The King Is Banned!

-
All right, so I lied. I watched The King proclaim who his next team would be. I had to. The 27-Time Defending World Champions are playing on the West Coast, so there was absolutely nothing on television.

And man, was I put off by the whole deal.

First off, they called it The Decision. As if creation itself depended on it.

Secondly, they called those three ball-bouncing millionaires The Chosen Ones: a bit much.

Thirdly, they sat The King in a chair and said he's about to make a decision that will affect the world. Turned my stomach.

Fourthly, while I knew the ads for the program were going to charity - The Boys and Girls Clubs of America - I honestly believed that The King would have a message for young people. In my heart I believed that he might start with a decree that children should stay in school, or stay out of gangs, or stay off of drugs, or stop freaking shooting each other every friggen day.

But no. It was all about Lebron. And at the end of the day, his momma told him that Lebron James has to do what makes Lebron James happy.

So, there's the message. Perfect.

Now I'm not saying that Lebron had to be the second coming of MLK, but a few nice words about someone other than himself may have worked.

(I turned it off waaaaaaay before the end so if he did this after I went running screaming from the room, I don't care. He should have started with such a message. He could have done it too, he's The King).

I guess he learned from Cheetah and that other serial narcissist Michael Jordan.

Cliff Fazzolari doesn't like Michael Jordan either.

And for God's sake, make up your mind. The interview started with The King telling us how hard he worked for the opportunity to do what makes "Lebron James happy."

In fact, he told us how he enjoyed the process three separate times. Then he explained that he never wanted to go through it again because it's the hardest thing Lebron James ever had to do.

"Will you still live in Ohio?" Jim Gray asked.

"I don't know. Lebron James gave all he had to Cleveland, but Lebron James' Mommy gave Lebron James some advice and Lebron James...

"Has to make Lebron James happy," Gray finished.

"Yes, but I'll always live in Akron. I love Akron."

At that point Gray wanted to reach across and throttle The King.

"That's what I freaking 'axed,'" you had to be running through his mind.

And another pet peeve of mine. It is pronounced "Ass-ked."

Where's the X?

You can say Ass, can't you?

Add an -ked and you're all set.

That's it. Done with Lebron, or The King, or The Chosen One, or Lebron Christ - whatever the hell he wants to call himself.

But at least I have a new favorite NBA Team.

Whoever is playing against The Chosen One's.

Comments

Cindy Lehnortt said…
Well put. Now lets all move on!!!!
09 July, 2010
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Suits

-
Like a lot of other people we got pulled into the series, ‘Suits’ on Netflix. I’ve never had much fun hanging around lawyers who have questioned me as a construction safety officer. I once testified in a case where the opposing lawyer started questioning me by going through my educational background. “So,” he said, racing to a crescendo, “You graduated from college with a degree in Communications-Journalism and suddenly, 30 years later, you’re a ‘safety expert.’” He actually made the quotation marks with his fingers. I just looked at him. “How does that happen?” He bellowed, sure that he was going to discredit me. “Well,” I said. “I knew I was overqualified to become a lawyer.” The courtroom erupted in laughter. Even the judge chuckled. The rest of his questions landed flat. So, I wasn’t all that keen on a show about lawyers, but ‘Suits’ is great. Meghan Markle became a princess because of the show, and she is very good in it (and a beautiful woman). Yet, there is so much more. The wri
Read more

My Buddy, Dave

-
Way back in 1997, I started working with a steel erection company out of Syracuse. I was coming straight from a long stint with a steel erector here in Buffalo so I knew my stuff when it came to steel erection safety rules. On day one, I met with the safety director and he was just getting started as a safety guy, but man, he certainly cared about the guys he worked with. Dave was a good man from the start. He’d say things like: “You’re so full of beans.” Just a down to earth, hardworking guy who became a fast friend. We drove all around New York State setting up jobs. I always let Dave drive so that I could rest. One fine day, way up North of Syracuse, we passed a state trooper.  I glanced at the speedometer. “You’re screwed,” I said, and seconds later, the lights came on. Dave was beside himself.  The cop stopped by the window, grabbed the license and registration and headed back to his vehicle. “Here’s the thing,” I said. “You’re pissed, but you’re such a good guy that I bet you tha
Read more

Mom & Ollie

-
Image
 Ollie Stadium is a mess. The heavy rains rendered the backyard a mud pit and even though we threw in the side yard, the Big O was looking for more, and we were both covered in mud. I had to take some steam out of him somehow so I suggested we go visit Grandma. Ollie hates the car, but he laid quietly as we made the trip. We even brought the football because there is plenty of room to play at Grandma’s. Mom opened the door and started laughing. I thought about the love she had for every single dog we ever had. Oliver was quick to give my Mom a kiss, and then he stood beside her. The love between Mom and Dogs is a mutual bond. Through the years, Mom would make breakfast for the dogs.  Fried eggs, toast, bacon… She would wrap Christmas gifts for them. “To Jeter, Love Santa,” she would write on the cards. They played with the big chicken that made a lot of noise. Mom tossed the football and Ollie brought it back to her. As the visit drew to a close I headed for the door.  “C’mon, Oliver,”
Read more