Too Tough, Too Much

-
A lot of people seem to be reading this blog - some to catch up, some to listen to me rant, some to laugh as I compare myself to A-Rod, and the presidential candidates. For me, it's a release of pent-up energy, and random thoughts that haunt me on a daily basis - part therapy, part entertainment to be sure. When I'm writing, I'm making sense of all I hear, see, and feel. When I'm not, I sort of spin in a circle and believe that things can be tough, too tough, too sad, and too nonsensical. I tried not writing once, believing that a break would allow my mind to relax - about two weeks in, I asked my wife, "What do you people do?"

My new book - Blind Spot arrived in the mail yesterday. I had already seen the cover and layout. I had read the story about 15 times during the rewrite. My heart was still full of sadness because of the shit sandwich side of life - and I opened the book, glanced at some of the information gathered, and set it aside. Not proud, not happy, just done. I showed it to my boys who nodded and to my wife who said, "Nice."

It's been a long time since I grew excited about the process and that might be a shame. Yet the one thought that did fill my head was that I wrote Blind Spot about pain, heartbreak, and the what-happens-after-the shit-hits-the-fan. The book is solely about the hurt that comes with living and the sink-or swim puzzle that it brings. I love the story and am thankful for a tremendous effort on the part of those at Sterlinghouse. Yet I feel a little down about it - as I usually do - because besides the promotion and the fact that others will hopefully enjoy it, the journey is over for me, and here I sit - 9 books in - knowing that I still don't have any concrete answers other than I need to continue searching.

I hate when life brings too much at once, but as I mentioned about a million times in Blind Spot - it begs a response. A positive response, hopefully, but some sort of response nonetheless.

Comments

deafjeff said…
I miss being around for the whole writing part. I used to love sitting next the hot water tank and furnace office of yours, reading what you had just wrote while we were playing Nintendo or Ping Pong. The green screen was always blinding, but actually feeling like my opinions and proof reading helped alittle always made me good. Or maybe that was the beer pong.
05 September, 2008
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

My Buddy, Dave

-
Way back in 1997, I started working with a steel erection company out of Syracuse. I was coming straight from a long stint with a steel erector here in Buffalo so I knew my stuff when it came to steel erection safety rules. On day one, I met with the safety director and he was just getting started as a safety guy, but man, he certainly cared about the guys he worked with. Dave was a good man from the start. He’d say things like: “You’re so full of beans.” Just a down to earth, hardworking guy who became a fast friend. We drove all around New York State setting up jobs. I always let Dave drive so that I could rest. One fine day, way up North of Syracuse, we passed a state trooper.  I glanced at the speedometer. “You’re screwed,” I said, and seconds later, the lights came on. Dave was beside himself.  The cop stopped by the window, grabbed the license and registration and headed back to his vehicle. “Here’s the thing,” I said. “You’re pissed, but you’re such a good guy that I be...
Read more

Mom & Ollie

-
Image
 Ollie Stadium is a mess. The heavy rains rendered the backyard a mud pit and even though we threw in the side yard, the Big O was looking for more, and we were both covered in mud. I had to take some steam out of him somehow so I suggested we go visit Grandma. Ollie hates the car, but he laid quietly as we made the trip. We even brought the football because there is plenty of room to play at Grandma’s. Mom opened the door and started laughing. I thought about the love she had for every single dog we ever had. Oliver was quick to give my Mom a kiss, and then he stood beside her. The love between Mom and Dogs is a mutual bond. Through the years, Mom would make breakfast for the dogs.  Fried eggs, toast, bacon… She would wrap Christmas gifts for them. “To Jeter, Love Santa,” she would write on the cards. They played with the big chicken that made a lot of noise. Mom tossed the football and Ollie brought it back to her. As the visit drew to a close I headed for the door.  “C...
Read more

Eyes on the Horizon

-
Image
My sister’s book is out there! Go get it!! It makes me so proud to see the book on Amazon, knowing that it’s very, very great! It’s been a long, long time since we were out in California, brainstorming my stories long before they were published. Carrie Lynn was writing, writing and writing some more through the years and I kept telling her… …”Go for it!” Well, she did!  To amazing results. Of course I was able to read the book as it was being put together, but I ordered a copy from Amazon yesterday and can’t wait to read it again. The shoe is on the other foot now as I have been sitting on a lot of my writing lately. I plan on getting it out there before the end of 2024, but for now: Carrie takes center stage! And it’s so great… …go get a copy!
Read more