Thoughts of a Common Man

Today is my 25th wedding anniversary. Which is pretty crazy because it truly flew on by. But I was thinking about some of the pain yesterday because we lost Pair-Pair. And instead of dwelling on that emotional hurt, I thought of it from another angle. We built a house where that pain will creep in because we love pretty fiercely. It was a bit of a mess around here because everyone from the cat all the way up was missing one of our own. And the 25 years haven’t been Camelot! When you spend that many days with another person there are a lot of moments when: “I knew you were going to say that!” Comes into play. Sometimes it isn’t a playful thing. And of course, having one person on a rigid schedule and one who is a tad more ‘Go with the flow’ isn’t always wonderful… …but there’s a lot of love around this place. I see it between the siblings. The pets bathe in it… …and here we are at the center of it all. Created it a long time ago… …got a ways left… …God willing. Happy Anniversary to my b...

Gabe Kapler is the manager of the San Francisco Giants. He spoke, at length, about his new policy of not coming out of the clubhouse to stand at attention for the National Anthem. Kapler explained why he was offering up his silent protest because he did not want anyone to think that he was disrespecting the troops or those who fought and died for this country. He explained that he believed that sensible gun laws needed to be passed and that he was ashamed of the fact that there are mass shootings every week. A reasonable and thought-out response that was immediately attacked by those who want something to rage about. I thought of that as I considered the Memorial Day Celebrations set for today. I have images in my mind of heroic men and women who fought for our freedom back in the world wars. We were certainly taught to look on in reverence and I always have, and that will never change. Those people gave up their lives for freedom. Yet, in the last 6 years, the fanciful images of life ...

 It’s 4:00 on Saturday afternoon. I just watched my beautiful dog, Paris, take her last breath. The last voice she heard was mine, as I sang her the song that I sang to her every day for the last 13 years. “Paris France, she can dance. She does the Pair-Pair without her pants. Paris is my buddy, Paris is my girl. Paris wants to get the squirrel.” Yeah. Silly. But every night she also came to my bed and stopped by to see me before she went off to sleep. I went through the list of all the names I had for her. Paris, Pair, Pair-Pair, P, P-dog, Pee Pod, Pee Soup, Paradise, Pair Potato, Pistol, Pistol P and Pistol P the Paravich and Pisser the Kisser. Really silly, right? Paris would give me kisses all the way through. And it was all so sudden. She went for a ride yesterday. Jumped into the car. Sam got out at work and reached back in to give her a kiss and a hug. When she was 4 she got sick. Kidney disease. She needed prednisone every day. Kathy gave her a shot every month. They told u...

I’m organized and efficient. In every aspect of my life. For example: I have 3 phone chargers. One by my bed. One in my car. One where I watch television. Once in awhile, one of mine is missing. Someone borrows it. I say the same thing I always say: “Your garbage shouldn’t interfere with my life.” I’m a firm believer in that. You can believe in whatever you want to believe. Don’t preach it to me. You enjoy shooting guns, great. Don’t shoot me with it. Don’t shoot up society. Whatever it is. Live in your own little world with all of your cherished beliefs, and leave me and my loved ones the hell alone. The funny thing about freedom is that people chant for freedom only when it fits their agenda. “My body, my choice,” was the rallying cry for people who didn’t want to wear masks. Comes to women’s rights the same people say: “You don’t get a choice.” “Second amendment rights are scared!” But a 10-year-olds right to live a life? Not even considered. These are truly troubling times. I drove...

My heart has been so heavy all week. I’ve listened to anguished parents wail in horror as they spoke of their beautiful murdered children. I drove past a funeral procession for those murdered here in Buffalo. And I’ve tried my best not to listen to the: “Forks don’t make you fat,” morons. But Ted Cruz, man. It’s hard to miss him. He’s tried to get in front of every microphone on every station to tell us how ‘fervently’ he’s praying for answers to this real pickle of a question. A couple of years ago it was because there weren’t enough Christians. Texas is 93% Christian. Japan is 2% Christian. Guess which place has more mass shootings? So, he needed a new talking point. The doors!!! I’d say watch the video but you probably don’t want to because Ted Cruz is in it, but he tries his best to sell his new theory. “The back door was unlocked!” Yeah. “We need to have a front entrance and an armed guard seated there.” That’s what we had in Buffalo. A security guard with a pee shooter has zero c...

Seriously. There are senators who will be speaking next week at the NRA celebration next week. This week they are posting the: “Heidi and I are fervently praying” tweets. They are not careful not to write ‘thoughts and prayers’ because that has been so roundly mocked. Not they look for words they can put in front of ‘prayers’ so their mutant followers believe that they’re sincere. Know what’s the worst part??? They ain’t praying. No way. I had college professor who once told me: “You can’t fake sincerity.” Now, obviously, you CAN fake it, but what he was speaking of was people seeing right through you. How can you be fervently praying when part of your job is to bring these tragedies to a halt and you won’t even consider options? Sick of it. Beyond comprehension. I heard one Mom speak of her deceased son: “He was such a Momma’s boy.” Just that simple sentence made me feel it in my heart. That poor Mom. The light has gone out for her, no matter how much longer she lives. And why???? Bec...

Elementary school children. Less than a week away from the end of the school year. Shot to death in their little chairs. Read that again! You know what I did when I heard about it? I clicked on the first news story about it and read the first four comments. Guy one was talking about how the gun didn’t do it.  Guy two mentioned the Hispanic last name of the suspected shooter. Guy three brought up the soft zone and how teachers need to be ready with their own guns. Guy four said that the shooting was staged by Democrats so they can steal all the guns. I almost threw up. Same damn tired clichés. And you know what? This shooting will stay in the news for 3-5 days. Maybe less depending on when the next one happens. Coincidentally, I was on Michigan Avenue yesterday. About 4 blocks from the Tops Market where 10 died in a shooting. I passed a church, and saw a news reporter holding a microphone. Saw anguished faces moving down the sidewalk. The funerals. I saw the hearse pull up and check...

And so goes the dumbest dust up in baseball history. Josh Donaldson of the Yankees, who I hated when he wasn’t on the squad, ran by Tim Anderson who also never shuts up and said, “Hey, Jackie.” It almost started a brawl. Seems to be a few years back, Anderson referred to himself as the new Jackie Robinson because he was bringing fun back to baseball. Now that’s not exactly what Jackie did, and the comparison falls sort of flat, but he can say what he wants. Maybe he feels like he’s responsible for bringing more black men into the sport. Thing is: He called himself ‘Jackie’. Donaldson was just busting his stones about it. Which, on its face is kinda’ funny. But in this day and age, everything is an outrage!!!! LaRussa called it racist. How in the hell is it racist?? I can’t figure that one out. Then MLB jumped in and suspended Donaldson for being disrespectful! Okay. Pretend Donaldson called himself Babe Ruth in an interview, and then Anderson ran by and called him ‘Babe’. Is that disre...

People in the business world are big on preaching work-life balance and for most of my working life I’ve struggled to get it right. I feel weird when I’m not working on a perfectly good work day and around Camp Clifford there is always work to be done when you’re the camp counselor. We saw the weather report for Sunday so we golfed on Saturday and I visited with Mom after the round, so I woke up thinking; “I don’t have anything to do.” The. I thought: “And I’m gonna’ do absolutely nothing today.” We watched a few shows. Played with the dogs and the cat. I did make breakfast and dinner and did cleanup a little, but by 6:00 the car hadn’t moved, and some of the pain in my body was subsiding. I used the massage gun on my shoulder, back and neck. I only napped for about ten minutes, but I seriously had no energy all day. Then: I had to move the car. The dogs simply wouldn’t let me get away with not having bones in the house. I made it to the Dollar Store and stood in line as  brand new...

We’re a half dozen rounds into the golf season and I’ve been pretty consistent. My highest score of the year is only 7 strokes above my lowest score. I’ve been hitting the ball pretty consistently, but have been making stupid mistakes in each round. Some times from one hole to the next. And there is so much in play. It kind of mirrors life a bit. Golf is always more than just chasing a ball around a field.  How does it pertain? 1). Be Prepared. I try and stretch to get ready. I also use visualization as a technique and often envision the first drive of the day. Problem being, I’m truly struggling off the first tee! My swing is lousy when I get too fast through the swing zone and despite the fact that I try to remain under control it appears that I’m over anxious and I’ve been yanking that first shot to the left. 2). Be Confident Golf is an extreme mental sport. ‘If you think you stink’ has been a rallying cry in our foursome. So, I have plenty of solo conferences throughout a round...

Had a dream that I made-out with Jennifer Aniston. Was a pretty vivid one and I know that there were two people in the room watching: Courtney Cox And My Beautiful Wife The thing is, I woke up shaking my head and laughing about it, and while I hate when people recount their dreams, I’ll give you the cliffs notes version. I made out - kissing and groping only - with Friends era Jen, and there was very little dialogue. We were all gathered around a table at what appeared to be a wedding. Jen came on to me, and I turned to my wife and said: “She wants to kiss me.” “Whatever,” Kathy said. “Go for it. I’m talking to Courtney.” And that was it! Woke up laughing. Made my nightly trek  to the bathroom and then headed back into bed. I had two more hours of sleep. Closed my eyes and tried to get back to kissing Jen. She wasn’t around anymore. Damn! Aren’t dreams weird? (I knew I could get her).

Typically I ignore the world news while I’m at work. It’s going to have to be an extraordinary story to reach me as I start the day with the baseball channel and then switch over to Dan Patrick. There are also days when I’ll tune into Howard Stern or just straight up listen to music. I started going in that direction in the middle of the last presidential term and it made my life better. But by the end of the day, I hit Twitter to see what’s happening. On Thursday afternoon I saw that the House passed a bill to help with the shortage of the baby formula. I noticed that there were a lot of ‘No’ votes though. Every. Single. Republican. (Except one) Explain that to me… …they voted against babies? The second story was about doing something to stop the price gouging at the gas pumps that is crippling American citizens. It also passed the house, and I wondered why the vote was so close! Every single Republican voted against the relief! Explain that to me!! A domestic terrorism bill was next ...

I resisted watching ‘This is Us’ when it first came on. It was too popular. I figured there was something wrong with something everyone loved. Then I watched a few episodes in a row and was hooked. We are coming down to the last couple of episodes. Here are some realities to it all: 1). Mandy Moore is beautiful. She remained beautiful all through the show. All the way to the end. 2). The episodes that truly got to me were the ones that showed Jack as a Dad. I had a terrific Dad who wasn’t perfect all the time, but his love was.  Jack knew what made each of his kids tick. That was my Dad’s greatest strength. He wasn’t a writer, but he could talk to me about it. Dad knew when to reach out, and when to be strong. And like Jack. He loved us above all else. My siblings and I spent some time just marveling at the writing.  3). The sibling rivalry and the sibling love also spoke to me and my siblings as well as my wife and her siblings. The relationships weren’t always perfect. None ...

Spent the day in the New England area and I have a pretty healthy back and forth with the people here. Of course, they all know that I’m from Buffalo so when the Pats were good (when Tommy was there) and the Bills were bad… …I’d take a bit of a beating. There’s also the whole Yankees-Red Sux battle… …so… …I get greeted the same way I do at home. “Oh shit. Look who’s here!” (I enjoy that I’m roundly booed in a wide number of states). Funny thing happened yesterday though. “Man, I feel so bad for you in Buffalo,” one guy said.  It took me a minute. “Have you ever been to that store?” “Yeah. Plenty of times,” I said. “Is it in a predominantly black area?” The guy asked. “Definitely,” I said. “But the thing about it is that I never once thought about it,” I said. “Everyone is friendly. There isn’t any thought about black or white.” As I said it, I noticed a second man in the room. A black man. “Some truly messed up crap,” he said. They surrounded me a bit, asking questions about the sh...

I grew up in a small town that was mostly 100% white. We did not have a black kid in our high school. We had a few kids who were of Hispanic origin, but for the most part we were lily white. We heard a lot of ethnic jokes, but there were also polish jokes, jokes about women and Italian jokes. I thought that most of the jokes were not malicious, but I was a kid. What did I know? When I was ten years old the family went to Florida as that’s where Dad’s job was. That was where we first saw a black man. In fact, Bernie & Gloria were a black couple who were tasked with babysitting six Fuzzy kids! No easy task. We all loved Bernie & Gloria. When I close my eyes, I can still hear Bernie’s booming laugh. Another man, Buck, was a laborer on Dad’s job. Buck took us fishing and crowed in amazement when my brother, John, caught a 5-pound bass in a bucket. And that was it. For a long while. We watched black athletes play professional sports. Henry Aaron and Wilt Chamberlain were my favorite...

Hatred. It’s such a hard thing for me to understand because I simply don’t have any in my heart. Certainly not for any group of people. Definitely not over anything as mindless as the color of their skin. I went grocery shopping yesterday at Tops. I thought about it as I pulled into the parking lot. What would happen if the worst thing happened? And it’s not quite so rare anymore. There was a shooting at a church in Southern  California on Sunday. They’re saying it may have been a White Nationalist. A couple of hours later, there was another masa shooting in Houston. There will be more this summer. Because there’s nothing to be done. Not when half the government is gleeful of taking shots with everyone in the family holding assault weapons by the Christmas tree. The gutless man who gunned down 10 innocent people here in Buffalo had been identified as someone with a troubling mental issue on his resume. He bought 3 guns, legally, and was dressed like a World War II combatant. Why wo...

I often stop at the Tops on Jefferson in the City of Buffalo. There was a mass shooting there on Saturday afternoon. My first thought was that it was in a black neighborhood and a buddy of mine texted that the shooter that was apprehended was a white man dressed in camouflage. My heart sunk. Got sick to my stomach. Because instantly, I knew. I knew that a number of innocent black men and women died simply for the color of their skin. I knew that there would be a manifesto of sorts that was filled with complaints about the fact that ‘whites are being replaced’. I knew right where the shooter got that information. It’s broadcast each night by nonsensical talking heads on a fake “news” show. My son was around when the news first broke. I relayed some of the early information. He knew too. “It’s just sad,” he said. Being replaced. My God! I’m sick for the poor families who lost loved ones to the idiot who is being fed disinformation and feels the need to hurt others. So sad. So incredibly ...

So, they started the work at around 8:30 a.m. Two guys from the construction crew that I’ve known for a long, long time. Both are much younger than me. They had to remove and replace the facia on the front of my house so the new gutters could be installed. Yeah. Great fun. “We ain’t tying off,” they both said. “Don’t have to,” I said. “You’re less than 10’ up on the scaffold plank.” “We ain’t cleaning up. That’s one you.” I laughed. “I can do that.” We live in an area where squirrels 🐿 think all the homes are fair game. They loved the front of my house. No more! By 1:00 they were all done. I had cleaned as they went and even got up on the scaffold to paint the trim around one of the windows. “I ain’t comfortable with you up there,” one guy said. “He climbs all right for an old guy,” the other mentioned. Wise-asses. And of course, nothing is cheap these days. But what can you do? Better than living with squirrels 🐿!

Oliver has a toy that we have nicknamed “Humpy”. For obvious reasons. Ollie has a love/hate relationship with ‘Humpy’. He’s not very nice to her. Tosses her all around the room before romancing her. I laughed because after I called out for Ollie to get ‘Humpy’ I thought of another legendary doggy toy. Our dog, Sam, loved an old stuffed monkey. He carried ‘Monkey Man’ from room to room and would drop it at my feet so I could throw it for him. Whenever I wanted to get Sam going I would ask, very loudly, “Where’s Monkey Man?” Well. I was away at college and as one tends to do, I came home early one weekday to try and get my laundry done. I walked in the house and passed the laundry room where my Mom was taking stuff out of the dryer. I said ‘Hello’, but evidently she didn’t hear me… …because a few minutes later I called out to Sam, using my two-word command: “MONKEY MAN!” My poor mother was like that old cartoon cat who gets scared out of its skin and ends up on the ceiling. She screamed!...

I had a sore back on Tuesday. I’d also climbed a half a dozen ladders and was just tired. To make matters even better, I had to stop at the grocery store on the way home for a few things. One cashier. I was 4th in her line. The very last thing I want to do in that situation is talk to a stranger, but I was getting weird looks from the woman directly ahead of me. She was giving me a goofy smile. Finally, I said, “How you doing?” “Can I ask you a personal question?” She asked. She didn’t wait for my answer. “Did you go to church on Sunday?” Wasn’t a question I wanted to answer. “I just want to get my groceries,” I said. She laughed. “Oh, I appreciate that, but I think it’s my word to spread the good word. A life of eternal damnation in hell is what we are all trying to avoid, right?” Now I was getting a tad aggravated. Her goofy smile was what was doing it. “Now, you figure that Satan is in charge of hell, right?” I asked. She nodded. “You figure that Satan is going to punish us in a fie...

The Yankees game was running late. Started at 7:00 and it was finally winding down around 11:00. I decided to shut it off. I could check the score in the morning. Besides they were down 5-3 and Toronto has a good closer. But. I can’t sleep if I know they’re playing. I put the score up on my phone. Two on in the 9th for Judge. Strike one. Strike two. I was in and out of sleep. Chances are he strikes out. Can’t expect a guy to homer in that situation. Ball away. Foul. Then. “In play runs”. That’s fun because either one, two or three runs could’ve scored. I waited. Got a text. “Judge!!!” Knew it was a home run before it even became official. Saw the video ten seconds later. Slept better.

It takes awhile to get the yard into shape after what amounts to 8 months of staying inside. We have some serious challenges this year, and I already got the mulch down! 1). Replace the gutter - A large section of our gutter came down. Was during the April snow event. Jake came through the front door and announced that a section of the gutter took out the mailbox. The gutter was filled with ice. In April. 2). Replace the Mailbox. See above. 3). Weed Wacker problems - it wasn’t working right when I tried it yesterday. I decided to put my mechanical skills to good use. Out of string. That may not be a problem for you, but last time I tried to get the string for it I made 3 trips to the store because I purchased the wrong product. When I finally got the right one I wrote it down so it would never happen again. Can’t find where I wrote it. 4). Push mower #1 - The handle broke on my mower. I got so sick of it that I stopped by a road side shop and bought a second hand mower. I figured that ...

Spent part of the afternoon with Mom and Kathy and it was a lovely, easy conversation. We talked a little bit about our wedding anniversary which ends the month, and some of those from town who are no longer with us. Which brought us around to the neighborhood and how it was once alive with the sound of laughing children. “There were so many kids on this street,” I said. “And they were usually here,” Mom said, with a laugh. “Now everyone is gone.” But that shifted us into talking about where Mom grew up. She mentioned each neighbor, house by house and we talked about some of the people living there now. Then it was on to an old dog or two and time we spent in Florida (in 1974!) and California in the 80’s. “We had a lot of fun.” We certainly did. On the way up Shirley Road on the way home, we passed by the round barn. “Hear about the guy who died there?” I asked. “Yeah,” Kathy said. “He couldn’t find a corner to piss in.” I laughed. My Dad said that every single time we passed that old ...

I was blessed with a tremendous Mom!  She worked so hard for us. Every day! She taught me to respect women and she stood toe-to-toe with a challenging Dad and always, always, always had our back! I never, even once, had a cross word with Mom and I sat beside her at the dinner table. My Mother-in-law is sadly missed today. Another legend of a Mom! She was there for my kids. She thought they were her kids! The love she showed us was immeasurable. I really miss her! (We didn’t have any cross words either…but she’d fight me about sports!) And my beautiful wife is also a great Mom. She worries for these hoodlums and is involved in all of their little battles. Battles that I often don’t hear about until much, much later. Cross words? Come on, now, she’s my wife… …not my Mom! But I’ve been blessed! Truly blessed to be surrounded by strong, smart women who knew the job. And did it with love!

It’s truly amazing to me that there are so many books out there by former members of the former guys staff. All of them are trying to rehabilitate their images and to try and garner favor. They’re now admitting that they were horrified when it was suggested that bleach be ingested to cure Covid, or that the insurrection was planned, or that the election results were legit. Someone (I don’t even know who) said that one of the ideas floated was to shoot protesters who were marching to protest cops killing black men. To his credit, I suppose, he only suggested that they shoot them in the legs. Then yesterday another guy (who claimed to be horrified and who also claimed that he only stayed to try and save the Democracy) told the world that it was suggested that the United States bomb Mexico and that he would then deny ordering the bombing if anyone asked. The dude responsible for all that crazy stuff is currently the leader of the Republican Party. What’s worse? “Bombing Mexico is a great ...

I watched the HBO show, “Made for Love” last night because the first-place, best team in baseball, the 27-Time World Champion Yankees had a day off. The show is pretty funny and features Ray Romano (who I’ve always liked) and some futuristic stuff including what amounts to travel around the globe with a snap of the fingers. Made me think about where I’d like to go. Wouldn’t it be amazing to be able to spend a week back in a specific location at the same age you were then? I’m thinking a week back at Gannon with my roommates at the age of 20. Damn that would be a blast. Or a week in North Collins with my buddies from the Lions softball team 🥎 playing at Renaldo field and winning a playoff game and celebrating. Or a week in Mountain View, California with my brothers and sisters and Mom and Dad. I’d be able to play hoops again, and drink a lot of beer. Or how about New Haven, Connecticut at my first real job, with my writing career just getting going. So hungry. So fired up. Years and ye...

I don’t know what to eat! It’s been about six weeks since I got a high reading for glucose in my blood work. And I didn’t learn much about what it could be or what I had to do. They called in a script and so I took the med and started doing some OCD stuff about what I could eat. I was afraid to eat a piece of toast! So, I talked to a few guys who had a similar diagnosis. “I eat what I’ve always eaten,” one guy said. “Just a little less. The pill has to have something to do.” That didn’t work for me. I found myself eating a small bowl of cereal and then even smaller amounts of protein for lunch. No bread, no sugar. Also, no energy and the med made me sluggish. Ran into another dude. He was eating a raspberry pastry and offered me one. I told him about the diagnosis. “I give myself a shot of insulin every day,” he said. “I eat what I want when I want. Life is too short.” He’s a big, big man. Life might be shorter than he thinks with that approach. So what’s next? Another blood test. Anot...

So the government doesn’t have the right to insist that you wear a mask in a pandemic. But a government can regulate your decision on birth control or what a woman decides to do with her body. A government has no right to dictate how many guns a citizen owns. But a government can decide who one brings into their own bedroom. Seems as if the separation of church and state is a basic tenet of our governmental philosophy, but decisions being bandied about appear to be heading in the direction of religious beliefs of a chosen few. Here’s the skinny on abortion. Know when there are less abortions across the land? When Dems are in charge. It’s an easily looked up fact.  Why would that be? Because of the counseling and the birth control provided. Because the lives of the women involved in such decisions actually matter. This is a crazy time to be alive. I’ve been saying that since about 2016. The divide in this country is the size of the Grand Canyon and it’s growing. Do we care about the...

The Yankees have been playing good baseball to start the season. I’ve been trying to stay quiet about it because I hadn’t chirped at all as they started a winning streak. I also keep the screen saver on my phone the same when they win so I have been staring at the same picture for a long time now. I have also kept track of the early parts of the game on my phone before watching the later innings on television. “Want to put the game on?” Kathy asked early. “No. They’re winning.” “What?” So, I told her about the streak and the superstitions. Then I sent a couple of texts to a Red Sux fan and a Mess fan. Chirping. Toronto immediately scored twice to tie it. Damn! I shouldn’t have changed anything! “You do realize that you have absolutely nothing to do with whether they win or lose,” Kathy said. “They’ve won 9 straight because I’ve been consistent,” I said. “Something wrong with you.” Obviously.

Ozark came out on Friday. Finished it on Saturday night. It was one of those series where you truly didn’t have a good person to root for. Except Ruth, of course, who was great, but in the end, if everyone got what they deserved… …they’d all be gone. Of course, I can watch Jason Bateman in any show. A great actor. He was having a conversation with his horrid wife and as she spoke he just calmly said: “That’s enough.” Got up and walked away. I laughed out loud. “You’re going to use that, huh?” Kathy asked. “Can use it almost every day,” I said. We watched the climactic ending and I knew there was a two-word question coming: “Now what?” Bosch is coming back with a new series. We got excited. “Starts May 6th,” I said. Kathy groaned like that was three years away. The golden age of television. No doubt.