Thoughts of a Common Man

Check It Out - John Mellencamp Great Song. A million young poets Screamin' out their words To a world full of people Just livin' to be heard Future generations Ridin' on the highways that we built I hope they have a better understanding Check it out Goin' to work on Monday Check it out Got yourself a family Check it out All utility bills have been paid You can't tell your best buddy that you love him So check it out Where does our time go Check it out Got a brand new house in escrow Check it out Sleepin' with your back to your loved one This is all that we've learned about happiness Check it out Forgot to say hello to my neighbors Check it out Sometimes I question my own behavior Check it out Talkin' about the girls that we've seen on the sly Just to tell our souls we're still the young lions So check it out Gettin' too drunk on Saturdays Check it out Playin' football with the kids on Sundays Check it...

My big head is congested. I couldn't hear very well the other day and it got so annoying that I stopped at the doctors to see if I was going deaf. He told me to chew gum and hold my nose closed and push out until I heard my ears pop. Fun. On the way to work on Tuesday the light buzzed to let me know that I was 50 miles from running out of gas. I swung into the Mobil station on Elmwood Avenue and was a tad annoyed when they made me plug my zip code in to pump the gas. Then they asked me if I wanted a car wash. Bah! Finally they allowed me to lift the handle and pump the gas. Annoyed. I was pumping the gas when out of the corner of my eye I noticed a young man digging through the trash across the way. He held two bags that were filled with bottles that he would turn in for a nickel a shot. I kept watching him as my tank filled. He was less than 30 years old. His eyes showed signs of extreme wear and tear. Drugs for sure. His clothes were filthy but they were...

Baseball season starts this weekend. Thank God! I am predicting that baseball will soon be the number one sport in the land again when the concussion battle takes out the greedy NFL. So, let's get started. The stupid National League. The Mets have great pitching, but I think that there are too many people anointing them as the NL East Champs . I say the call goes to the Washington Nationals. They had more talent last year. They get it done this year. But the Mets will grab a wild card. In the NL Central everyone always wonders how the St. Louis Cardinals get to near 100 wins every year. They just play great fundamental baseball. Then they flame out The Cubs and Pirates are both great teams. I say the Cubs win it and the Pirates grab the second wild card. The Cardinals flame out. And finally, the NL West - it seems that the Giants win the World Series on even years. They re-stocked everything and might make a run, but I think Kershaw is the difference and the Dodg...

Sam was absolutely bursting on the inside. Kansas had gone on a run to take a 45-40 lead over beloved Villanova. My boy escaped to the other room where he screamed a little, away from mine and Jake's gaze. But then a 3-pointer. And another one. A lay-up and a jumper. Suddenly 'Nova was back in front 50-45. "There we go!" He was screaming. Now I've watched a lot of sports with the boys. Mostly I make fun of their favorite teams because I like to get under people's skin when they're most passionate about something silly. (In all fairness, they do it to me with the 27-Time World Champion Greatest Franchise in the History of Organized American Sports - so it's all good). But as the game clock wore down I started to feel nervous for Sam. He loves Villanova. He has since he was about five years old...who knows why. Every game was on our television this year. We worked our schedule around their games. I was nervous for him! ...

My back was aching. The priest was reading the prayer. I glanced over at the other altar boy, Al DeCarlo, as the prayer at the 7th station of the cross dragged on. Al rolled his eyes. I was only about ten years old back then. It was Good Friday . We had been at one service or another for three straight days. I remember that we had Saturday off, but Easter Mass would be another long church event. Cut to about a month ago. At the Springsteen show. Bruce was talking about The River being the first time that he actually thought that there would eventually be an end to life as we know it. "You reach a moment when you figure out that your time here is limited. We all have limited time to do something good. (He repeated the line) "To do something good." I thought of both, the serving mass on Good Friday , and listening to Bruce talk about mortality, a lot over the last few days. I heard about the death of a young man. I considered his devastated an...

What a bummer! Garry Shandling died! He was only 66... ...that's not enough time. And make no mistake, he was a comic genius. Shandling was well known from The Larry Sanders Show, which was great, but I loved The Garry Shandling Show even more. One of my favorite all-time half hours on television ever was the episode when he failed the written portion of his drivers test. "I'm so stupid!" He wails. He decides to summon his brain and the camera cuts to an overweight man, in pajamas, resting in a hammock. "Get up!!" He yells. "It's 3 in the afternoon!" His brain explains that there's no reason to get up. "You only have three thoughts! I'm tired. I'm hungry. I gotta' poop." That little piece of comedy genius really got a lot of play in my life. My brother Jeff and I would say it to one another on a weekly basis. I think that we watched that episode at least 10 times. I used the brain jo...

"What should I bring?" I asked Jim. I was calling to check in to see what he needed for the Easter celebration. Cooking for a lot of people is never easy, but Jim is always willing to do it. "A bib," he answered. There is no doubt what drives Jim. The family. Feeding the family, specifically. Jim has spoiled all of us. The Maryland clan gathers at Jim's house and he stuffs them with gourmet food at every meal. By the time we get to his home for a celebration for the family all the food is ready and the table is set. And if ten people are there he has enough food for thirty. Well, today is Jim's birthday and the world should stop spinning for a minute so we can all acknowledge it. Jim is so giving for our entire family, and all of his friends that we really should make sure he knows how much we appreciate his efforts. Yet, that aside... Jim was always an interesting guy to go and have a beer with. Out in California we spent quite a...

No matter where the terror strike hits... ... the fear and panic rush in. Along with the sadness and the pain . Instantly we are bombarded with the images of the devastation. The other day we woke to the horrific news in Brussels. "F&*$ ISIS!" Someone texted me early, early, early in the morning before I had even seen what had happened. I wondered where...and then I read the horrible news. It doesn't truly make a difference where it plays out though because what you feel, automatically, is the fear . And that's how terror works. People are terrified... ...all over the place. And what can you do with the anger? ISIS is a sort of faceless group, aren't they? Most people think that every single person who is of the Muslim faith is a member of the ISIS team. That, in and of itself, is a problem. That's akin to saying that every white male between 18 and 50 is liable to mass shoot here in America. But back to the anger . If ...

A few weeks ago I listened as Sue Klebold made the rounds on some of the radio shows. She was peddling her new book: "A Mother's Reckoning: Living in the Aftermath of Tragedy." You probably recognize her surname. Dylan Klebold was one of the two shooters at Columbine back in 1999. Columbine was the first of many school shootings in this country and it was pulled off by two kids who were in a complete rage. There was an element of bullying to it. Some people blamed violent video games. The two boys wore trench coats as the planted bombs and shot and killed their fellow students and a teacher. That shooting seems to be the starting point. Can you imagine if it was YOUR KID! When I heard Sue Klebold on the radio talking about the book...I wondered why she might write such a memoir. Then I remembered that writing has always helped me make sense of things that were difficult to understand. But still!!! Can you imagine the grief? I bought her book...whic...

Who would've ever thought that one of my favorite past times would be to sit back, wait for something wild to happen, and then go to the story with the sole intention of reading the comments sections. This is particularly entertaining when you hit on a political story. Trump running for president has taken the hate to a whole 'nother level...and don't think twice about it...the hate and name-calling is coming from both sides. Here's an exchange between Alec and a whole bunch of people. "I f*&#ing hate Donald Trump. I really can't believe that America is this stupid to elect such an arrogant trillionaire as a president. Obama will have been the last president. If Trump gets elected than it will be a dictatorship and World War III will happen quickly." That guy was certainly trying to make a few points, but his use of 'trillionaire' may have cost him his argument. Let's listen to the responses he gathered. "YOU ARE A LIBTA...

What's actually weird about parenting is that you get flashbacks to a time when the shoe was on the other foot. I was driving Jake somewhere the other morning and I thought about sitting in his spot...Dad would have his songs on the radio...Sinatra or Ella or Dean. I'd be sitting there, as a young man, wondering what he was thinking, talking as much as I could without spilling too much. Trying to get a conversation started about something. We were listening to Bruce, of course as Jake and I made our way to his friends house. Jake brought up the NCAA Tourney and we talked comfortably throughout. Just as I had been able to do with my Dad, we can talk. It was just the act of driving there that hit me. And of course it goes too fast. Buddy of mine asked me what I was doing the other day. "Just watching hoops with the boys." "Enjoy it," he said. "My girls aren't watching it with me this year. I wanted them to stay here, but they have ...

Yesterday I thought of the Mellencamp line in that song: "Sometimes life is just too ridiculous to live." Now I don't think JCM was advocating suicide there... ...but there are certainly moments. Let me break it down for you. Woke to the message on my phone from my beautiful wife that said: "Let me know when you're up." Then she called. The car had broken down. She hadn't wanted to bother me with phone calls because I wasn't feeling great so she got a ride to work but now there was work to be done. I scrambled around for the better part of two hours making sure that the vehicle was towed to a lot. I still had some paperwork to do so I rushed back and just started to get to it when I heard some rage coming from downstairs. "What's up?" "My phone is broke!!!!" That was coming from an 18-year old who couldn't possibly be expected to function without a phone for even thirty minutes. That's whe...

A friend of mine has a wife who's battling some serious health problems. They're actually the same age as me so I was shocked to learn of her troubles. A lot of folks our age are on meds for heart questions, blood pressure or high cholesterol. As House famously reminded me: "It won't end easy." But overall, despite bad legs, I'm healthy. Except since Wednesday. Everyone in the house was suffering. While I sympathized, I wasn't overly concerned. I don't normally get colds or the flu. I freaking got it this time! I missed a day of work!! As I suffered I thought of people toasting people's health at every turn. We pray for each other. "Stay Healthy!!" is a rallying cry. Now, despite my awesome ability to whine when I'm not feeling well, I am fairly confident that I'll be back on my feet fairly quickly. But I thought more about the people who eventually get sick enough to never get better. I had even as...

Adam LaRoche is a first-baseman with the Chicago White Sox. He used to hit a lot of homeruns but last year he was on my fantasy team so he hit only 12 and stunk up the joint. I was a little aggravated with him. He recently floated the idea of retiring even though he's only 36 years old and he has a contract that pays him 13 million a year. The reason why he's quitting? The Sox management told him that he was going to have to leave his 14-year old son, Drake, home some days. Seems that Drake traveled with the team, had his own locker, and even took batting practice. The kid went to school while pretending to be an actual pro baseball player. Now to be fair, it seems that his teammates didn't have a problem with Drake being the 26th man, but maybe they just didn't want to bitch. First off, it's a little weird, isn't it? Adam LaRoche is being paid an absurd amount of money to do a job. His employer asked him to dial it back. So... he's gonna...

Yesterday Sam made Kathy cry. Our boy wrote a long, heartfelt letter explaining how much he appreciates all that she does for him... ...and for us. Now Sam was feeling a little guilty because he knows that basketball is going to rule the day today as the NCAA Tournament starts. Hoops will be on the big television from noon until about midnight tomorrow. Three boys and a couple of their friends... ...and Kathy's loving husband will have all eyes on all the games. Which makes for a lonely birthday, right? Well, suffice it to say that Sam spoke for all of us when he penned his words of appreciation. We all love my beautiful wife! Every day and not just on her birthday! Let's think of why: 1). All of us are mechanically-challenged. Severely mechanically-challenged. There is at least one of us who struggles to turn on the television when the person before leaves it on Netflix. Yet the challenges don't end there. She has to change the light bulbs, fix t...

I was having a conversation the other night with a good friend. We were wondering what we were missing when it comes to those who are really, really passionate about getting Donald Trump elected. I decided to see if I could figure out a way where it might actually work for me. Point One - The Wall Remember how the world rejoiced when the Wall came tumbling down in Germany? Do you recall how everyone world-wide breathed a sigh of relief because it showed that we, as a species, were making progress. A Wall, to me, appears to be extreme overkill. We all got here somehow. I loved the stories my grandfather told me about the family arriving here and how the work made us Americans. The great thing about America is that we are a melting pot of cultures. But... They are coming over as rapists and drug-dealers and they are taking our jobs, our medical care and going to college on our dime! We care more for illegal immigrants than we do the veterans!! Yeah...aggravating whe...

For years and years people have asked me who my favorite author is. I have always answered: "John Steinbeck." When I first read East of Eden I was convinced that no one told a story better. The language just felt different when he was placing one word after another. I recall reading a paragraph a couple of times, knowing that there wasn't a single wasted word and that he was painting a perfect picture for me. I read East of Eden again at least every other year even though I have committed most of the story to memory. Steinbeck has mostly gems in his resume anyway.. so the answer was always easy. "Steinbeck." But something weird happened the other night. I was reading a book on my phone. (Aside here...I always have two books going - one on my phone and one that is a physical book - I read both, often the same night, but sometimes it's more convenient to hold one or the other...so two at a time!). The book was a group of short stories - T...

Sam had a sheet of paper that listed every single conference game with their start times and the television channels that were carrying the games. When Jake and Matt found the slip of paper (that looked a little like the Unabomber Manifesto) they teased Sam. "Just getting the schedule worked out so I don't miss anything." My beautiful wife made Sam show the schedule to me. I simply shrugged. "Don't you think it's a little nutty?" "I've done it myself," I said. "I use the same sort of paper in organizing my work now. It's nutty not to get it all in front of you." What made me smile about all of it is that my brother, Jeff, was the exact same way as Sam. The best week of the year?? Of course! March Madness is more important to my boys than Christmas. The Thursday and Friday games will be played, screamed about, pondered over and wildly cheered. But we have a problem. Kathy's birthday is Thursday! The...

Read a whole lot on Saturday about the culture of violence being cultivated in our great nation. Did you even notice the mass shooting in Pennsylvania this week? Probably not... the story passed through the news cycle quickly. Who knows how many were murdered in your city on Friday night. We can't fix it, why give it too much of our time? The violence at the political rally seemed worse to me somehow. Its sad. We are all Americans. The liberals and the conservatives have that in common. Hard to believe, right? Despite the differences in thought, up until Friday night... there was just putrid, ugly discourse. When those punches were thrown something slipped and it got a lot worse. Now, I hope I'm wrong but it doesn't feel that way. We may have tipped the balance. Here's why I think that... ...the violence was not really denounced. The mouthpieces for both sides dug in. The protesters got what they deserved as did the security. All involv...

What a strange night. We had the Villanova game on at 6:30 so our house was a little upside down last night. We get to watch every single 'Nova game with crazed nervousness. Now, I'm not all that into the conference tournament games...never have been...I'm going to see the real Tourney next week...but try explaining it to Sam! They HAVE to win every game. So, we were watching as the unrest unfolded in Chicago. "Are you watching this????" I was asked by text. Now, unrest, in my lifetime has usually unfolded in the Middle East... ...not really here in the United States. But make no mistake: It was unrest. At a Trump rally of all places!!! How could there be unrest in a place where the man speaking once mentioned of a protester: "I wish I could punch him in the face." Or something along the lines of: "I will pay the legal fees for anyone who beats up a protester." I didn't switch to a news channel. We just kep...

My conscious decision for 2016 was to avoid long, drawn-out debates on social media about any and all subjects. I must admit that it is not quite as easy as it sounds. Partly because I was trained to argue any and everything. My Dad made us argue...he wanted us to think about all sides of a subject. I purposely followed the same script with my boys. You have no idea how many times that I have argued a point that I don't believe in just to make them wonder if there is some validity in how others are seeing things. It's good for them. But still, I got tired of being caught in an argument I had no chance of winning with a total stranger who has no idea what the difference is between 'your' or 'you're' or 'there', 'they're' or 'there'. Or 'two', 'to' or 'too' for that matter. Anywhoha... I was doing okay too. I argued a little about Shady McCoy and his involvement in the beatdown of an off...

It's not breaking news that the Yankees are trying to get younger. Yesterday the 27-Time World Champion Greatest Franchise in the History of Organized Sports signed 10-year-old Landis Sims to a contract. There's Landis. He was born without hands or lower legs, but the Yankees signed him and assigned him a locker at George M. Steinbrenner Field. Landis' locker was between pitchers C.C. Sabathia and Delin Betances. Landis also participated in team drills and all the Yankees made Landis feel right at home. There is so much garbage in the world. Even in the sports world all we ever hear about is the star athlete punching a cop, or driving loaded, or clubbing his girlfriend. Leave it to the Yankees to rise above. I can imagine the fun Landis had stretching on the field with professional athletes. I know that they made him feel right at home. Landis wore a Tanaka jersey on the field. He played catch. He stretched with A-Rod. A signed contract. Congr...

In 1984 I was twenty-two years old. A college student. A union laborer. On summer break and on winter breaks as well, I worked construction. Dad usually got me settled into the job well in advance of my break and when it came time to take that break from studies... ... I busted my ass. (Truth be told...I wasn't actually studying all that hard - school was the break). Yet... ...I made a great wage during those days. Enough to help my parents pay for that college tuition. Enough to not have to take out loans that would stretch over the next 40 years. Enough to buy over-priced books and to have a little beer money when classes started again. Well...1984 is a lot like 2016 because - and get this! People make the SAME money now as they did then! Not comparable money increased for inflation... ... the same exact wage! I wasn't shocked when I read the article that filled everyone in on the news. In fact, I have been yelling about it for a long while now. ...

Carrie sent me a video of her and Paige at the Bruce concert. They were singing Rosalita right along with The Boss. As I watched the video the first thought that popped into my head was: Wow! They're both so pretty! Carrie and her beautiful daughter! My relationship with my sister has always been one of ease, admiration and mutual respect. I think she's a better writer than me. She thinks I'm better. I've always admired her strength, her humor and her ability to punch back when things get weird and a bit of a mess. She says I'm like the narrator in the Bruce 'The Wrestler' song. We've always had a lot of laughs. And you know, I'm not quite sure how old Carrie is today... ...because she's always young to me. She's my little sister! My brilliant Funny Ambitious Beautiful Heart-of-gold Little sister. Happy Birthday, Carrot. We love you!!

On his first swing of the spring A-Rod hit a home run. No big deal in early March, of course, but what was cool about it? I received a notification on my phone. And I knew that it was on! Baseball season is just a matter of a few weeks away. A couple of nights ago Sam sat at the kitchen table and I thought I'd play a little quiz game with him. I asked him to name the top 5 NCAA Tournament teams as we head towards March Madness. He rattled off the top 5 so I asked him to go six through ten. He got them. We all laughed. "Eleven?" I asked. He went eleven through twenty, only holding on to think for about six seconds. We laughed some more. "Can you do twenty through twenty-five?" He got 'em. Sam is ready to fill out his brackets! Baseball offers me a stress release on a nightly basis. Knowing that it will soon be back will allow me some order in what has been a very busy start to the year. "Who's pitching tonight?...

Saw Erin Andrews crying on the stand as she sues the hotel for $75 million for allowing a guest to alter the peephole and take photos of her naked. He then sold the photos and made them readily available to anyone who wanted to look at them. And millions of people did! Listened to the story about the knife found in OJ's yard and thought about Nicole Brown and Ronald Goldman and how they were just fodder for the story. Watched the political battle rage on. And in the middle of it all, talked to my Mom about it. "What is going to happen to this world?" she asked. "Presidential candidates talking about their...their...their...peckers?" I laughed. "I think about Kennedy and how we looked up to him as a leader. Hell, they've all been at least a little presidential." Weird. When you think about the new normal, I guess. And to hear people speak now about Kennedy, or Clinton, or any of them, really...there were things hiding in the clos...

I watched the GOP debate on Thursday night. Well, as much as I could take. What a freaking fiasco! Are you kidding me? The men running for president are talking about small hands...small other things and then they are denying such claims? Sorry, folks. I thought that Trump running would be good for a few laughs. I'm not laughing much anymore. It's kinda' turning my stomach. When he was pressed for policy on a number of issues he couldn't stay out of his own way. He's for keeping all immigrants out of the country. We know that. He's gonna' make Mexico build a wall to the moon. Except, during the debate he said that smart immigrants will be welcomed. An hour after the debate he clarified his remarks saying that no immigrants will be allowed and everyone will be deported. What? He's for more torture across the board. He came out and said that he would send his troops after the families of some of the terrorists. When it was explained...

I miss my brother every day. It's 7 years today. I still shake my head in disbelief at least three times a day. My heart aches when I think of his children missing him... ...and my children missing him. So many of us missing him. Every single day. And I bless his photo each day... ...the sign of the cross... ...and I talk to him as if he were still here to share things. And sometimes I wonder if that's a healthy way to grieve. A lot of wondering. And yeah. Today marks seven @#$%& years... ...but the pain hasn't changed much... ...and the love is so alive. The love will never fade. "Is there a light up ahead... well, brother, I don't know... ...but I'll see you... ...Further on up the road."

I had wanted to try Jethro's BBQ and Porck Chop Grill on my last trip to Iowa. I made it happen this time. Check that menu. I was staring in wild wonder and my waitress, Sara, asked me why I was grinning like an idiot. I told her all about my Uncle Jim who was a true pork chop king. I explained that we had banter about pork chops that went round and round. She laughed. I ordered the double cut stuffed chop and the gravy that it was served with made me laugh...it was way too good. Sara stopped by the table to see how I was doing. I was nearly done with the chop. I explained how wonderful it was and we started discussing the fact that I was there in honor of Uncle Jim and perhaps I should have another... ...you know... ...one for him and one for me. "Do it!" I said. Sara was back a little while later. I finished both chops. Make the trip! Ankeny, Iowa! Jethro's Rules!

Hanging around the airport affords you with a lot of time to observe. Observing people is a very comfortable task for me. Of course, in this day and age I am graced with the very top of everyone's heads as they bow to read their phones, and we are living in an amazing age that allows us to watch a movie, whenever and wherever we want. The guy beside me on the plane watched Ted 2. I have seen the movie so my eyes were drawn to it despite the fact that I was holding a paperback. Which reminds me...I only saw about six others reading from an actual book. Yet despite all the devices and the screens everywhere...I did hear snippets of actual conversations. It is absolutely impossible to get away from the presidential election so we all have something in common there and the same words being spoken in New York are being spoken in Iowa and Missouri. "Trump will make us win," a lady behind me said to her travel mate. "He's an idiot," the guy said. ...

We were watching the O.J. Simpson mini-series and Marcia Clark said the F-word! Awwwwwww.....I'm telling! It made me think of being young and hearing one of my siblings say it. "She can't say that on regular t.v.," my beautiful wife commented. The curse hadn't even registered with me. I work in an industry where the F-word is the favored word. It is spoken more so than any other word. You sneak up on a conversation and every single guy is saying it and every single other guy is answering that way. I'm the only safety speaker who says it a lot, but I am often times tasked to bring such humor to the proceedings, and I try my best to judge the crowd. I will often mention that I will try not to curse but that something might 'slip the F&*k out.' The people who hire me know that I rarely work clean. No one ever complains about my use of the word as I present my material. In fact, it brings great humor to most of the proceedings. ...