Monday, May 9, 2016

Airlines Suck


I was seated in the airport for what was supposed to be a very quick layover.

Less than an hour!

Then I would be home. Earlier than I thought!

I glanced at the departure board and saw a word flash next to my flight:

CANCELED

"What?"

Yet...I had a backup flight out...they had actually handed me two boarding passes...just in case. I was still good. I just had to wait an extra hour.

Twenty minutes later...that flight was also:

CANCELED

"Now what?"

I headed to the American Airlines desk.

"We're closed," the woman behind the desk said. She was eating something.

"Where do I go?"

"A36," she said.

"Where is that?"

She pointed...went back...to what she was eating.

It was three concourses away.

I walked...and walked..and walked...and that's what I saw when I arrived.

There were three hundred of us in line!

I had another problem.

My bag...which didn't have to be checked...was checked...just in case they didn't have enough room on the plane that was no longer going anywhere!

I could rent a car and drive if I had to.

I just wanted to be home!

An hour and a half after getting to the line I stood before the clerk.

"Before you say anything we don't offer any hotel expense relief as this was not our fault - it's an air traffic control problem."

"Is it my fault?" I asked. "Where is my bag?"

"That would be at Terminal E. We have a lot of options for your flight home."

"Really? Tonight?"

"Not tonight," she said. "But tomorrow!"

"Where do I stay? That hard plastic chair?"

"I don't know," she said, "But we can get you out early."

"Oh, that's just wonderful," I said.

She was able to grasp the sarcasm.

"We'll get you to Chicago and you can get home relatively early in the day."

"I don't know how I can possibly thank you," I said. "Can you get them to hold my bag so I can pick it up?"

"It's at the terminal in the office. No problem."

I actually thanked her.

Then walked...and walked...and walked...to the concourse where I had been two hours before.

I stepped in the office. I wanted my bag...wanted to check into a hotel and wanted to get off my legs which were absolutely devastated.

I handed paperwork to the man.

"Oh, your bag has been rerouted. It's already being loaded onto the plane for your flight."

That was when I lost it.

"ARE YOU F*&$ING KIDDING ME? Did you have someone sitting here waiting to run away with my bag? I just booked the flight!"

"That's how it works," he said. "I can put a trace on it and you will have it within three to four hours. Would you like me to do that?"

"Yes," I said. "And when it gets here, jam it straight up your ass!"

(I wish I would've said that).

Instead I walked out.

I ended up in Chicago to get home from New Hampshire.

30 hours after I got to the airport.

Thankfully, my beautiful wife was going to pick me up.

She left me standing on the curb for 20 minutes.

I was a tad frustrated.

I hate Airlines.

Hate...hate...hate!!!

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