Fingernails

Movie night was a real conversation starter.

The premise is a place where people show up to see if they’re a love match with their wives, girlfriends, or whoever you are matched with.

A bunch of tests are run to see if you’re truly compatible, the most demanding of which:

They rip off a fingernail from each and run a test to see how truly deserving you are of being matched.

“We should do that,” Kathy said.

“No freaking way,” I said.

“I want to see if we are a true match.”

I laughed.

“Don’t you?” She asked.

“I have to get a fingernail ripped off?” I asked.

“We both do.”

“Yeah. That ain’t happening,” I said.

“Don’t you want to know?” Kathy asked, laughing as well.

“I don’t give a shit,” I said. “No one is ripping off one of my fingernails.”

I lost a fingernail once.

It certainly isn’t pleasant. 

“There isn’t a single thing they could possibly tell me that would be worth the pain of losing a fingernail,” I said.

“What if they told us that we are a perfect 100% match for all eternity?” Kathy asked.

“Don’t give a shit.”

As for the movie?

It was definitely all right.

Two thumbs up.

Fingernails intact.