To the Nines

It’s a European saying.

“Dressed up to the nines.”

Nothing too major about it, it just means to perfection.

On Saturday morning I came downstairs and Kathy said, “Oh, are you wearing your Bruce shirt cause you’re going to the movie tonight?”

I looked down.

Was the cover shot of ‘Born to Run’. The shirt that features Bruce and Clarence shoulder-to-shoulder.

“Did you do that on purpose?”

“When have I ever put on an article of clothing on purpose?”

I took stock.

Not dressed to the nines.

Not even to the threes.

The aforementioned concert tee. A pair of blue shorts with white paint on them and a pair of white socks that are way higher than how my kids wear them.

The disconcerting part?

There are holes in them and once in awhile my big toe pops out.

Worst part?

I have other socks!

They are tighter though and my crazy feet nerves makes my wearing them uncomfortable. I need them to be loose!

So, I have about 5 pair of ‘good ones’ and those have holes in them because I wear them all the time and I don’t wear shoes when I go outside some times.

I will eventually get some more socks.

Maybe even this week.

Thing is, when we were first married Kathy tried to change my wardrobe. She actually bought me a few ‘outfits’.

“That shirt will look nice with those dress pants.”

I remember that conversation.

Don’t think I ever wore that outfit.

When I was going to book events or speaking somewhere, she’d dress me. I was wearing the famous ‘I see your nipples’ shirt on live television because she made me wear it.

(For the uninitiated, my brother Jeff got through on the phone as I appeared on afternoon television with a surgeon from Women & Children’s Hospital.

“Do you have a question for Dr. Caty?” The host asked.

“No,” Jeff said, “But let Cliff know I can see his nipples through that shirt.”)

Anywhoha...

...I need socks.

Then I’ll be dressed to the nines.

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