Certainty

I was scrolling through Facebook.

There’s a little too much of that going on, but I stopped on a quiz that had Tony Robbins name on it.

“Why not?”

It was 10 questions about personality.

A ‘What is the best option?’ type of thing.

I did the quiz without thinking and it came back to say:

“Your driving force is ‘certainty.’“

Then it went on to say a whole bunch of things about me...

...how being too rigid is bad, but having a set plan has allowed me to get things done.

After the overview alternated between complimenting me and bashing me, I got this sentence:

“You don’t need to know the ending of every story that you are writing.”

Which kind of made me stop.

Because I do need to know the ending.

It’s the one basic strain in our marriage.

I need to know the plan...

...Kathy doesn’t have a plan.

Ever.

“I wanted to surprise you,” she said

“Have we just met? I don’t ever want to be surprised.”

And I’ve always been the way I am.

I wake up and I immediately think about the ten hours in front of me.

And it’s really weird to be trapped into this virus crap.

It’s made the end of each day harder to write when you don’t know what the hell might happen.

Because everything is a surprise!

We are out of masks, ventilators and swabs. We aren’t going to beat this for some time. There’s a counter showing how many people have the virus in the country and in the state...

...there’s another counter of the people who have died.

Nearly every conversation is about the virus.

I have listened to a bunch of conspiracy theories.

Reports from China and Italy are mixed in with misinformation and aggravations.

And we wake up and start it all again...

...and I don’t know the ending.

How is this fun???????

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