The New English
I PRAISE YOU 24/7!!!!!! AND THIS HOW YOU DO ME!!!!! YOU EXPECT ME TO LEARN FROM THIS??? HOW???!!! ILL NEVER FORGET THIS!! EVER!!! THX THO...”
The above is the tweet message that Steve Johnson of the Bills sent to God after God made Johnson drop that pass last week. Not to get into the theological aspects of it again, I would like to break down the sentence structure and grammar.
You see, I just came off a week where an editor busted my balls for serial commas and en dashes as opposed to em dashes. Yet getting a text or reading Face Book for ten minutes will give you a real headache as you try and decipher the primitive language.
I need to take a course.
For instance...in the early days whenever someone sent me a message that said LOL or LMFAO...I had to go to the kids to ask what it meant.
Then there are these messages. "I wntd 2 ask u 4 a favor."
I texted back: "Is this Prince?"
The above by Johnson wasn't so bad. He used full words, but someone needs to take his exclamation point key away. And why all capital letters? Is he yelling at God? And my favorite sentence of all is:
AND THIS HOW YOU DO ME?
God has to be sitting on the throne asking St. Peter..."What the hell is this guy trying to say?"
Seriously though, it is the continued dumbing down of America.
There I said it.
Look on the various sites. Who the hell knows the difference between to, too and two? Can anyone actually tell you when to use there, their or they're?
It drives me crazy. Every time I get a text with someone and there's a grammatical error, I let them know about it.
Text to me: I whn 2 c u but you werent their
Text from me: Hey R2D2 I don't know what the hell that means and the 'their' in your sentence should be 'there'.
Fortunately for me my main text buddies, Pops and Gag, are conversant in the English language and we send the most readable texts in the world back and forth to one another.
Do you know anyone else who uses periods and commas?
I do. Perhaps I screw up the serial comma every now and again, but I refuse to buy into the fact that I am too busy to write out the word 'two.'
(Look at that I used all three 2's in that sentence...correctly).
Perhaps I should ask God for some guidance. I am preparing a text for him.
"Deer Big 1!!! I lisn 2 U but U dnt here me!!! Y U do me like tht???? Dnt U lke me up their???? Mybe I wnt give u tks know more!!!!!!
I can hear God now:
"Don't answer that dumb bastard."
PS: Hopefully everything is grammatically correct in this post. There are times when I catch my own mistakes a day or so after posting something and it bothers the hell out of me.
The above is the tweet message that Steve Johnson of the Bills sent to God after God made Johnson drop that pass last week. Not to get into the theological aspects of it again, I would like to break down the sentence structure and grammar.
You see, I just came off a week where an editor busted my balls for serial commas and en dashes as opposed to em dashes. Yet getting a text or reading Face Book for ten minutes will give you a real headache as you try and decipher the primitive language.
I need to take a course.
For instance...in the early days whenever someone sent me a message that said LOL or LMFAO...I had to go to the kids to ask what it meant.
Then there are these messages. "I wntd 2 ask u 4 a favor."
I texted back: "Is this Prince?"
The above by Johnson wasn't so bad. He used full words, but someone needs to take his exclamation point key away. And why all capital letters? Is he yelling at God? And my favorite sentence of all is:
AND THIS HOW YOU DO ME?
God has to be sitting on the throne asking St. Peter..."What the hell is this guy trying to say?"
Seriously though, it is the continued dumbing down of America.
There I said it.
Look on the various sites. Who the hell knows the difference between to, too and two? Can anyone actually tell you when to use there, their or they're?
It drives me crazy. Every time I get a text with someone and there's a grammatical error, I let them know about it.
Text to me: I whn 2 c u but you werent their
Text from me: Hey R2D2 I don't know what the hell that means and the 'their' in your sentence should be 'there'.
Fortunately for me my main text buddies, Pops and Gag, are conversant in the English language and we send the most readable texts in the world back and forth to one another.
Do you know anyone else who uses periods and commas?
I do. Perhaps I screw up the serial comma every now and again, but I refuse to buy into the fact that I am too busy to write out the word 'two.'
(Look at that I used all three 2's in that sentence...correctly).
Perhaps I should ask God for some guidance. I am preparing a text for him.
"Deer Big 1!!! I lisn 2 U but U dnt here me!!! Y U do me like tht???? Dnt U lke me up their???? Mybe I wnt give u tks know more!!!!!!
I can hear God now:
"Don't answer that dumb bastard."
PS: Hopefully everything is grammatically correct in this post. There are times when I catch my own mistakes a day or so after posting something and it bothers the hell out of me.
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