kid half-naked And said to myself "Oh, what's the matter here? I'm tired of the excuses Everybody uses He's your kid Do as you see fit But who gave you the right To do this? We live on Morgan Street Jus

Featured Book of the Week #10 - Oh Brother! The Life & Times of Jeff Fazzolari

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The grief that consumes you is almost too much to handle some times. This I know is true. I spent all of 2009 simply consumed. "What have you written?" my publisher asked. That had been our conversation for the past 20 years. She usually checked in every December. My publisher was now my friend, and she also knew I was in trouble, mentally. "I haven't written anything," I said. "Yes you have," she answered. "I've known you since 1990. You always write." I explained that I had written down a few things about my brother, but that it was all too painful, and it was almost nonsensical. "Send me your notes," she said. Simply ridiculous. But I passed along the 20 pages of jibberish. A day later my phone beeped. I opened the email from my publisher. It was a contract with a deadline. "You have 30 days to make it a story," she wrote. "You need to do this for your brother and your family."

Wacky Week

So... 1). Do you have your I-Phone 6? Not sure, but it doesn't seem like such a big deal to me, however, there are tech geeks out there who line up for every new thing that is sent to market. I have an I-phone 4s, I believe, and it does what I need it to do...so why bother? I don't want to talk to Siri. I don't want a watch with the Internet on it. I also don't want to pay $900 for an upgrade. 2). Really overloaded on the NFL debacle. In fact, my boys were sitting around talking about the fact that ESPN is just beating it to death, as they do every story, as long as it has to do with the NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE (no wonder its the number one sport in the country - it's on constantly!). Here was the exchange: Jake: (Pretending to be a reporter on ESPN) - "This just in: she may have had it coming to her!" (We laughed at the horror of his statement and how ESPN might just further the story). Sam: (Also pretending to be an anchor) - &

Just Getting Started

There's a young man out there who is working as a safety consultant for a fairly big construction company in Erie, Pa. He's just getting started on everything. His marriage is young. He is still learning on the job, but he is also very quick on his feet and has a good rapport with the workers. His wife is 7 months pregnant with their first child. I had lunch with the guy on Tuesday afternoon and I spent a bit of that lunch explaining his future to him. "You won't sleep for shit for about the first 6 months," I said. "I know. I've heard that," he answered. "But it's awesome, right?" I laughed. "Sure it's awesome. It's bigger than anything you can even imagine. You'll sleepwalk through the first year of your baby's life and just when you get back in step your wife will start talking about another one, and then one after that." "Not sure we'll have three," he said. "You hav

Thirteen Years

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Star Spangled Banner Oh, say can you see by the dawn's early light What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming? Whose broad stripes and bright stars thru the perilous fight, O'er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming? And the rocket's red glare, the bombs bursting in air, Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there. Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave? On the shore, dimly seen through the mists of the deep, Where the foe's haughty host in dread silence reposes, What is that which the breeze, o'er the towering steep, As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses? Now it catches the gleam of the morning's first beam, In full glory reflected now shines in the stream: 'Tis the star-spangled banner! Oh long may it wave O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave! And where is that band who so vauntingly swore

D.B. of the Week - Roger Goodell

(The D.B. of the Week is a day early...tomorrow is 9/11) How can this even be avoided? The biggest story of the early week, of course, once more belonged to the National Football League, and once again it was really bad news. Now this isn't the guy from the 49ers who stands accused of hitting his pregnant girlfriend...no...this is old news. On Monday we all had a chance to watch the Ray Rice video where he floored his then-fiance with a devastating left hook. We all knew it happened that way, but we hadn't seen it yet. Back about 3 months ago he apologized for it. The Ravens fans gave him standing ovation after standing ovation. The coach, the team president and his now happy-but-I'm-guessing-only-half-conscious-new-wife begged the league for mercy. And Roger Goodell gave it to him. This is the same guy who throws suspensions around fairly liberally. 4 games for a molly. A full season for a joint. But alas, Rice was suspended for only 2 games. The R

18 More!!!

I know it's not popular, and I doubt it can be pulled off, but I made a conscious decision to skip the National Football League at least for week 1. I am thinking of going the whole year as a protest, but how can that juggernaut league be avoided all together? Sunday was fairly easy because the Yankees were on at 1 p.m., but I wasn't watching them either. I was mowing my Mom's lawn, on a beautiful sunny day. There was even a point when the lawnmower wouldn't start, and being the grease monkey that I am I was able to fix it! (Don't ask me how the hell that happened). But I actually felt better about things. I was skipping the NFL!!! Except I returned home... ...and found out the Bills were winning 17-7 at the half. "They'll lose," I said, and I left the room. Women getting beat. Cheerleaders suing the league. Blackouts. Concussions. NFL doctors handing out pills on the sidelines. No medical bills for former players. We need a new sta

Gratitude Day 1 of 1

Facebook trends have a tendency to invade your life from time-to-time and while I sometimes am idle enough to see which Beatle I would have been (John) or bored enough to know which 80's rock band I most identify with (Springsteen)...I usually scroll on by. Unless a balding, Boston-based, Steelers fan who also happens to write tremendous inspirational books and coaches others in business applications, Mr. John Brubaker, an award-winning author, speaker, health-food nut, and all-around great guy, asks you to do it. Did I mention he's balding? And has that stupid Bahs-ton tone? Dork. Well, John (who I met at an book awards ceremony in dumb Boston) asked me to do an exercise in what I am thankful for...three or five things over 10 days...(or some shit)...but here it is: One good blog on the subject. First off, I have been extremely blessed in my life. I have always been surrounded by great people. I'm astoundingly handsome. I'm overly brilliant, and eve

Featured Book of the Week - House of Miracles

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"Cliff, if you can do this for us..." Trina's voice trailed off. She didn't have to finish her sentence, and now, I would have to write the most ambitious book of my life. You see, Trina's beautiful son, Anthony, was stricken with a mysterious illness that left him needing constant care. Trina might be the greatest Mom in the world. Her eyes sparkled each and every time she spoke about the boy laying in that bed. House of Miracles was a book idea that actually hit me while I was taking a shower. (I'll give you a moment to gather yourself as you chase that image). The night before I had attended a parent advisory meeting at the Women & Children's Hospital of Buffalo and Trina's story had hit me so hard. The 'what ifs' were all centered around: What if I spoke to doctors, nurses, patients, administrators, the hospital chaplain and the hospital photographer? What if I interviewed them and told their story? Now I had a bi

Missing I-Pad

The other morning I was placing my rinsed cereal bowl and empty coffee cup into the dishwasher. Or I thought I was. The dishwasher was full of clean dishes. Now another man may have tossed his dirty stuff into the sink and headed off to work, passing the baton to those who were home for the day to empty the clean dishes. I didn't. I put the clean dishes away and then placed my dirty dishes on the top shelf of the empty dishwasher. And I thought of my Mom and Dad. They did a number on us. Clean up after yourself and more importantly... ...take care of your shit! Yet, it has not been passed down to my children, and I have a sneaking suspicion on why not, but more on that later. We've lost an I-pad. As a matter of fact, I have paid for two I-pads for this home and I have yet to hold one in my hand....even for a minute. My beautiful wife is the candy crush champion of the world so that was a good investment, but the other I-pad kicked around the house from

Can We Talk?

I hate when I am forced to write a blog because of a death, but I have to save a little space for Joan Rivers. I feel bad. She was on Howard Stern within the last month and she was still funny, and still planning ahead and it had seemed to me as I listened, that she had a lot more days left. But time waits for no one. She died yesterday at 81, which, by all accounts, is a pretty good run. But she was still funny. Why did I enjoy her comedy so much? Cause she was balls to the wall and would never apologize for what she said because it supposedly offended someone. Her entire act was about insulting people and finding humor in situations where humor shouldn't necessarily exist. Joan made jokes about the holocaust, the hostage situation in Ohio, her own lack of sex appeal. Hell, she called Justin Bieber a little lesbian.... ...and that alone is worthy of all of our love. She had an amazing life. Her husband killed himself and she was open about talking about i

D.B. of the Week - The Burger King Guy

Haven't you always thought that the Burger "King" was a little disturbing looking? Remember when he was chasing people and crap? Weird. Now, I'm not saying that Ronald McDonald isn't a little strange too, but that is one demented King there. And he gets the D.B. of the week award because it has been widely reported that Burger King is merging with Tim Horton's because they want to move the operation to Canada to avoid paying taxes in the United States where they reportedly earn 60% of their vast empire. This kind of stuff really pisses me off... ...and let me tell you why. The tax loopholes are killing us. The rich are getting richer, and they are not doing it on hard work and taking of risks, they are cheating the system. We are making kings out of CEO's and we are doing it at the expense of... ...the freaking rest of us! I can't even begin to think about the Fortune 500 companies who have their business out of the country so that

NFL Super Bowl Pick

Lord knows I'm not a fan of the corporation that is the National Football League...but let's set that aside for the predictions! AFC East - New England - who the hell else? AFC North - Bengals - But Dalton ain't good. AFC South - Indianapolis - they got the right QB a few years ago. AFC West - Denver - Who doesn't love Peyton? AFC Wild Cards - Friggin' Pittsburgh and Kansas City Yeah...no Bills...they will go 6 and 10. After the season the new owners will fire the coach, the GM and cut the franchise QB they just drafted. The fans will be happy with the changes and excited for the new regime who will be brought in and will talk tough about ending the 15 year playoff curse...rinse, lather, repeat. We'll get 'em next year for sure. NFC East - The Eagles - everyone else sort of sucks. NFC North - Da' Bears - don't ask me why. Just wanted to type - 'Da' Bears. NFC South - Carolina? - Don't know crap about that divisi

Back to School

The years pass quickly, don't they? I recall being excited to return to school for the start of the 9th grade because I had a brand new Bills shirt that I could wear on the first day. Sam is starting 9th grade this year. My last kid in high school. He isn't excited for any of it. He has plenty of Bills shirts. Yet there's a sadness when the kids return to school and Camp Clifford closes up for the year. I had been able to leave a few instructions for them as they stayed home all summer and Sam usually worked to get the every day tasks started at least, and Jake mowed the lawn at a rather leisurely pace. Now they will be talking homework. Kathy will have to force them to get to it. Arguments will ensue about their chance to get it done in study hall. There will be missed assignments. There will be days when I get this message: "Going to __________ after school. Can you pick me up?" And the days will pass quickly. What do I recall about 9th

The Great Stuff

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I've done some resting so far on the Labor Day Weekend, which is what you're supposed to do. Big pot of sauce. Hanging with the beautiful wife, kids and dogs. Like you're supposed to. Ain't that America? But there were also some of those life-changing events within a family and a circle of friends: My niece and the niecettes. Congrats to Katie & Matt who added a second child. Everyone healthy and happy. (You're completely cooked now, Matt). Just perfect and the living proof that God wants us to have some fun as we are tortured down here. Speaking of which: I went to a wedding... ...when I say 'speaking of which'... I meant the fun and not the torture .... But my great friends, the Renaldo's sent their boy, Jason off into marriage with a tremendous wedding. Good food. Laughs and hugs. And I sat around on the outdoor porch at the reception, and looked back inside at everyone dressed, and laughing, and drinking and