Ass Update

Now, I know there’s real news out there:

Cosby was released from jail.

Brittany Spears is still a slave to her father.

The T***p organization indictments came down. 

Donald Rumsfeld died.

But I know, that you’re all clamoring to know how the pain in my ass is going.

Yes, the sciatica pain that has tortured me for the past few days was analyzed and discussed a lot around Camp Clifford

(Also, the camp is closed following an epic 21st birthday bender and a visit from nephew Johnny - no word on reopening).

I booked a massage with a therapist that I knew would help.

She smiled when she saw me and asked how it was going.

“Mess,” I said, and she laughed.

The thing about a great therapist is that they know the body. 

“We’ll get it under control.”

I actually think she was standing on the pressure point at one time or another. 

Felt like it.

“How does it happen?” I asked.

“That I don’t know,” she said. “Your muscles are way too tight and then it sits on the nerve, right about here.”

She pushed on the spot and I thought about jumping off the table and crashing through the 2nd floor window.

But a good 70 minutes later she was done, and when I stood up I knew that my life had vastly improved, but it’s still a tad sore.

“Now it’s about being smart and stretching and not over-exerting everything so you aren’t all out of whack in 2 weeks.”

I nodded.

“Drink plenty of water. Do you have the page that shows all the stretches I want you to do?”

I nodded again, slowly.

“All right then, forget it. I’ll see you in a couple of weeks.”

We both laughed.

As of this writing, I still have a pain in the buttocks, but I can definitely move around a lot better.

“You gonna’ play golf over the weekend?” She asked.

“Absolutely!”

Sciatica.

Sucks!