Saturday, July 29, 2017

Too Many Damn People

I was seated in the waiting area at Logan Airport, reading baseball trade rumors on my phone, and listening to Mellencamp.

When I looked up, the entire waiting area, was filled with people.

Hundreds of 'em!

All looking around for a place to plug their phone.

"Excuse me, is anyone sitting there?" A woman asked me, pointing to the obviously unoccupied seat next to me.

"I don't see anyone, do you?" I asked.

I must have delivered it all right because she laughed...plopped down beside me.

A kid of about three, wearing a Spider-Man shirt started doing laps down the middle of the aisle. His mother ran along behind him as if the two of them were doing a performance.

No one looked amused.

And I like kids...I do...but not so much when they aren't mine and especially not when they're screaming and making me move my feet.

I knew I'd lose my seat I I got up, but I had to hit the rest room before the flight.

I was dragging my bag behind me...

...so the business dude on his phone, just talking out loud with his blue tooth in. He was gesturing wildly and actually walking in circles.

Thankfully I couldn't hear the annoying bastard, but I imagined him talking about "thinking outside the box" and "just bouncing this off of you."

I hugged the wall to get by him, but his huge oval took him into my path.

"Oops," he mouthed.

I blew by him.

Dope.

On the plane the guy beside me spread a meal out before him, and then ate noodles with his freaking hands, all the while playing Candy Crush on his I-pad.

The noodles stunk.

And it occurred to me that there are way too many freaking people.

I have to be in the mood for them, or they irritate the piss out of me.

"Excuse me," a lady tapped me on the shoulder as I waited to get off the plane.

"Your shoes are untied."

She whispered it to me, as if she were trying not to embarrass me.

I whispered back.

"I never learned how to tie them," I said.

She looked amazed, but it worked as she didn't have an answer.

"I fall down all the time," I joked.

I've never once stepped on my own shoelaces.

"Okay then," she finally answered.

"Get the hell away from me," I DIDN'T say.

But later I laughed.

Somewhere she's telling the story about the aging man who can't tie his shoes.

People are fun.

If you play with them a little.

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