Friday, September 30, 2016

Nuns Run Bald

The Bruce book is everything I thought it would be. I can hear his voice telling me the story and while I had heard a lot about his life it is different coming right from him.

One of the parts I really enjoyed was his interaction with the nuns during his Catholic school days.

Bruce got beat-down!

I know the feeling!

There were certainly a few nuns at Holy Spirit who had their absolute fill of me.

I was paddled almost daily because of my wise-mouth. The problem being that I understood the penalty pretty early on and I still mouthed off...

...so even at the tender age of 8...

...I wanted to mouth off...

...damn the consequences!

Bruce also told a story about being an altar boy. In his story he was dragged, faced down, by the priest across the altar...

...with the church filled to the rafters.

He spoke of the audible gasp that went up from his family.

I know the feeling!

I was about 7 or 8 and I was sent out to light 8 candles...before Mass started...

I was holding a single match for way too long.

I lit two of the candles, but the match burned down and got to my fingers. When I felt the burn, I shook my hand and yelped.

The congregation howled!

I heard the priest bellow:

Get in here!

He grabbed my left ear and twisted.

"Are you a retard?" He asked me.

That had been the second time I had been referred to as a 'retard' in my early life. My kindergarten teacher had also mentioned that possibility when I jumped on my locker mates back and left him with about 48 stitches on day one.

But...

...no hard feelings.

As Bruce mentioned:

"I don't participate in all of the services, but I'm still on the team."

I'm still squarely on the team as well, but when someone hammers you with paddles, twisted ears, nasty words, rulers, door knobs and whatever else they can grab to bash you with, you gotta' give it to Bruce's lyric:

Nuns run bald through Vatican Halls, pregnant, pleading Immaculate Conception.

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