This is the time of year when kids all over the world suffer through the same things that adults battle every day - waiting for their ship to come in. These five days before Christmas are like those moments when you open the paper to check your Mega Millions ticket. Of course, it usually works out better for the kids because at least they get something at the end of the day.
Is it too much to ask to get one freaking number for my five bucks? How in the hell can I get that many numbers and not match even one? There should be a prize for that.
The boys were a bit antsy last night. Before long hee-hee and ha-ha were in trouble because they just wouldn't stop. Hee-hee eventually got the message, but ha-ha was still driving us both crazy. As I get older I find myself saying things like - "It's after nine o'clock, we need to settle down."
After nine o'clock on a Saturday night is time to settle down? By ten o'clock, not having heard much for a little while I decided to check in on ha-ha.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
He was seated on his bed with his hands folded in his lap as though he were practicing yoga. The television was silent.
"I'll just sit here until Christmas. God knows I can't laugh."
Of course I laughed. He was pulling reverse torture on me - and it was working - I was feeling lousy.
"What do you want for Christmas?" I asked.
"Absolutely nothing," he replied.
"So we should take back the two-hundred-thousand dollars of stuff we got you?" I asked.
I saw the hint of a smile.
"Give it to the poor," he said.
(Did I tell you my kids are wise-asses?)
All at once hee-hee entered the room and jumped on my back and ha-ha started laughing again and before long the entire show was back on the air.
It's going to be a long five days, but I don't think those presents will make it to the poor.
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