I've officially lost it - I can no longer shake any one's hand without immediately thinking about getting hand sanitizer.
Today was particularly troublesome as I saw a bunch of people and immediately had to shake hands.
There was one particularly sceevy bastard who wanted to offer his hand and I kept pretending that I didn't see it.
Finally, he thrust it right into my mid-section - so I shook it.
Don't touch your hands to your mouth, don't touch your hands to your mouth, I kept thinking.
Thankfully, there was a bathroom nearby - I cleaned my hands and headed back out to the group- don't you know someone new came up and stuck their freaking hand out -
shake, shake, shake - asshole sneezed too.
The rest of the meeting was all about not touching anyone else - but of course, I shook about three more hands.
What am I running for office? Why do these people want to touch my hand anyway?
So stupid - I'm turning into Howie Mandel.
I found a bottle of sanitizer on my way out - cleaned my hands.
Cleaned them again when I got back in my car.
Don't worry about shaking my hand - I'm clean.
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