308 Million People

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The census has been conducted and the overall population of the United States is set at 308 million, give or take the thousands of missing people who fill up our 48 Hours Mystery Shows.

It seems to me that of that 308 million about half of them are on Milestrip Road trying to get to the Home Depot, Office Max and Applebees. About a quarter million of them are going straight in the right hand lane when I am trying to make a right on red.

I remember being at a Springsteen concert a long time ago at the CNE up in Toronto and my buddy Fluff just kept yelling out, "Why are there so many (freaking) people in my way! Don't you people have homes?" he screamed.

And there are quite a few people who always seem to be in the way and who seem to be less tolerant of everyone else and their plans to live. Just saying, people, people everywhere!

And where does it stop? The article says that we are heading for 400 million by the time that 2040 rolls around. Let's see...quick math...carry the one...that would make me 76 years old.

Can you imagine how much crankier I'll be as an old man...completely bald, horribly more misshapen, swinging a golf club (hopefully), and wondering why the hell I can't get a tee time because there are so many (freaking) people.

Ah, what the hell. The more the merrier. Bring me your poor and downtrodden.

Imagine the unemployment rate by then? If you have a job, you'll be a king.

Merry Christmas to all 308 million of you.

And stay out of the right hand lane, please.

Comments

Carrie Lynn Fazzolari said…
The sixth paragraph... totally thought of Frank from Everybody Loves Raymond...
26 December, 2010
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