My Hat is in the Ring
I'm officially declaring that I am fully interested in coaching the Buffalo Bills for the next three or so years.
Before you scoff at my candidacy let's examine my football background:
I played one year of Little Loop (I believe I was ten years old).
I wanted to be a running back, but when the coaches noticed that I ran like a wounded animal they switched me to defense where I proceeded to spend the first eight games on the bench.
The only cool thing about the games were the orange slices at halftime. I'd eat about eleven oranges before the starters even made it off the field.
Then I got into a game - and this is no lie - I picked off the first pass they threw in my direction.
As I caught the ball I thought about how I'd make those bastard coaches pay for not playing me at running back - I was moving like Larry Brown through the field when I was hit.
I fumbled.
The other team scooped it up.
And returned it for a touchdown.
I never played again.
Seems like I'm perfect head coaching material for that weak organization.
And I'll do it for $49 million less than Shanahan wants.
Before you scoff at my candidacy let's examine my football background:
I played one year of Little Loop (I believe I was ten years old).
I wanted to be a running back, but when the coaches noticed that I ran like a wounded animal they switched me to defense where I proceeded to spend the first eight games on the bench.
The only cool thing about the games were the orange slices at halftime. I'd eat about eleven oranges before the starters even made it off the field.
Then I got into a game - and this is no lie - I picked off the first pass they threw in my direction.
As I caught the ball I thought about how I'd make those bastard coaches pay for not playing me at running back - I was moving like Larry Brown through the field when I was hit.
I fumbled.
The other team scooped it up.
And returned it for a touchdown.
I never played again.
Seems like I'm perfect head coaching material for that weak organization.
And I'll do it for $49 million less than Shanahan wants.
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