Wedding Day
Going to a party today to celebrate the wedding of my niece, Katie to a fine,young man, Matt. It's sort of strange too because when Kathy and I first had the kids and needed a moment away from them it was Katie who stepped up to the plate and offered to babysit. She always did a fine job, and usually balked at an offer to be paid, although she eventually took the money that I crumpled up and threw at her.
It's also strange because every single time I go to a wedding I think of two things:
1). My character Waldorf, in my widely acclaimed book Waldorf & Juli (I learned self-promotion from King LeBron), was standing at the front of the church waiting for his bride when his best man said: This is either the greatest moment in your life, or the single standing in time that you'll look back on and rue with all of the hatred in your heart.
2). Or as Springsteen said in his widely acclaimed CD, Tunnel of Love, Would they ever look so happy again? The handsome groom and his bride, as they step into the long, black limousine, for their mystery ride?
And, I'm here to tell you folks, it's sort of a crap shoot. Katie and Matt will be a wonderful couple and they will live a life of eternal happiness where they raise a couple of kids, love each other every day, and blissfully expire at the same moment about 70 years from now.
Or: They stand in front of a judge accusing one another of cruelty, infidelity, disrespect, abuse, and general differences of opinion that led to utter destruction.
Doesn't seem to be a lot of middle ground these days, and it is pretty scary when you reach middle-age and the couples around you start to drop.One after another. Never amicably. Always with a great deal of angst.
"So, what's the secret?" Matt asked as we sipped one of his final free beers at the stag.
"How the hell do I know?" I asked. "I thought OJ and Nicole were getting on terrifically."
"But you and Aunt Kathy always look like you're having fun."
"That's the secret, look like you're having fun," I said. "Respect each other. Simple as that," I said.
And it shouldn't be a secret. There should be that implied understanding when you stand up in front of the church, or the judge, or the gathering and make the commitment. And I'm quite sure that most people honestly believe that it is how it will work out.
Pretty hard to fathom the guy who says, "I Do," while thinking, What a freaking sham this is going to be, I hate this broad. or vice-versa.
That's the rub of it all. No one feels the destruction coming on. But at that very moment when the bride comes down the aisle, tears in her eyes, a proud father on her arm, so much love, so much pride there's a chance that it can turn into:
- Utter destruction, the crash and burn, the I hate you, and you cook like shit. The we used to be so close, and the extra 40 pounds, and the kids are dinks, and the dog shit in the basement, and the how the hell can we be broke, and drinking heavily, and perfume on the collar, or hidden texts, and lies and lawyers and I really don't care anymore.
But there's also the opportunity to have it end in:
- years of togetherness, finishing each others sentences, giggling at the movies, sharing every meal, always watching one anothers back...always respecting, making love, standing proudly next to the children as they accomplish something, growing old together, achieving life's ultimate goals, or having someone right there on your arm when life swings its hammer of despair.
And it's a chance that we are willing to take.
I know Katie and Matt very well. Two very smart, young people, who seem so perfect together...Congratulations...I sanction this wedding.
And don't come running to me later on!
It's also strange because every single time I go to a wedding I think of two things:
1). My character Waldorf, in my widely acclaimed book Waldorf & Juli (I learned self-promotion from King LeBron), was standing at the front of the church waiting for his bride when his best man said: This is either the greatest moment in your life, or the single standing in time that you'll look back on and rue with all of the hatred in your heart.
2). Or as Springsteen said in his widely acclaimed CD, Tunnel of Love, Would they ever look so happy again? The handsome groom and his bride, as they step into the long, black limousine, for their mystery ride?
And, I'm here to tell you folks, it's sort of a crap shoot. Katie and Matt will be a wonderful couple and they will live a life of eternal happiness where they raise a couple of kids, love each other every day, and blissfully expire at the same moment about 70 years from now.
Or: They stand in front of a judge accusing one another of cruelty, infidelity, disrespect, abuse, and general differences of opinion that led to utter destruction.
Doesn't seem to be a lot of middle ground these days, and it is pretty scary when you reach middle-age and the couples around you start to drop.One after another. Never amicably. Always with a great deal of angst.
"So, what's the secret?" Matt asked as we sipped one of his final free beers at the stag.
"How the hell do I know?" I asked. "I thought OJ and Nicole were getting on terrifically."
"But you and Aunt Kathy always look like you're having fun."
"That's the secret, look like you're having fun," I said. "Respect each other. Simple as that," I said.
And it shouldn't be a secret. There should be that implied understanding when you stand up in front of the church, or the judge, or the gathering and make the commitment. And I'm quite sure that most people honestly believe that it is how it will work out.
Pretty hard to fathom the guy who says, "I Do," while thinking, What a freaking sham this is going to be, I hate this broad. or vice-versa.
That's the rub of it all. No one feels the destruction coming on. But at that very moment when the bride comes down the aisle, tears in her eyes, a proud father on her arm, so much love, so much pride there's a chance that it can turn into:
- Utter destruction, the crash and burn, the I hate you, and you cook like shit. The we used to be so close, and the extra 40 pounds, and the kids are dinks, and the dog shit in the basement, and the how the hell can we be broke, and drinking heavily, and perfume on the collar, or hidden texts, and lies and lawyers and I really don't care anymore.
But there's also the opportunity to have it end in:
- years of togetherness, finishing each others sentences, giggling at the movies, sharing every meal, always watching one anothers back...always respecting, making love, standing proudly next to the children as they accomplish something, growing old together, achieving life's ultimate goals, or having someone right there on your arm when life swings its hammer of despair.
And it's a chance that we are willing to take.
I know Katie and Matt very well. Two very smart, young people, who seem so perfect together...Congratulations...I sanction this wedding.
And don't come running to me later on!
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