Thoughts of a Common Man

I had a busy work week. And in the back of my mind I kept thinking about the Holy Weeks of my past. 45 or so years ago I’d spend the entire week in church, or so it seemed. As an altar boy, we were all expected to take our turn. The Good Friday stations of the cross was the one that we all tried to avoid. There was a whole bunch of standing, kneeling, moving and praying. It seemed to last a long time, and if you complained about it... ...the priest would explain about the 40 days and 40 nights. The subject of all the time we spent at church came up recently as a whole bunch of priest’s names hit the news, as having been accused of molestation through the years. My siblings and I were split on what that news meant to us. “After seeing “Spotlight” I’ve had a hard time heading back to church,” one sibling said. To be honest, it had much the same affect on me. Yet, Mom was there. “I still enjoy church,” she said. I agree with that too. The community of church has ...

I watched the Roseanne reboot. Both shows. Loved it. It was like putting on an old pair of shoes... ...speaking of which, I had to do some training on Wednesday and went from my work boots to my sneakers. Was lacing up the old sneakers, pulled the laces tight and felt something weird. I looked and the bottom of the left sneaker was blown out. I now had a choice...six hours in heavy boots, or the busted up sneaks. Maybe I could get away with it. “Why the hell is wrong with your shoe?” The first guy I saw asked. I gotta’ buy better sneakers. Anywhoa... Yeah, Roseanne is a loudmouth. “She’s so loud,” my beautiful wife mention And she is. Always has been, but the writing on the show is good. Sara Gilbert, Laurie Metcalfe and John Goodman are great... ...and the Trump-Clinton fight is kind of comical when it’s played out in fantasy land. The show garnered more than 18 million viewers. Good enough. I’ll watch next week... ...unless... ...I read an article th...

I didn’t actually believe that someone could crush those kids, but once again, I was way too rosy in my outlook. There were plenty of people willing to disparage the kids who were the face of the March for Life on Saturday. Nasty stuff. Fox News was up front about how they were mere children who had no business taking center stage. Rick Santorum said the absolute dumbest of all things by suggesting those kids should take CPR courses instead. Is there a CPR course that stuffs blood back into the bodies of their classmates who are full of lead? Trump ran off to his golf course. He had zip to say. But at least he didn’t take out shots at the children... ...the talking heads did. I couldn’t even stomach some of the things I heard. I saw a photo of the children as they got ready to appear on “Ellen”. They were smiling. They were ripped for smiling. A meme went around talking about how they were crisis actors and that it was all staged in an effort to grab their pre...

Seems a little weird as we’re still freezing our asses off and they’re calling for snow on Easter Sunday, but one of the best days of the year has finally arrived! Opening Day! The 27-Time World Champion Greatest Franchise in the History of Organized American Sports is ready to hammer one baseball after another over the left-field Wall, into the monuments, into the black, and opposite field into the short porch at the cathedral known as Yankee Stadium. Can Judge and Stanton threaten the 115 that Maris & Mantle hit in ‘61? Here we go! N.L. East: The Nationals have one last chance before Bryce Harper gets a half-a-billion in free agency. They’ll win the division easily. The hapless Mets, and the pathetic Phillies are going to be runner-ups, and the Braves are young and coming. Sorry, Larry. Not this year. Jeter and the Marlins will lose 100. Nationals N.L. Central: The Cubs will win it although I remain unconvinced that they’re great. Yu Darvish got $140 million...g...

If Michigan, who is favored, beats Loyola-Chicago And if Villanova, who is favored, beats Kansas And if ‘Nova, who will be favored and who I want to win, beats Michigan... ...my bracket will be number one. Couple of problems: I’ll be unable to watch the final game because of anxiety issues. ‘Nova winning a close game would zap all the fun out of it for me. If they win, I win. If they lose, I lose. How can they even play in that game?? I may be throwing up before the ball is even tipped. Also, Sam is a huge ‘Nova fan... ...if something goes awry my poor son may not speak until about August! I’ve been in this position before. Years ago, Maryland and me had the exact scenario. The Terrapins pulled it off... ...but the two hours of game time was pure agony for me. I’m not looking forward to it. Yet, it’s the right to brag that I’m chasing. My pool is entered in a tourney with 125 other entries. I want first! I want to brag obnoxiously about how stoooopid...

George Will made a comment about how the number of school deaths is actually fairly low. Guess he hasn’t lost a kid in a hail of bullets. Is there an acceptable number? And that’s why there was a march on Saturday. It’s gone on way too long. I don’t know what George Will is thinking. We now have a whole generation of children who have sat in closets in their classrooms, practicing hiding from gun-toting maniacs. Is that normal? I also don’t understand the whole “more guns are needed” argument. It doesn’t make sense. We just had a series of bombings... ...didn’t hear even one person suggest that we needed to introduce more bombs to the scenario. Yet, I think there’s a chance for movement. I really do. Most Americans believe that the answer to this heretofore unsolvable problem is to keep guns and mentally disturbed people separated. It’s almost a unanimous consensus... ...by the citizens. What is weird is that what we seem to desire is being roundly ignored b...

There are so many times during the course of a regular day when I’ll be amazed by how quickly time has flown by. Springsteen mentioned that the sad thing about getting older is that the blank slate and the endless possibilities aren’t quite so endless. We wear out! I thought about that when it dawned on me that my brother, Jim is 50 years old today! 50! I fought with him over a View Master when he was about 6. And when you lol back there are so many memories, laughs, moments where you just realize... ...that family is where it’s at... ...and love you like a brother is a real thing. It just sucks that life gets in the way... ...I haven’t seen much of Jim this past year... ...we all working, raising kids, battling health difficulties and battling some more. “I keep moving through the dark, with you in my heart, my blood brother.” That line gets a lot of play in our lives. Our parents taught us to have one another’s back. Jim has always helped all of us... ...

On Thursday night, I stayed up an hour and a half later than I usually do. Kentucky was playing freaking Kansas State and since that entire region had blown up... ...I was the only guy who would score points with a Kentucky win. And a funny thing happened. A kid named Washington kept going to the free throw line... ...and clanking free throws. I yelled at him late in the 2nd half and scared my poor sleeping dog. Practice! The kid's form wasn't bad. "It's in his head now," the announcer said. And I thought back to my own playing days. I was a really good free-throw shooter. We used to practice a lot during the JV Days and we would document how many we made out of 30. One day, I made all 30. The guy who was rebounding for me told the coach that I hadn't missed yet and a bunch of people gathered around as I kept going. I made it to 44 in a row. The coach gave me an autograph of Nate "Tiny" Archibald. (Chris Slupinski, lat...

Pretend for a moment that the bomber in Austin had been named Abdul-Rahman-Mohammad. The narrative would’ve been a lot different, right? Instead of the nerdy, troubled kid from a God-fearing family we might’ve had some wild tweets about the need for a wall, a travel ban, and a purge. Weird how that works, huh? This kid won’t warrant much thought... ...crap happens. And my least favorite aspect of digesting yesterday’s news were those who immediately went forth and posted that “maybe we should ban bombs!” We have. That’s why there haven’t been 20 school bombings since January 1. Yet, back to this troubled kid. He hated gays. Was anti-abortion. Appears that he was a Home-schooled, religious zealot who had bronchitis when the compassion lessons were taught. He learned zero tolerance for others who choose to live a life that strayed from his religious beliefs. Evidently he believed that those who were different... ...deserved to die. He certainly terrorized his co...

We had six dollars worth of Powerball tickets on Saturday. As a family we played a little game of pretending that we won the $450 million dollars. “I’d never work,” Sam said. “Ever.” “I’d quit school immediately,” Jake chimed in. I have some ambitious kids. And chances are, I’d be the only one who’d ever attempt to ever do anything ever again. I’d still write, of course, but there’d be a lot of sleeping in going on at Camp Clifford. “I ain’t moving, either,” Sam said. “I have no desire to be in a new house or a different city. I’m good. Right here.” So, Sam is content. “We’d just give you the house then,” Kathy said. “We’d go somewhere warm.” I started thinking about wishes. We’ve all played the ‘find a lamp on the beach and the genie pops out’ game. It changes as you get older. I’d have to think about wishing I were 25 again. Money would have to be involved, but I’d wish for happiness for my family... ...another dozen years for my dogs. Health would certa...

My God. I recently watched the series on the Unabomber and the series was really upsetting, as it should be. To think that someone would be so far gone...to send murder through the mail. I also thought about the sniper who terrorized the beltway back about ten years ago. Shooting innocent people. Heartbreaking. And the people of Austin are now being terrorized as well. The guy will be caught, of course, and I’m hoping it’s before I finish writing this blog, but it stands to reason that there will be someone to take his place. We keep bailing water when it comes to the mentally deranged violent offenders, but it doesn’t appear that we are fixing what is clogging the drain. When things happen every day, and we hear about them instantly, we fee that terror. “Violent crimes are actually down,” someone will post whenever these stories pop up. Doesn’t feel that way, does it? Trip wires, packages being delivered, packages being left. I don’t know any of the answers. ...

I remember when I signed up for Facebook. It’s been about ten years now, hasn’t it? My sister, Carrie was the one who told me that I had to sign up, telling me that it’s fun. I certainly believed that it was all about fun, right? I definitely used it for fun... ...getting back in touch with old friends... ...telling a joke or two. Yet, there were warning signs. The political arguments grew fierce. Some people were nasty. But to think that something as what I thought was harmless fun... ...has actually been part of a sinister network of fake news and manipulation. I missed it. It just didn’t seem plausible. Who would even think of it? Well, apparently some people did. They worked on mind control. The news that hit the platform wasn’t always accurate. Who knows what to believe anymore? After every championship game in any sport there’s an add that comes out that says that the star of the big game has huge trouble because he’s been found to have taken ill...

My entire weekend was spent on a couch or in a bed, watching basketball. One game after another... ...checking the brackets. “The key is to make it through the weekend,” I told the boys. “You just want to have a chance next week.” The games have been fun. On Thursday, Arizona went down in their first game, taking one of two of Jake’s bracket with them. On Friday, Virginia got beat by UMBC a 1 losing to a 16, and Jake lost his 2nd bracket. The one quote I can repeat was: “Make it through the weekend?” He asked. “I didn’t make it TO the weekend!” Sam and Kathy have brackets that are still alive, and so do I. Yet, it was the perfect weekend for it. I was tired and extremely sore, so I was in a good spot. “Do you actually like watching all the games?” Kathy asked. “Uh, yeah.” Still, it’s the excitement of the boys that carries it. Sam watched almost every minute, and he knows all the players from all the teams. “Remember him from last year?” Sam asked, at one po...

So, the once a week Trump Update. Been a fun week, huh? There have been moments, during this eternally long mess, when I’ve been surprised by the depths at to which he’ll sink. Making fun of the disabled reporter should’ve ended it. The Access Hollywood tape REALLY should’ve ended it. Both were shrugged off rather easily. Claiming his opponent should be handled by those who like the 2nd amendment was borderline criminal. Yet, those who defend him were too busy yelling, “Lock Her Up” to hear it. And somehow, someway... Clinton was cast aside. Yet he found new enemies. The media. The FBI. Everyone in both organizations is crooked. He hugged Comey after being elected... ...then fired him. Promoted McCabe... ...blasted Sessions, who recused himself. Well, last night, Sessions (who lied, lied and lied some more during congressional hearings) fired McCabe (who’d already resigned) for lying. Sessions is recused! McCabe was promoted by Trump! Trump pic...

My beautiful wife started off her birthday celebration by waking at 3:45 to start her 5:00 shift. It should be illegal to have to work on your Birthday. Of course, there wasn’t a night before celebration because she was getting a little sleep as me and the boys watched Virginia go down as the number 1 overall seed while we also drafted our fantasy baseball teams. “Keep it down a little, huh?” Was her rallying cry before she went up. (We were good. No one talks anymore. We could just text with exclamation points!) But let’s not feel all bad for her... ...she had a two-hour Massage. She has played a bit of bingo. “We can go to dinner tomorrow,” I said. “I’ll be tired. I know you’re tired. You’ll all be watching the tourney. I don’t care,” she said. But it’s her birthday! She cares!! Everyone cares on their birthday!!! And I’m sure that Kathy always rather enjoyed that her birthday falls on St. Patrick’s Day, but she probably never realized that birthday week fal...

Old Burt was on the Today Show on Thursday morning, and Hoda walked across the studio to go and say hello to him. ‘Cause he couldn’t get up. He spoke to her when she arrived, and I had no way of knowing what he said. His voice isn’t strong enough. And it made me pretty sad. Burt Reynolds was a huge star when I was a kid. His Smokey and the Bandit movies were must see... ...he was tough, and he had the great laugh. There was a little of him left in there, and he was there to promote a new movie, but time waits for no one, huh? I always think of the scene where Burt is standing there and he’s confronted by the bad guys. He counts them up. “You have eight. We have three. You need more guys.” I kind of wish I hadn’t seen him, to be honest, because before yesterday if you’d said his name, I would’ve pictured him as he was in the 70’s and 80’s. Now I might picture him in his 80’s. Ah well... ...at least he’s still around. God Bless Him.

It’s still too cold outside. It certainly would feel better if it were more than 35 degrees outside, but February is gone, and so is early March... ...the Yankees are about two weeks away from game one of what should be a great year and it’s time for some Madness! They just can’t ruin college basketball. All of the corruption, all of the greed, all of the exploiting of all of those kids... ...it just doesn’t matter. Because we have brackets to fill out! I’ve been playing this little game for a lot of years. My brother, Jeff, was always out of his mind with excitement this time of the year, and as luck might have it, his nephew, Sam, caught the bug. “I can’t think of anything else,” Sam mentioned to me yesterday. “I’ve broken down all the brackets, and I’m not missing a game.” He won’t either, and his excitement will be contagious. My filled out brackets came off the printer and Sam grabbed them. “You’re shortchanging Creighton,” he said. “You definitely got that...

One of my boy’s friends is always leaving things in our driveway. Over the last couple of months I’ve found a driver’s license, a phone, headphones and his wallet. “You have to take care of your stuff,” I lectured him. He laughed at me. “Everyone loses stuff,” he said. “I don’t!” Cut to Tuesday morning... ...I was taking the dogs to get the paper. Check inside my coat pocket. No wallet. Odd. Checked the console on the car. Uh-oh. I had change for the paper. I wasn’t panicking yet. I’d probably left it on my dresser. I brought the dogs in, gave them a couple of bones and headed to my room. Nothing. You know what happens next. I looked through the car, the laundry, the garbage, and in the couch cushions. Then I said a prayer to Saint Anthony. Evidently, he wasn’t around. “Okay, when was the last time you remember having it?” I’d stopped at a store on the way home. I checked the cupboards where I’d put the groceries... ...dug through the car. .....

I have zero patience for people who are bad at their jobs. It aggravates me to no end. Years ago, I was bringing the boys home from North Collins. They were very young, and the car ride, in the snow, was very loud. I couldn’t focus on the road, and was worried about putting us all in the ditch. “All right,” I said. “If you’re good, I’ll stop at the gas station and get you candy.” The car was quiet once they put their order in, and I made the rest of the drive home in peace, and stopped at the gas station before making it home. The girl behind the counter was on her cell phone. I had to wait for her, and when she finally gave me a little of her attention, she rang up the order wrong. I kept looking at the kids, waiting in the car. “Blah, blah, blah,” she continued with her phone call. Her call was still going as I grabbed the bag and headed for the door. Then, I held the kids at bay, promising that they’d have their candy once we got home. I was able to use the promise...

There are so many ways for people to reach out. My least favorite way of hearing from someone is a ringing phone, but some people actually want to talk to you. A few of my older, male clients will call. You have to answer because they don’t actually email or text. Then there are the incessant texters. They can be handled, but pull over first! (Sometimes I will answer a phone call by sending a text: “In a meeting, what’s up?”) ‘Cause I don’t feel like talking! Before the Bruce on Broadway Show the man behind us was talking. Talk, talk, talk, talk. He was blabbing on about everything from the weather to how his feet were feeling. I don’t get it. I say a lot less words than most people! Yet, emails are a whole ‘nother matter. As I go about my day I know they’re there. Every couple of hours I will check them, and I cringe when I see the number. 20 new emails were coming through every two hours and I figured out that about 12-15 were garbage. Then I figured out that ...

We were watching the move “Three Billboards” (which is very good) when the feeling swept over me like a wave. The character played by Woody Harrelson (a very good actor, one of my favorites) was really suffering, (I won’t spoil anything), when it hit me. At the time, I’d also been messaging back and forth with a friend of mine regarding a truly devastating diagnosis of cancer. Horrible news. Yet, as the movie moved on, I was having trouble actually breathing. “It’s all shit,” a buddy texted me as we went back and forth regarding the cancer talk. Two of the boys were in their rooms playing video games with friends. The other was at the St. Bonaventure game and I’d texted him during the tense ending. Kathy was across the room, watching the movie, the dogs were on the floor, mere feet away. “I don’t want bad news,” I thought. “Feel like there’s bad news coming.” I was in and out of sync with the movie. “We can’t fear life,” I kept thinking. But I was still feeling sadn...

There’s a social media site that advertises an ability to find out information about anyone, anywhere, and it’s accessible by just entering someone’s name and the state in which they live. I entered my own name. The site worked for a little while, but not terribly long and it flashed names of everyone in my family. Then it flashed up a whole bunch of information related to social media news that I’ve made, including this blog. “There’s a lot of information!” It said. Okay. Yet the site made a grand production of saying that they were scouring police records to see if I showed up there. Nope! Then it went on to possible financial records, travel information, even other locations where if lived or gone to school. At this point, I knew it was all about an extensive report that they would try and sell to me. I had no intention of buying, but I let it play out. The site teased about possible past relationships. (Not many!) It spoke of possible work experiences. And...

I had a better week because I had figured out that I hate chaos and that some of the chaos in my mind was coming from listening to the news all the time. So, I mixed in a little Classic Rock, caught some MLB talk, and listened to the news of the day on the periphery. If I concentrated on it too much... ...I felt the chaos coming back. We have normalized the abnormal, but drifting away a little allowed me to understand what’s going on. The president, who is under investigation for possible treason, and who constantly tries to obstruct the investigation, was sued by his porn star ex-girlfriend who he paid hush money to, possibly out of his campaign funds, while pretending to be a man named David Dennison... ...decided to slap tariffs on steel and aluminum because America is getting treated badly by our allies. Dennison’s Son-in-Law has his security clearance denied because of the suspect half-a-billion dollar loans that he received may have been secured while he was doing o...

It’s weird, but I know where I was when I secured my tickets for Springsteen on Broadway. I was teaching a class, and my hands were shaking as I put in the code. Once I hit the button to buy them, I was making my way back to the class when my text chimed. “I got a ticket for John. Same night that you’re going,” Carrie wrote. Now, understand that Carrie had already been to the show, and that it was a work day in the middle of the morning. “He has to see this!” And once she secured his ticket, I finally smiled. That’s Carrot. Selfless. Thinking of our lives while she battles hard in hers. After the show, John was as happy as I’d ever seen him. I texted Carrie. “You did a great thing getting that ticket.” “I’m so happy for all of you,” she answered, immediately. And it’s a battle knowing that Carrie lives about 800 miles away. We don’t see her or her beautiful kids enough. Yet, she’s always there. When I finished The Big D and put it out there... ...it wasn’t com...

There has been a fair amount of blaming movies, games and television shows as being too violent, leading to violence in society. I think it’s just a ruse so that we don’t talk about what’s really to blame, but this ain’t that sort of blog. I was watching a rerun of Law & Order SVU (which is my least favorite cop show ever) when it occurred to me that I’ve spent a lot of time watching the cops chase down the bad guys on tv. When I was a kid there was Kojak, McCloud, Columbo, Hawaii Five O, Cannon, Rockford Files, Mannix. A whole bunch. I’d say Columbo was my favorite of those and Cannon was my least favorite. Poor Frank Cannon. He had a lot of trouble chasing down the bad guy, and he’d often win the fight with a karate chop. He’d chop down, while breathing hard. I then liked Quincy. Jack Klugman was one of my favorite all-time actors. He always did a great job, and he was intense and funny. I’ve caught a few reruns and it doesn’t stand up. That’s because thes...

Saw that a 39-year old man and his 19-year old daughter were arrested for having sex in their back yard. The neighbor called it in. The daughter said that it was a one-time thing. Seriously. I’ve grown weary of the National News. Trump mentioned that he enjoys chaos. Ya’ think? Well, I hate it... ...I’m on the verge of ignoring all of it. It’s getring old. The hate tweets followed by the dissection of them for the entire day. It’s really something, though. He blasts two or three tweets... ...then goes golfing while the media stands on its head trying to figure out what it means. He did hit 100 rounds of golf since taking over. That’s impressive. Congrats! So, my brother shook Obama’s hand. It’s funny because as we waited outside before the show we were blown away by the number of security guards. We were close to the stage door and we heard one security guy say, “There’s a special guest tonight.” Then the guard yelled at us... ...told us we could no long...

We were only in Manhattan for about 20 hours, but as per usual we saw plenty. We were smart about choosing our hotel room, just a few blocks from the theatre. Kathy’s knee was barking, and despite getting a Massage the night before we left, my hip was making noise too. So, our walking was kept to a minimum. I was a few steps ahead of Kathy as we headed to dinner. I saw a man standing, facing the building, and suddenly a puddle began to form at his feet. I barely missed walking in it. “Is that filthy pig pissing?” Kathy called out. The man turned and was just a foot or two away from me... ...he wasn’t a homeless dude. He was a young, white, professional, and was holding a huge cell phone to his ear. He must have heard Kathy call him a filthy pig, but he was laughing about it. “Who would just pee like that?” Kathy asked. “There were 100 people around him.” I certainly wouldn’t, but what can you do? As always, I am struck by the diversity of New York. For those who bel...

Things work out, I guess. We had a lot of time to think about the Springsteen on Broadway Show as the drive in took a long time. We tried non-Bruce music for awhile, but when Boy George came on, I switched over to E-Street radio, and the trip down memory lane began. “What are your favorite songs?” Kathy asked. “Promised Land” immediately came to mind, but I also considered “Leah”, “One Step Up”, “Thunder  Road”. Just too hard to narrow it down. “How about best show you’ve seen?” Fenway Park, Darien Lake, Mountain View Show, New Jersey Show... ... all came to mind. I thought about seeing Bruce with all the members of my immediate family, and close friends, college pals. I laughed. “We played him non-stop in college,” I said. “The girls got really aggravated.” Then we talked about Bruce and how he has interacted with his fans through the years. Playing shows for disabled kids, eating dinner with an elderly couple when he goes to St. Louis, greeting fans on the...

It’s not my strong suit to adjust on the fly. I hate it, actually. So, when I woke up on Friday morning and saw the foot of snow, I got worried. 20 seconds later I got a text: “Your flight is cancelled. We’ll get back to you.” I called the airline and was asked to leave my number...they’d call me back in two hours. Six hours later they called. “There aren’t any flights until Sunday,” the friendly woman said. “We know. We’re driving there.” The snow had slowed by the time we hit the road. Kathy went straight to sleep. I drove and then the snow started flying in Syracuse. By Binghamton I decided to change things up again. “We’re done.” So, add another hotel room to the trip. I was now officially renting two rooms for Friday night... ...at least the plane tickets were to be refunded. Carrie, who saw the show in December, called to say that she was so jealous. “But I have to drive it,” I said. “Still worth it!” She said. So, there you have it... ...I a...

I’ve never seen a show on Broadway and this week has been a real bear. I had some flight problems, trying to get home from Iowa on Monday afternoon. It turned into Tuesday morning before I made it Home. Ruined my sleep routine for the week. Boo-hoo, right? Thing is, sleep deprivation is rough because your ability to concentrate is just off... ...but there was a light at the end of the tunnel. Bruce on Saturday night on Broadway. Yet, Buffalo, huh? WINTER WEATHER ADVISORY!!!! Bah! Are you kidding me??? I swear to God, after being in 8 states in 3 days... ...and now our flight is cancelled!! Yet, Thursday night finally brought a chance to sleep. I even grabbed a Massage so that my legs weren’t completely numb for the trip. New York, New York! How can you not be excited? So, wish us luck! Snow, snow, go away... ...seeing Bruce on Broadway. 🎭 🎭 🎭 Broadway 🎭 🎭 🎭

I used to daydream about running in and saving the girls, and barely surviving the life-threatening event. Back when I was in high school the big threat was a fire, or something like that. Actually, in college, that scenario nearly played out. I stopped by to see the object of my affection. I had been drinking beer at a frat party. She had spent the night studying. I wasn’t exactly dazzling her with my brilliance, and I think she was tiring of me. But then we said: “You smell smoke?” I did. She opened the front door to her apartment and screamed loudly. The Hall was filled with smoke, and it was apparent that it was coming from the apartment next door. Her scream brought another drunkard into the hall, and as luck might have it, I knew him. We both sobered up quickly when the girl said: “I think they’re in there!” She immediately went back to her apartment to call 911, but the two idiots decided that waiting for the fire department wasn’t smart. “Let’s bust the door...