I Sort of Miss Blockbuster

Watched a couple of movies over the weekend. The first one we ordered off of the television and it may have even been free.

It was a piece of crap called "Where the Heart Is" and through it all I kept wondering if it were a comedy (it didn't make me laugh), or a tearjerker (it didn't make me cry) or a romantic comedy (I picked out the guy she'd end up with in the first scene he was in).

It went on and on and on for two plus hours and just before it ended, my beautiful wife asked what I think might happen.

"The only way it ends happy," I said, "Is if they are all crushed to death by a runaway train."

I know that if anyone handed me $200 hundred million I could make the movie that would change the world. So, that's another thing I got going for me. I'd be better than Ron Howard. Speaking of which.

We rented, from RedBox for $1.00 the Ron Howard movie with Kevin James and Vince Vaughn. I was looking forward to it, but it wasn't worth the dollar. Again...not funny...not dramatic...not a love story...and I had a couple of real problems with it.

First off, guys who are best friends don't ever tell each other how they feel. The best you can hope for is a:

"You're a fat, drunken idiot." In guy-speak that means, "I love you."

There are no feelings being discussed, so Ron Howard got that wrong.

And secondly, if your best buddy's wife is banging someone else, there isn't a dilemma.

"Dude, she's whoring around." While shooting a beer is the huge dilemma.

So, I was disappointed.

Yet as I watched I was also let down by another emotion. I surely miss the fights with pimply-faced high school kids at Blockbuster. I lit one kid up because he gave me 99 cents in change once on a $32.01 order for two movies and a couple of games.

"Sorry, no pennies," he said.

By the time I left he had ninety-nine cents to pick out of the carpet.

"Use that for change for the next poor bastard."

Then there was the kid who wanted to charge me an $8.99 fee on a weekly game rental that was a half-hour late.

"Sorry that's our policy," he said. "You have to pay the weekly fee."

"Then give me the game back, I'll keep it for the week."

That kid was so confused with my logic that he may still be thinking about it.

Ahhhh, I miss Blockbuster.

Even if the movies sucked you could torture the kids that worked there.

Comments

John said…
Nice post you fat, drunken idiot

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