Friday, April 1, 2016

"I Blew My Leg Off"

It's amazing what people are doing to become somewhat famous.

Viral videos are all the rage and the dumber you can be, the more hits you get.

Take the story of David Pressley, a guy from Georgia.

Pressley did a public service announcement after he made his video to let the world know that safety around explosives is necessary.

Self-knowledge is a funny thing because it usually comes immediately after you've severely f*&$ed something up.

Pressley filled his riding lawnmower with three pounds of explosives.

Then he grabbed his high-powered rifle and positioned himself a little ways away because he wasn't sure how it was all going to go.

Then he got a little closer because nothing seemed to be happening.

His next shot blew up the lawnmower.

I listened to the audio of the incident because he was filming it so that he could be a star.

I heard the rifle shot.

Then the explosion.

Then Pressley say...

...very clearly:

"I blew my leg off."

He did too.

Then we hear the public service announcement.

I believe the voice belonged to Pressley.

He said:

"People got to be careful. These explosives ain't no joke."

Isn't that lovely?

I am a safety man.

Every single day I walk around, watching people work. I evaluate site conditions and write detailed reports about what might hurt someone.

For Pressley I'm imagining that I might write something like this:

"The employee was instructed not to fill up his lawnmower with explosives. He was further instructed not to aim his high-powered rifle at the explosive-filled piece of equipment. Finally, this dumb mother-#$#%% was instructed not to pull the trigger."

Pressley was genuine in his warning to everyone who was watching his video.

Take heed, people.

Don't shoot your explosive-filled lawn mower.

Phew...Thank God I told you!

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