Clifford Jones

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I see the Seattle vigilante Phoenix Jones who dresses up in a costume and fights crime without help was arrested yesterday for pepper-spraying a bunch of innocent people on the sidewalk.

He thought there was a fight breaking out, and he was working with his sidekick, Robin (I think), and was going to bring peace to the Starbucks City.

Who among us has not dreamed of being a superhero?

I know that I fashioned myself as a great hero in a great many situations. Most of the time it was to capture the good-looking chick and carry her off to safety where she'd pledge her eternal love.

I got a good-looking chick, of course, my beautiful wife, so of course, the daydreams have certainly subsided. Why fight crime when there ain't a prize waiting at the end?

Of course, we have all dreamed of super powers as well. What would your super power be? The ability to fly? Unbelievable strength? Faster than a locomotive? Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound? Spidey sense?

Me?

I'd like to be invisible.

Now I'm sure that there is most likely a psychological element to that. I'm not saying I want to be invisible so I can escape life although that is sometimes a tempting option.

Once more, it's about the chicks, right?

Think of the places you could go.

Imagine heading into the bank and messing with the tellers? Blowing on the back of people's necks? Triping up your foes as they try and get away?

The possibilities are endless.

And above all else, I really have to wonder if Clifford Jones would use his powers for evil or good.

I would think mostly good, but I do have a sense of humor. I'd be messing with people at every turn.

My favorite part of the Phoenix Jones article is that he dresses in a costume that allows him to flex over-sized fake muscles. Can you imagine that nutbag putting that costume on and telling himself he looks good?

Clifford Jones wouldn't need such a costume to fight crime.

His natural muscles are scary enough.

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