She Wasn’t Impressed

Kathy hasn’t been feeling great (tested negative) but she doesn’t have the strength to fight me over the remote so we were watching an episode of Monk early Sunday morning.

The plot of the episode was a setup by a man who was trying to impress a girl. He asked a couple of friends to pretend to rob him. He would then fight off the guys and be a hero in front of the girl.

I laughed.

“What?” Kathy asked. “Story time?”

“Yeah. I had the same plan.”

In the Monk episode everything went awry and the guy accidentally shot one of his friends.

“How’d it work out for you?” I laughed again.

“The plan was for me to pass by a bench with a huge bush behind it. My two idiot roommates, with masks on their faces were going to jump out and demand my wallet. I was going to punch one guy and trip the other one.”

“Didn’t work out that way?”

“We got to the bush and they didn’t jump out. They weren’t there. So, we kept walking and honestly, I forgot about them. This girl was really pretty.”

“Doubt it,” Kathy said. 

“Ten minutes later, they jumped out.”

I was laughing so hard I couldn’t go on.

“What?”

“Scared the piss out of me. She was screaming, I was screaming, I slipped and tore out the knee of my jeans. My roommates were laughing so hard that they decided the best thing to do was run off.”

“Did the girl know they were your friends?”

“No,” I said, “but she truly was not impressed.”

“No second date?”

“Nope.”