Move Ring

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About a month ago my phone updated and the next day I received a notification about halfway through the day that exclaimed:

“You can do it! Burn 250 more calories to meet your goal for the day.”

I wanted to ask who the hell was in my phone.

By the end of the day I received a congratulatory message that was a pat on the back for reaching my goal.

We have been battling most days since then.

“You can do it! Only 180 more calories to go!”

Then when I wake up:

“You did NOT meet your move ring goals for yesterday. Let’s do better today!”

And it’s been a vicious cycle and lately the dude has been pissing me off.

“You fell 80 calories short yesterday. Get off your lazy ass today, huh, Cliff?”

And I don’t know who is setting the goals but midway through last week I had some BIG jobs.

Up and down ladders.

Over and under scaffolds.

I was supposed to be considering some of the OSHA regulations that my contractor was abusing but instead:

“Hey, move ring, asswipe, you getting this?”

Turns out he wasn’t.

I had left the phone in the car.

That night’s message was particularly troublesome.

“You finished 200 calories short of your goal!”

I was looking for a place to respond.

Wanted to Google ‘Move Ring Dude’ to let him know that I had actually exceeded my goal.

No luck.

I hate move ring guy.

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