In My Dreams

There are mornings when I wake up just knowing that Dad came to visit me.

I see him clearly, and hear his voice.

I wake up thanking God or the part of my brain that brings him to me in those nightly visits.

The celebration of his birthday each year since he passed away isn’t a sad event for me because the one thing I know to be true about Dad is that he emptied the freaking tank every single day.

He lived life hard.

Dad succeeded at so many things in so many ways and I had a front row seat to all of it.

We spent time on the road together, eating great dinners (that he usually prepared), drank hundreds of beers together, argued, listened to music, went to ballgames, and had deep conversations that often exploded into laughter.

One of the best moments, near the end of his life came when I told him a joke that he’d never heard.

It made him spit his coffee, and I can still see that burst of laughter.

He made me tell the joke to others at get-togethers afterwards.

And of course, his voice is in my head as I live out my days.

Those who live before us are partners in our lives after they’re gone.

Dad has been a good partner over the last ten years, although he was a far greater partner when I could call him.

A strange thing happened just a couple of months ago:

Springsteen was on a talk show and Colbert asked Bruce:

“You can only have one song that you can listen to for the rest of your days. What’s your song?”

Bruce didn’t think about it too long:

“Summer Wind’ by Sinatra.”

I wanted to call Dad immediately. 

We had a lot of conversations about music. Dad always argued about Bruce’s voice and whether or not the music would stand the test of time.

Near the end of Sinatra’s life Bruce appeared with the Chairman of the Board and Frank’s appreciation of Bruce validated my love of Springsteen in Dad’s eyes.

Dad would have thoroughly enjoyed the fact that Bruce chose a Frank song.

And you know what?

I agreed with Bruce again!

‘Summer Wind’ is an exceptional song.

I know it well.

I listened to it about a thousand times with Dad.

So, the celebration of Dad’s birthday this year isn’t a sad event.

In fact, I’m kind of hoping he visits soon.