Ass Update

-

Now, I know there’s real news out there:

Cosby was released from jail.

Brittany Spears is still a slave to her father.

The T***p organization indictments came down. 

Donald Rumsfeld died.

But I know, that you’re all clamoring to know how the pain in my ass is going.

Yes, the sciatica pain that has tortured me for the past few days was analyzed and discussed a lot around Camp Clifford

(Also, the camp is closed following an epic 21st birthday bender and a visit from nephew Johnny - no word on reopening).

I booked a massage with a therapist that I knew would help.

She smiled when she saw me and asked how it was going.

“Mess,” I said, and she laughed.

The thing about a great therapist is that they know the body. 

“We’ll get it under control.”

I actually think she was standing on the pressure point at one time or another. 

Felt like it.

“How does it happen?” I asked.

“That I don’t know,” she said. “Your muscles are way too tight and then it sits on the nerve, right about here.”

She pushed on the spot and I thought about jumping off the table and crashing through the 2nd floor window.

But a good 70 minutes later she was done, and when I stood up I knew that my life had vastly improved, but it’s still a tad sore.

“Now it’s about being smart and stretching and not over-exerting everything so you aren’t all out of whack in 2 weeks.”

I nodded.

“Drink plenty of water. Do you have the page that shows all the stretches I want you to do?”

I nodded again, slowly.

“All right then, forget it. I’ll see you in a couple of weeks.”

We both laughed.

As of this writing, I still have a pain in the buttocks, but I can definitely move around a lot better.

“You gonna’ play golf over the weekend?” She asked.

“Absolutely!”

Sciatica.

Sucks!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Suits

-
Like a lot of other people we got pulled into the series, ‘Suits’ on Netflix. I’ve never had much fun hanging around lawyers who have questioned me as a construction safety officer. I once testified in a case where the opposing lawyer started questioning me by going through my educational background. “So,” he said, racing to a crescendo, “You graduated from college with a degree in Communications-Journalism and suddenly, 30 years later, you’re a ‘safety expert.’” He actually made the quotation marks with his fingers. I just looked at him. “How does that happen?” He bellowed, sure that he was going to discredit me. “Well,” I said. “I knew I was overqualified to become a lawyer.” The courtroom erupted in laughter. Even the judge chuckled. The rest of his questions landed flat. So, I wasn’t all that keen on a show about lawyers, but ‘Suits’ is great. Meghan Markle became a princess because of the show, and she is very good in it (and a beautiful woman). Yet, there is so much more. The wri
Read more

My Buddy, Dave

-
Way back in 1997, I started working with a steel erection company out of Syracuse. I was coming straight from a long stint with a steel erector here in Buffalo so I knew my stuff when it came to steel erection safety rules. On day one, I met with the safety director and he was just getting started as a safety guy, but man, he certainly cared about the guys he worked with. Dave was a good man from the start. He’d say things like: “You’re so full of beans.” Just a down to earth, hardworking guy who became a fast friend. We drove all around New York State setting up jobs. I always let Dave drive so that I could rest. One fine day, way up North of Syracuse, we passed a state trooper.  I glanced at the speedometer. “You’re screwed,” I said, and seconds later, the lights came on. Dave was beside himself.  The cop stopped by the window, grabbed the license and registration and headed back to his vehicle. “Here’s the thing,” I said. “You’re pissed, but you’re such a good guy that I bet you tha
Read more

Mom & Ollie

-
Image
 Ollie Stadium is a mess. The heavy rains rendered the backyard a mud pit and even though we threw in the side yard, the Big O was looking for more, and we were both covered in mud. I had to take some steam out of him somehow so I suggested we go visit Grandma. Ollie hates the car, but he laid quietly as we made the trip. We even brought the football because there is plenty of room to play at Grandma’s. Mom opened the door and started laughing. I thought about the love she had for every single dog we ever had. Oliver was quick to give my Mom a kiss, and then he stood beside her. The love between Mom and Dogs is a mutual bond. Through the years, Mom would make breakfast for the dogs.  Fried eggs, toast, bacon… She would wrap Christmas gifts for them. “To Jeter, Love Santa,” she would write on the cards. They played with the big chicken that made a lot of noise. Mom tossed the football and Ollie brought it back to her. As the visit drew to a close I headed for the door.  “C’mon, Oliver,”
Read more