Dishes Full of Sink

-
There's an old episode of Seinfeld where Jerry informs George that perhaps he needs a psychiatrist. George asks Jerry if he really thinks it's necessary and Jerry explains that a team of psychiatrists working around the clock probably couldn't cure what ails George. Typical Larry David -funny stuff.

I'm right there with Mr. Costanza.

Through all of my adult life I'd have to say that the one thing that ails me most is clutter. I'm not trying to dig too deep here, but I hate when things are out of place. I'm not a clean-freak, mind you, but I have a deep desire to put everything away.

Pop cans waiting to be recycled? Absolute madness. The shoes tossed into the storage room, not in pairs? Drives me nuts. Waking up to the dishes full of sink? Threatens to make me jump from the highest bridge.

And I did say that correctly - dishes full of sink - and that's because during one of my melt-downs, yelling at Matt or Jake or Sam for eating a three-course meal before bed, and leaving the dishes scattered around like dead soldiers so I could find them heavily crusted in the morning - I yelled - "I DON'T WANT TO WAKE UP TO THE DISHES FULL OF SINK EVERY MORNING."

Sam laughed first. Jake soon joined him, and Matt, knowing that laughter wasn't truly appropriate, battled the giggle before letting it go.

"YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY?"

"It's kind of funny," Kathy said, coming to the aid of the children. "You said, dishes full of sink."

I walked away, stifling my own grin.

Yet I need those psychiatrists to tell me why I feel unable to write when there is even a hint of a job to do. I need Freud to explain to me why I have to rearrange the black notebook on my desk in such a manner before the mind is free to create. I need that psychiatrist from M*A*S*H to explain why a dirty dish can't rest in the sink - which is actually a fairly appropriate place for it to be.

A couple of nights ago, a buddy of mine swung by for a drink. Out of the blue, he started explaining why it's so difficult to raise two young girls who have also done a lot of lounging around during the summer break.

"I wake up and the sink is full of dishes," he said.

Sam and Kathy were both listening in. Sam cleared his throat and corrected my buddy. "Dishes full of sink," he said.

They all had a nice little laugh. My buddy brought it up to me this morning.

Perhaps Bob Newhart - who played a great psychiatrist on the old show - can bail me out.

As I head down the stairs this morning I am sure of one thing, if there's a pan left in the sink, I'm going to wake up the boys by banging on it like a bongo.

That's good mental health, isn't it?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Suits

-
Like a lot of other people we got pulled into the series, ‘Suits’ on Netflix. I’ve never had much fun hanging around lawyers who have questioned me as a construction safety officer. I once testified in a case where the opposing lawyer started questioning me by going through my educational background. “So,” he said, racing to a crescendo, “You graduated from college with a degree in Communications-Journalism and suddenly, 30 years later, you’re a ‘safety expert.’” He actually made the quotation marks with his fingers. I just looked at him. “How does that happen?” He bellowed, sure that he was going to discredit me. “Well,” I said. “I knew I was overqualified to become a lawyer.” The courtroom erupted in laughter. Even the judge chuckled. The rest of his questions landed flat. So, I wasn’t all that keen on a show about lawyers, but ‘Suits’ is great. Meghan Markle became a princess because of the show, and she is very good in it (and a beautiful woman). Yet, there is so much more. The wri
Read more

My Buddy, Dave

-
Way back in 1997, I started working with a steel erection company out of Syracuse. I was coming straight from a long stint with a steel erector here in Buffalo so I knew my stuff when it came to steel erection safety rules. On day one, I met with the safety director and he was just getting started as a safety guy, but man, he certainly cared about the guys he worked with. Dave was a good man from the start. He’d say things like: “You’re so full of beans.” Just a down to earth, hardworking guy who became a fast friend. We drove all around New York State setting up jobs. I always let Dave drive so that I could rest. One fine day, way up North of Syracuse, we passed a state trooper.  I glanced at the speedometer. “You’re screwed,” I said, and seconds later, the lights came on. Dave was beside himself.  The cop stopped by the window, grabbed the license and registration and headed back to his vehicle. “Here’s the thing,” I said. “You’re pissed, but you’re such a good guy that I bet you tha
Read more

Hot & Dusty

-
Back about 18 years ago I worked with a project manager who taught me to always include the weather in my recap of the days events. This was during the summer months, and before long I was getting descriptive in my accounts. I used to always write something like, "Cloudy with a drizzle of rain," or my personal favorite, "Hot & Dusty." The project manager used to laugh at some of the strange one's I'd come up with, but I thought of it again this week when a buddy texted from Philly to let me know how much snow was coming down. "How's the weather there?" Gag asked. "Hot and dusty," was the quick reply. An my oh, my isn't this refreshing - people out there in computer land are whining and crying about all of the snow and the postponed school and the treacherous driving, and here in sunny Buffalo, we wait, and laugh, and laugh and laugh. I probably shouldn't jinx it because we deserve our rep up here, but it is kind of funny t
Read more