Meet Joe Shit

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Thank God Jennifer Aniston has finally found love.

Anyway, I was reading today about basketball star Ron Artest changing his name to Metta World Peace.

Yeah, that's his new name.

He is even going to make the Lakers put Peace on the back of his jersey. This is a guy who a few years ago went into the stands and beat the living hell out of a fan who said something mean to him about his mother.

Anyway, with the moniker Clifford...I have often thought about changing my name. I get tired of the Big Red Dog and Clavin references.

And coupling it with a joke that my Dad used to tell, I am announcing that my new name is now...yep...

Joe Shit.

Wouldn't that be sort of cool?

"Excuse me, Mr. Shit...the doctor will see you now."

I could have named my kids Jack and Dip.

There would be no confusion over how to spell it. I am so sick of going, F as in Frank, A as in Apple, Zebra, Zebra, O as in Oscar, L as in Let me get off this friggin' phone, A as in apple again, R as in Ranger Rick and I as in I am so tired of talking to your ass.

Then again a few years back my Dad was trying to spell a word to a coworker who barely spoke English. I was near Pops as he yelled "V!"

"No, not B, V! V....V...V...V...as in Vagina!!!"

The guy on the other end of the line must have laughed because my father laughed and I was crippled in laughter.

"Couldn't you have said 'Virginia'?" I asked.

"First thing that popped into my head and he finally got it," Dad responded.

But I don't think the judge will grant my wish to name me Joe Shit.

He would probably say that it is a bit obscene.

But is it any less obscene to name yourself Metta World Peace?

What a dope.

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