The Horse Died in the End

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Being that the 27-Time Defending World Champion Yankees,who have the best record in baseball, played and won their game in the afternoon, there were not a lot of choices for television last night.

After dinner, Kathy decided to visit Redbox for a flick, and despite the fact that I've been burned before - by romantic comedies where someone who looks like Jennifer Aniston, or Catherine Heigl spends two hours bemoaning the fact that men don't find them attractive, only to miraculously find love in the end - I let my wife choose the flick.

(Hey guys out there - wouldn't you be willing to take a lot of crap from Aniston or Heigl? Would it take you months or minutes to profess love? Just asking).

Anyway, Kathy was very secretive about the movie. She didn't divulge actors in it or the plot line and I'm not even sure of the name - Remember Me - maybe?

Yet the movie started out promisingly enough with a Ghandi quote about what we do in our lives will be insignificant, but we still have to do it. Then there was a point-blank shooting of a mother, with her daughter standing right beside her, on a NYC subway platform.

Now, you must understand, on most days I'm teetering on the edge of sadness and utter deapair. I can hold it off, but there comes a tipping point that usually sends me to the goose for relief. I've been good all week. Smiling, joking, hanging in there, chasing the insignificant because it needs to be lived.

After the subway shooting, the movie took a turn to the depressing. Whenever it looked like there'd be a swing to the merry, more bad things happened. And, oh yeah, there was no Hollywood ending. The ending in fact made the subway shooting look like a comedy sketch.

"Holy shit!" I said as the screen went to black. "That's the saddest movie ever made!"

Jake who revels in the fact that I am made to sit through the romantic comedies wanted more info.

"Let's just say that if there were a dog in that movie we would have watched it get scrunched under the wheels of a semi-tractor-trailer," I said.

Kathy laughed.

"Why would you get such a movie?" I asked.

"The guy in it was from Twilight," she said. "I just wanted to look at him."

"What about this?" I asked as I allowed my hands to highlight what she can see every single day. "You live with a movie star."

She laughed again, but this time it was a laugh that came out of absolute surprise and glee. One of those laughs where you're laughing because what you've heard is just plain ridiculous. "Not quite the same. He's fresh-looking," she said.

I brushed my teeth and headed for bed. Not only did I see the saddest movie ever, I lost the overall comparison with the fresh-looking, young actor. Now I know what Kathy thinks when I watch Jennifer Alba, or hundreds of others.

Ah well. Glad there wasn't a horse in the flick.

We'd have watched the process of turning it into glue.

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