Sunday, October 16, 2016

Four-Eyed Dork


So, on a beautiful Saturday afternoon I received this little gem from my great friend, Maria.

I started laughing!

Because I thought of so many things all at once.

Yes, that is me.

Think 1973...about 9 years old...shortly after it became known that I needed glasses.

Mom picked out those glasses for me.

"You look so smart," she said.

"He looks like Clark Kent," said Corinne.

"Smart? He looks like the ugly dude from 'My Three Sons,'" said John.

I recall being devastated in that eye glass store.

"The other kids might call you four eyes," the optician said. "Four eyes are better than two!"

I begged Mom not to do it to me.

"I can't stop looking at it!" Maria said as she sent the photo over.

My confidence was shot.

It still is.

But, of course, the best was waiting at home where Dad was.

"What in the hell are you doing to that kid?" He asked Mom once he took a good look at me.

There's a confidence builder!

Mom laughed!!!

She actually laughed!

"He looks cute," she said.

Where in the hell? What in the hell? How in the hell?

Did she see cute in that look?????

Those glasses died a painful death.

Not to say that I didn't wear them...I did...I needed to see.

"People's eyes often improve," he said. "The more you wear them the better chance you have that you'll not need them for too long."

Lying bastard!

I wore them so I could never be seen wearing them!

Corinne used to laugh at those glasses.

Endlessly.

"He looks so dorky," she would very often say.

Really?

I don't see it!

One grand thing did come from it though.

It taught me not to give two shits about the way I looked...

...ever!

"You have hot sauce on your shirt," my 55-year-old lunch friend to me said the other day. 

There was another guy along for lunch.

"You think he cares?" the other guy said.

I should've told them all about the glasses...

...and the lesson Mom taught me so many years ago:

"They aren't laughing with you...

...they're laughing at you!"

Thanks for the laugh, Maria.

I have a feeling I just might be seeing even more of this photo.


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