Kelly Ripa Needs Me

-
I can do that job!

The show would have to be called Fuzzy & Ripa, but we could make it work.

I'd tell her about what she needs to fatten up a little bit too.

Yet Kelly Ripa is in the news this week because Michael Strahan up and quit his job as her co-host.

Then news broke that they hardly got along anyways and that his leaving wasn't all that much of a surprise to anyone...

...except poor Kelly.

She had no idea!

So, rather than go into work and put on a bold face she essentially called in sick for a week.

She's due back tomorrow.

Where she will have to sit there and yuk it up with Michael...

...even though she wants to choke him.

So, why not bring me in???

I'm ready!

We may have to move the show to cable as the F-word may eventually slip out, but they have delay buttons for that sort of crap, don't they?

(I'm a little concerned that there will now be memes of me and Kelly seated side-by-side as Chris Colantino takes shots at me daily)

But I'm willing to suffer for my art.

I'd be funnier than Michael.

I don't have the big gap in my teeth, but I could go out there with a chew in...

...Anywhoha...

I watched Kelly & Michael every day when I was off with the hip injury.

I loved her energy.

She's no Kathy Fazzolari, mind you...

...but Fuzzy and Ripa.

It could work.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Suits

-
Like a lot of other people we got pulled into the series, ‘Suits’ on Netflix. I’ve never had much fun hanging around lawyers who have questioned me as a construction safety officer. I once testified in a case where the opposing lawyer started questioning me by going through my educational background. “So,” he said, racing to a crescendo, “You graduated from college with a degree in Communications-Journalism and suddenly, 30 years later, you’re a ‘safety expert.’” He actually made the quotation marks with his fingers. I just looked at him. “How does that happen?” He bellowed, sure that he was going to discredit me. “Well,” I said. “I knew I was overqualified to become a lawyer.” The courtroom erupted in laughter. Even the judge chuckled. The rest of his questions landed flat. So, I wasn’t all that keen on a show about lawyers, but ‘Suits’ is great. Meghan Markle became a princess because of the show, and she is very good in it (and a beautiful woman). Yet, there is so much more. The wri
Read more

My Buddy, Dave

-
Way back in 1997, I started working with a steel erection company out of Syracuse. I was coming straight from a long stint with a steel erector here in Buffalo so I knew my stuff when it came to steel erection safety rules. On day one, I met with the safety director and he was just getting started as a safety guy, but man, he certainly cared about the guys he worked with. Dave was a good man from the start. He’d say things like: “You’re so full of beans.” Just a down to earth, hardworking guy who became a fast friend. We drove all around New York State setting up jobs. I always let Dave drive so that I could rest. One fine day, way up North of Syracuse, we passed a state trooper.  I glanced at the speedometer. “You’re screwed,” I said, and seconds later, the lights came on. Dave was beside himself.  The cop stopped by the window, grabbed the license and registration and headed back to his vehicle. “Here’s the thing,” I said. “You’re pissed, but you’re such a good guy that I bet you tha
Read more

Mom & Ollie

-
Image
 Ollie Stadium is a mess. The heavy rains rendered the backyard a mud pit and even though we threw in the side yard, the Big O was looking for more, and we were both covered in mud. I had to take some steam out of him somehow so I suggested we go visit Grandma. Ollie hates the car, but he laid quietly as we made the trip. We even brought the football because there is plenty of room to play at Grandma’s. Mom opened the door and started laughing. I thought about the love she had for every single dog we ever had. Oliver was quick to give my Mom a kiss, and then he stood beside her. The love between Mom and Dogs is a mutual bond. Through the years, Mom would make breakfast for the dogs.  Fried eggs, toast, bacon… She would wrap Christmas gifts for them. “To Jeter, Love Santa,” she would write on the cards. They played with the big chicken that made a lot of noise. Mom tossed the football and Ollie brought it back to her. As the visit drew to a close I headed for the door.  “C’mon, Oliver,”
Read more