Everyone is Happy and Gay
As a kid the term 'gay' really only meant that you were happy. Well, there are a lot of homosexuals all over New York State acting all gay because of the court ruling that passed gay marriage here in the Empire State.
I swear to God, I never got the big fight. I know that the people that oppose gay marriage say that the sanctity of marriage needs to be preserved, but I know a lot of men married to women who don't exactly sanctify the dream of togetherness, and it's certainly vice-versa.
They want to be married, who cares? As a heterosexual man living in this state, who also happens to be happily married, I say that the only way that a marriage will be sanctified is through hard work, mutual respect, and love and commitment. Just because the parts don't line up doesn't mean that the marriage will necessarily fail or that I have the right to say that they can't do what they want. I ain't gay. I don't know how or why they feel slighted.
I must interject however that the idea of marriage, as a business deal, is a pretty lousy proposition. I have no thoughts of not being married to my beautiful wife, but if I did, I'd be taken to the shed and whipped by New York State. If I think I'm broke now, what the hell will happen if I'm back in the rat's nest apartment where she found me dining off the plywood table that my Dad made for me?
I loved that table. You could just write down phone numbers as you ate.
So, I'd like to offer a bit of advice to the happy, errr, gay couples that will soon share the wedded bliss.
1). Pick your shit off the floor. It don't matter who you live with. No one else wants to pick up your dirty underwear.
2). Hey guys, change the toilet paper roll. It drives me crazy when the roll is sitting there empty on the dispenser. It takes about 12 seconds. Why leave it for your new husband?
3). Get separate bedrooms. Yeah, yeah, you're in love and you want to cuddle. Cuddle before you go to bed. Then get in bed and sleep and make all the noises you want, roll all over the place, steal all the sheets, and get a decent night's sleep. This is also good for going to sleep. Perhaps the watching of television might not be such a problem for say a male and a male or a female and a female, but I know for a fact that I will be dozing to Sunday night baseball tonight while my beautiful wife is down the hall watching Nancy Grace reruns.
You have to sit through that crap, you wake up angry.
4). Don't argue about money. Figure out what is coming in...understand who dominates the relationship and just give it all to that person. I decided that this is the best course of action in our grouping and my wonderful wife keeps me in just enough coin so that I don't get busted for loitering.
She seems to really enjoy that aspect of our relationship.
5). And finally...communicate. Letting things fester is the worst of all evils. A few weeks ago I was agitated about something. I tried the silent treatment and it lasted all of about four hours because when I thought about it really hard, I couldn't remember why the hell I was mad.
Letting things out before they become a problem that you're rehashing with your lawyer is a good move on offense as you defend your sanctified union.
Follow my rules and we can all have a gay old time, huh?
I swear to God, I never got the big fight. I know that the people that oppose gay marriage say that the sanctity of marriage needs to be preserved, but I know a lot of men married to women who don't exactly sanctify the dream of togetherness, and it's certainly vice-versa.
They want to be married, who cares? As a heterosexual man living in this state, who also happens to be happily married, I say that the only way that a marriage will be sanctified is through hard work, mutual respect, and love and commitment. Just because the parts don't line up doesn't mean that the marriage will necessarily fail or that I have the right to say that they can't do what they want. I ain't gay. I don't know how or why they feel slighted.
I must interject however that the idea of marriage, as a business deal, is a pretty lousy proposition. I have no thoughts of not being married to my beautiful wife, but if I did, I'd be taken to the shed and whipped by New York State. If I think I'm broke now, what the hell will happen if I'm back in the rat's nest apartment where she found me dining off the plywood table that my Dad made for me?
I loved that table. You could just write down phone numbers as you ate.
So, I'd like to offer a bit of advice to the happy, errr, gay couples that will soon share the wedded bliss.
1). Pick your shit off the floor. It don't matter who you live with. No one else wants to pick up your dirty underwear.
2). Hey guys, change the toilet paper roll. It drives me crazy when the roll is sitting there empty on the dispenser. It takes about 12 seconds. Why leave it for your new husband?
3). Get separate bedrooms. Yeah, yeah, you're in love and you want to cuddle. Cuddle before you go to bed. Then get in bed and sleep and make all the noises you want, roll all over the place, steal all the sheets, and get a decent night's sleep. This is also good for going to sleep. Perhaps the watching of television might not be such a problem for say a male and a male or a female and a female, but I know for a fact that I will be dozing to Sunday night baseball tonight while my beautiful wife is down the hall watching Nancy Grace reruns.
You have to sit through that crap, you wake up angry.
4). Don't argue about money. Figure out what is coming in...understand who dominates the relationship and just give it all to that person. I decided that this is the best course of action in our grouping and my wonderful wife keeps me in just enough coin so that I don't get busted for loitering.
She seems to really enjoy that aspect of our relationship.
5). And finally...communicate. Letting things fester is the worst of all evils. A few weeks ago I was agitated about something. I tried the silent treatment and it lasted all of about four hours because when I thought about it really hard, I couldn't remember why the hell I was mad.
Letting things out before they become a problem that you're rehashing with your lawyer is a good move on offense as you defend your sanctified union.
Follow my rules and we can all have a gay old time, huh?
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