Throwing Your Cell Phone At Your Spouse

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So what do we all make of Johnny Depp and his young, now finished marriage?

His wife, actress Amber Heard, filed the divorce papers with a beat-up face. She claims that the bruises came from Depp's cell phone.

You can tell he's rich...I-phones aren't cheap. Tossing them around is risky.

But the story gets worse.

Heard claimed that she feared for her life and that Depp came close to smothering her with a pillow as well.

All of it is obviously extremely disturbing.

There is no reason...ever...to hit a woman.

Period.

And yet it is done all across this land on a daily basis. Whether Depp did what he is accused of doing is up for debate and it will be sorted out in all the rags and entertainment shows for the next year.

Heard claims that their 15-month marriage was filled with fear.

She also has asked for quite a bit of compensation for her pain.

It always kills me when the expenses of the rich are put out in public for us peasants to see.

Evidently Heard is a big eater.

She claimed that her expenses include $2,000 a month for groceries and another 2 G's for eating out. Then she asked for about ten grand a month for miscellaneous expenses.

Pops and me couldn't do 4 grand a month for food.

We have 5 people living here and we spend about a quarter of the monthly stipend. Four of the five of us are men.

98-pound Amber Heard spends $4 grand a month on food!!

Now as far as Depp is concerned, I always thought that he was a tad off. Have you ever heard him interviewed?

Weird.

Yet weird and wife-beater is hugely different.

Perhaps he was trying to get her to stop eating so much.

(That joke had to be made...sorry).

Yet rich people are odd.

I hope the allegations aren't true.

And if they are...Depp needs more than a divorce...

...he needs a cage.

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