Delicate Touch

Yesterday I received the notification to complete my harassment training. It’s an on-line session that takes a couple of hours. I have a month to get it done.

Also yesterday, I had to do a 6 a.m. safety meeting for a client that I’ve worked with for 20 years. I got there a few minutes early and there were thirty guys out by the dumpster.

“Morning dipshit,” one of them yelled. “Yankees lose last night?”

“They didn’t play, you dumb bastard,” I called back and there was a healthy laugh. I went straight to the guy.

“I apologize if I hurt your feelings.”

He laughed.

“I had the sensitivity training too,” he said.

I took a few steps into the room and headed for the coffee.

“Have a donut, fat f**k,” another guy said. 

We both laughed.

“Is that politically incorrect?” He asked.

“Not sure, but a little hypocritical since that’s your fourth one.”

That’s a little how my day goes...

...every day.

I take shots for being old, sloppy, a Yankees fan, a good eater, a tad clumsy, a bit loud, and a teller of jokes, both dirty and clean.

I give as well as I take, that’s for sure.

And we have a lot of fun.

I’ve never once had my feelings hurt...

...but things have definitely grown a little weird out there.

I’m not only on the hook for taking the training, I’ve also conducted the training. Here in NYS there is a brand new sexual harassment law that encompasses nearly every possible scenario. It’s a five-part training session that includes a verbal quiz.

“This sucks!”

“Fast-forward this!”

“Why are we doing this?”

Those are the three most heard comments.

I’ve forged my way through, telling a group of people who are used to busting chops all day to respect the line.

“You know when it’s too far,” I’ve cautioned.

And yet there are adjustments to be made.

“Thank God I only have about thirty years left,” one guy said to me. “It’s getting too tough to know how to talk.”

“You ain’t got 30 years left,” I said.

He laughed.

“Stop harassing me!”

“Right back at ya’.”