Thoughts of a Common Man

I last read the classic Truman Capote book back in about 1975 or 1976. I recall my Mom saying, “Don’t repeat any bad words!” Of course I’ve always taken great pleasure in reading all books, but Mom struck again as she gifted me a Barnes & Noble card for Christmas. I saw “In Cold Blood” in the featured rack for just $8.00. I was excited about the prospect of reading it again. For the uninitiated it’s a true crime story about a 1959 slaughter of a family in Kansas. Capote published the book in 1965. The dates are important because as I read it again, 42 years after the first read through I wanted to see how the world had changed. The killers went on the run. They were undetected for quite some time. Our ability to communicate has improved so, they probably would’ve been run down quicker in this day and age. I was fascinated to read about one of the killer’s thoughts on class warfare, fake religious beliefs, and governmental complaints. The more things change! Capote...

I often think back to my early 20’s. Although I had a whole lot of fun, I don’t particularly care for that part of my life. ‘Cause I felt a lot of pressure! I was still a kid, longing to be a man. I was sitting around waiting for my life to begin, feeling as if it were just slipping away. Up to that point I’d done what I was supposed to do. Worked every free moment, obtained a bachelors degree, and stayed out of trouble, but I kept thinking: “What am I going to do?” I had a family to lean on, and parents who let me know that I could find my way, and that they were okay if it took awhile. There seems to be even more pressure on these kids. I took some student loans, but I was able to pay them off. The amount of money a kid might owe now is mind-boggling. The costs of college and the pilfering of our future is embarrassing. But societal expectations are difficult to navigate as well. Kids feel like they should be famous! My oldest finished college...he busted his as...

Back when we were kids we’d have a fight or two and our parents would break us up and separate us. We’d be forced to cool down. We were stronger when we got back together. The differences settled. In any long marriage there are moments of disagreement. Retreating to neutral corners is a grand idea. The left-right division in our country is devoid of compromise and there’s no movement at all. It’s why there are such horrible fights, even though we can all agree that something as horrible as a school shooting should never happen. That’s all that we can seemingly agree on. After that it all goes to hell. It’s exactly why the president can sit with grieving children... ...and 48 hours later lead a chant that protects gun rights. Do you know that there are people who despise the hurting children who are marching for change? It’s subtle, but the fear of having gun rights compromised has resulted in some people bashing those thoughtful children. No one listens to the...

I often wonder about life down the line. What will America look like in 2068? Just 50 years away. A short time really. I recall some things from 1968. I really do! I was a huge Wilt Chamberlain fan back then. Just a little while later I remember crying cause the Knicks beat the Lakers in Game 7. I also recall Mom making us watch the moon landing. I didn’t want to. “This is important!” In 2068, I’m scheduled to be 104 years old. Probably won’t get there, and if I do, I won’t be walking. The hips, feet and legs are about cooked now. But it’s not about me (although I’ll be sad to go). It’s about what we have now. Will it still be viable? My kids should ring in the year 2068. Their kids definitely should. Well, if you want to talk slippery slopes, we’re on one now. Will America survive? Somehow, we gotta’ be kind. I was stuffed in the backseat, leaning in to make sure I was between Mom and Dad as we listened to Nixon resign. “We gonna’ be all right?” I asked...

We booked our flights a few weeks ago. Last week we finally decided on a hotel room. Our tickets remain in a safe location, and Bruce is back after a short break. The Fazzolari’s are on their way to Broadway. Here’s the thing, I’ve never attended a Broadway show. To think that our Broadway debut is a Springsteen show isn’t much of a stretch. It will be my 33rd Bruce Show, but we haven’t been in the same building for 2 years now... ...that’s too long of a stretch. So, pretty fired up! The other thing that has me going to is that we get to hang in New York for a couple of nights. I’ve been daydreaming about an Italian restaurant. Years ago, after seeing Bruce with my college roommate in Long Island, Rosie said: “No matter how many times I see Springsteen there’s always a moment in every show when a lyric or a song hits me. I learn something every time.” I have found that to be true. Two years ago, I was hit by a single line in ‘Independence Day’, a song I’d heard ...

So tired of the endless arguing and one dose of bad news after another. “I wish they’d pass a law that says he can’t tweet on Saturday or Sunday,” said a working slob at one of the job sites. “We gotta’ get aggravated by something new every damn day? Can’t we get one day a week off? He tweets five straight hateful things and then goes golfing.” I laughed. “Yeah, Let’s talk about something else,” I said. “Not baseball!” He said. “You’re a Yankees fan and I’m an Orioles fan. That’s not lining up as good news either.” “How about the weather?” I tried. “It was 70 on Tuesday and 30 today. I’m not thrilled with that either.” He was wearing a Roger Waters concert shirt. I’m a Waters fan, but missed the show. “How was it?” I asked. “Awesome. Man, he hates Trump.” “No!” I said. “We’re talking about something else!” “Right! You seeing any shows?” He asked. “Bruce!” I called out. “What’s new?” He said, with a laugh. “He’s on Broadway. I’m going next weekend. Got lucky....

I texted a wise friend of mine: Me: These kids are really going to make a difference in this gun debate. Him: LOL. Pollyanna. You never learn. 💰 Money! On Tuesday night, Florida failed to even garner enough votes to schedule a day to talk about possibly, maybe, eventually, kicking around the idea of perhaps not allowing people to buy AR-15’s. The vote wasn’t even close! They can’t even schedule a discussion on it!! On Wednesday evening I returned home to see my wife seated on the couch, with tears in her eyes, as she watched the gun discussion in front of the president. “At least he’s listening,” she said. “This is Breaking my heart.” How could it not? “These kids are going to make it change.” I thought of my conversation with my wise friend. “I hope so,” I said, “But the continued sale of guns is important to those in charge.” And the first words I heard from Trump... ...was a floating of an idea. Arming teachers. Putting armed security guards all over the...

The 14-month soap opera of the daily news can be mind-numbing. I’m tired to the endless, nasty tweets, the accusations, the guns, murder... ...needed a reprieve. I got a Twitter message. A photo of the spring training field of the 27-Time World Champion Greatest Franchise in Organized American Sports... ...the New York Freaking Yankees are stretching their muscle! And the Yankees being who they are, they put their two gigantic homerun monsters on display. They’re calling them Judge and Fury. Aaron Judge and Giancarlo Stanton were placed in the same group for batting practice. Gary Sanchez and Jacoby Ellsbury were teamed with them. Judge and Stanton only hit four homers between them in four rounds of BP. Sanchez hammered the longest blast of the day. So, not a whole lot of baseball went on yet... ...but there’s a reason to get excited. ‘Cause the season is just about 40 days away! I’m more comfortable with life during baseball season. There’s no more worrying a...

Luke Hoyer was just 15 years old. He was laid to rest on Monday, President’s Day, as the leader of the free world made the turn during his round of golf. Lukey-Bear, as Luke was affectionately called, loved chicken nuggets... ...and it was that simple fact that tore at my heart strings. My boy, Sam, is a chicken fries guy. He loves them, and he has a particular brand that he favors, and if I could I’d buy him 700 bags of them at a time. I get real excited when I find the kind he likes when I hit a grocery store. Sam has a ritual. He counts out the exact number of chicken fries that works in the microwave. He cooks them the same amount of time, and then he dumps a pile of hot sauce in the center. I learned that he makes two extra because Paris is often with him as he eats them, and my boy shares with his dog. All of that entered my mind as I thought of that poor family gathering to say goodbye to Luke. Why???? Because we are too damn stupid to stop this type of tra...

On Saturday there was an official release that said Trump wouldn’t be golfing out of respect for those who died in the school shooting. How incredibly gallant of him! Presidents Day isn’t about selling mattresses. It’s about leadership. If you weren’t paying attention to social media on Saturday night and Sunday morning you actually missed a complete meltdown in leadership. Trump used nicknames, sent out hateful tweets, told one lie after another about Russia and then capped it all off by politicizing the shooting in an effort to get people to stop looking at him as guilty with Russia. This is what we know: Russia interfered. American intelligence knew this way back in December of 2016. Obama proposed immediate punishment and Congress passed the bill that would enact sanctions. Trump eventually signed it... ...but refuses to enact the punishment. Why? “I don’t have anything to do with Russia! Never have!! No deals! Nothing!” Trump went off, saying this hundreds of t...

Over the last few months we have acquired a couch, a bookcase and a couple of tables. We didn’t need any of it. On Saturday, as I let the dogs out, or in, I noticed that we had also acquired a chair. It was plopped down on our backup kitchen table that we keep beside one of our many backup television sets. It’s an ugly chair. One of those crooked chairs that a psychiatrist might put you in if he were trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with your mind. “Where’d this thing come from?” I yelled up the stairs. “What is it?” Kathy asked. “I don’t know. It looks like a half chair, half lawn furniture.” “Oh! That’s ours. My sister was getting rid of it, I said we could use it.” “For what?” I asked. “Neither one of us could use it unless we fell on it.” “You never know,” she said. I just started laughing. “Maybe someone will need it,” she said. I laughed harder. “Who would need that?” “Stop. You’re making me sound like a hoarder.” That’s exactly what is ...

It’s very difficult to not think about the mass shooting in Florida, but they say that at every tragedy there are signs of heaven. I saw or listened to a number of interviews from kids who survived by hiding in a closet, or just being lucky enough not to be stricken. A funny thing happened. The kids were ready. They formulated arguments, slapped down the talking points, and demanded action. One after another they called out the Governor, the senator, all of Congress and the President. They answered every call for ‘Thoughts and Prayers’ with an explicit cry for action. “You’re the adults. We’re the children. Do something!” Was the central theme. And the next generation has listened to all of the complaints about how they’re all about participation trophies and tide pods and sitting on their asses. The kids I watched, filled with grief, weren’t just sitting back and taking it. “They just might be all right,” I thought. Every generation believes that the coming gener...

“An honest man’s pillow is his peace of mind.” Mellencamp sings that sentence in “Minutes to Memories.” I think of it often. When I place my head on the pillow each night I can do it knowing that I’ve made every effort to earn every dollar that passes through my hand. I also know that I do my best to treat those I love with the love they deserve, and I try the best I can to forgive others if I’m wronged. I don’t deserve an award. I don’t care if anyone else recognizes that I might be a good guy or that I bust my ass each day. I do it so I can put my head on that pillow and drift off to sleep without angst. I only have to compete with the high standards I set for myself as I grew. Those standards were formulated by not wanting to disappoint my family, my faith, my own heart. I bring all of this up because I heard Marco Rubio say: “Stricter gun control wouldn’t have made a difference.” Can he lay his head on his pillow knowing that he profited off such a stance? Trump...

In this day and age we are taken straight to the scene. It becomes easy to imagine the fear, the grief and the horror. Students being stuffed into a closet as a mentally-impaired individual stalks them with a weapon designed for war, and mass-marketed to pretty much anyone who wants them. Yet, in the immediate aftermath of such a tragedy, we become conditioned to shut things out. We hear the number. 17 dead this time. (And the media working to get to that all-important number in the hours after the first bullet flies...well...it’s disgusting). We shut it out. We don’t really zone in on the tearing flesh, the screaming, the blood. We don’t want to see that. But picture this: Picture a man. A husband. A father. Using his own body as a human shield to save as many children as he could. Picture the thoughts in his head. He knew he would likely die... ...he made a decision that the lives of those children were more important than his self interests. You kno...

“This is all that we’ve learned about living.” That lyric from the John Mellencamp song, “Check it Out” was stuck in my head all of Yesterday afternoon. This was my reality. I was still feeling lousy, but I had to do some training for about 100 people. I was well-prepared and in a good mood. We had some laughs, but had a tremendous discussion as well. The best I felt over the last three days was when I was speaking. Got off the stage and headed for my phone. The homepage was locked, but there were ten news updates. I saw two words: “School Shooting.” And the Mellencamp lyric popped into my mind. We can’t stop this? We can’t even begin a discussion regarding slowing it down?? I’m ashamed. I’m an adult in today’s world, and we, as a society, can not provide our children a safe place to gather to get educated. It’s not only that we CAN’T... ...we WON’T. Won’t even talk about it! The thoughts and prayers guys were out. That will be followed by the, “It’s too...

Try as I might, I couldn’t downgrade not feeling well to just being a state of mind. I had to cancel some appointments and the World didn’t end. Yet, I kept thinking about a nun. Back when I was seven or eight I asked a nun why people get sick. “So they appreciate life more when they’re healthy,” she said. I kept saying: “I appreciate it. Can I feel better now?” And my job isn’t one that I can totally disengage from. My phone rings anyway because I’m the point man on a lot of accounts in an industry where one moment can change things. Lately I’ve been able to count on my backup, though, so I didn’t have to actually leave on Monday, but... “I’m sure you heard already,” one call began. A man I’ve known for about 20 years was on the job, and not feeling well. His co-workers noticed it and told the man to sit down for a minute and catch his breath. “I’m all right,” the guy said. “I’m not going home.” (It’s a trait that all construction guys have...too tough to show weak...

Sam has been down and out with the flu, and it’s a little scarier this year because people have been really suffering, and in most dramatic of cases, dying. I also swung by a job where I ran into 4 people at once. They’d all been suffering through the illness. I let them in on the fact that I never get sick. My theory is all the hot stuff I eat. Woke up early on Sunday, felt a little congested. “Uh-oh,” Kathy said. “That’s the start.” “I don’t get sick,” I said. “It’s a state of mind.” She laughed. “You have body aches?” I laughed. “My body has ached for 6 years now.” But it felt different. And even though I rolled the meatballs, I was suddenly really tired. “Your State of mind is making you look like crap,” she said. I let Melky in on the plan for the day: “We’re gonna’ sleep.” And state of mind doesn’t get you through it all the time, but days off are impossible too as contractors set their safety days out months in advance. “I don’t feel good,” doesn’t ...

Years ago, my Mom and Dad would get all of their sons a gift certificate for Home Depot for Christmas. Anyone who knows me understands that I don’t belong in Home Depot. I’m not much in the way of handy. So, Mom starting getting me a Barnes & Noble gift card instead... ...and I couldn’t be more excited than the day when I make my visit to stock up. I read books on my phone now and again, but I would much rather hold the book. One of the problems with my visit to the book store though... ...is that I usually outspend the gift card, by a lot... ...and the trip doesn’t take me long. I can find 8-10 books I want to read in less than 10 minutes. I saw a couple that I’d read years and years ago. “In Cold Blood” by Truman Capote and “The Outsiders” by S.E. Hinton. I read the Capote book when I was about 10 years old. I wasn’t supposed to be reading such a book at such a young age, but Mom encouraged my reading for sure. “Don’t repeat the bad words,” she said. “Th...

The other morning I stood outside the car I’d just cleaned off. I was waiting for it to warm up as the dogs sniffed the grass in the side lawn. It was crisp. That’s what I thought. The sun was up, the snow was glistening and for a brief moment I thought: “It’s beautiful.” Then I got cold. “Get in the car!” I instructed the dogs. By the end of the day, ‘beautiful’ wasnt the operative word. My feet were cold. I was tired of all the clothes. There was news of the Olympics starting. The vice-president not clapping for the Notth Koreans entering the hall. Strange that not taking a political stand at a sporting event doesn’t matter now. Whatever. I don’t watch much of the olympics... ...never have. Can’t get into it. I just feel cold when I’m watching people ski down a hill. God didn’t intend for us to put things on our feet and go as fast as we can down a hill. I have a very scary skiing history. As much of an elite athlete as I once was... ...I wasn’t good...

It honestly has had more plot twists than a television show. I had lunch with a couple of buddies yesterday and we were kind of caught up in the news of the day. Think of all that has happened in the first 6 weeks of the year. We had a book called Fire & Fury that was so toxic that the President tried to get it stopped. Most of what we learned is that the presidential work day is short, and a lot of Mickey D’s is being consumed. Then the porn star allegations. A payout of $130,000. The First Lady doesn’t want to look at Donald. They don’t even look at each other and she’s supposedly hot that he humiliated her. The government gets shutdown - part 1. The fight is about immigration. We need a bill with heart turns into “why do we need people from shit-hole countries?” Racist accusations fly around, and eventually the government is up and running after 3 days off. The number 2 guy at the FBI quits. He got off easy. For about a week we heard that the FBI is corrupt...

How many scandals are we up to? To be honest I hadn’t heard of Rob Porter until the other day. He was one of the very fine people who was signed up to MAGA. Turns out, he couldn’t actually pass the background check to receive full clearance because he stands accused of beating his two ex-wives. Those who accepted him into the government knew about it... ...but, much like many other things associated with the past year... ...it was all denied. And John Kelly, the General, the guy who was supposed to be the voice of reason, but has said some very odd things, stood up for Porter: “A fine man of high honor and integrity.” Then the photos of one of the ex-wives showed up... ...ugly black eye. The details of the restraining order also hit the news. And everyone acted horrified! But Kelly knew!! How do you call a man who has two women accusing him of physically beating them down: “A man of high honor and integrity?” Late in the day on Thursday it was stated tha...

I don’t want to drive in the snow anymore. About a month ago, I got caught in whiteout conditions and it truly soured me on ever getting caught out there. On Wednesday I was teaching a class in front of about 50 guys that I’ve known for about 20 years. We have constantly traded barbs. In 2009 I bet one guy, during the summer, that the Yankees would win the World Series. He lost. He came to the training in a dress to pay off the bet. I saw him from the front of the room, and laughed for a long time. So, it’s that kind of group. And they know that I hate winter driving. “There’s a no travel ban,” one of them told me at the first break. He actually had it on his phone. At lunch, I saw that it was snowing. “The Thruway is closed from Rochester to Buffalo,” a different guy told me. I decided to see if the hotel nearby had rooms available in case I needed one. “It’s not bad here,” Kathy texted. I checked the weather on my phone. Six to ten inches with hazard warning...

I was just 12, turning 13 when I saw my team win a championship. Ten minutes after the Yankees beat the Dodgers, I sat with my Dad and ate a huge salami sandwich. I’ve watched the Yankees win 6 more since... ...eaten a similar sandwich every time. Never once thought about climbing a street light, or stealing a police horse, or starting a fire, or eating a slab of manure. What the hell is going on in Philadelphia??? I do recall saying that if the Bills won it all I would run around my neighborhood naked. They didn’t. Maybe the god of decency made sure that the first kick was wide right. Yet, I know my kids would lose it if the Bills somehow snuck one now. You get older, the silly shit goes away. When the Yankees won those titles in ‘98, ‘99 and ‘00 I think I did a fist pump before making my sandwich. ‘09 was special because it was a horrific year of personal loss, and Sam was watching with me... ...the Yankees beat the hapless Phillies. I’ve been to Philly a fe...

First off, I went zero for everything on my squares so everything else is just a distraction. Super Bowls should be solely judged on if you win some cash or not. Congrats to the Eagles. When New England held them to a field goal late in the game it looked as if that would be the big defensive stop, but their D made a play. Who didn’t think Brady was going to drive down the field and win it in the last minute, and why wouldn’t you? He was excellent again. He threw for 505 yards! Here in Buffalo that would take our QB about a month and a half. Of course I took some heat as I have spent time bragging on Brady and Hoodie. Whatever. My good feelings about them is overshadowed by my utter disdain for some parts of football. At one point New England’s receiver, Cooks, was absolutely destroyed by a helmet-to-helmet hit that he didn’t see coming. The announcers said that it was a legal hit because he was a runner instead of a receiver. These men are dying in front of us! I hope ...

Melky has been battling hard lately. Just before we went away to Albuquerque she had an episode and I was so distraught, but she rallied hard, and for the last three weeks she’s been perfectly fine. Cut to Wednesday of this week, a couple of dogs were wandering around the neighborhood. Both Melky and Paris were racing around the backyard. I looked out the window and thought: “Amazing.” On Thursday, as we got out of bed, Melky wasn’t at the door with Paris. “What is Melky doing?” We have a routine. They go out, I drink coffee and we get the paper and I bring them home and go off to work. Doesn’t matter the hour. They go. On Thursday, it was just me and Paris. Friday and Saturday too. Melky was still moving around, eating well, drinking well, her back legs were just not there. I was sad. On Sunday morning I got up and told Melk to hang out and I’d be back after I got Paris settled. I set Paris’ food out and turned around. Melky was standing there. She’d come down ...

Randall Margraves got a chance to confront Larry Nassar at the sentencing hearing for the disgraced, demented, sick, disgusting man who molested hundreds of young girls... ...three of whom were Margraves daughters. They ended up taking Margraves out of the courthouse in handcuffs because after asking the judge for just 5 minutes with Nassar, and then following it up for a request of just one minute alone with the man who was supposed to be taking care of those kids... ...but wound up molesting them. Margraves, sensing that he wasn’t going to be granted with alone time... ...charged at Nassar and the cops intervened. I don’t think Margraves will be charged. And it’s difficult to even consider what Nassar did, and what he was allowed to do at MSU. They were warned! One girl came forward and said that the procedure was actually a sexual attack. The school looked into it and sent a letter to the woman stating that it was a unique medical procedure that Nassar was perfor...

Ray Lewis and Peyton Manning retired after winning Super Bowls. Seemed kind of fishy to me. There are games that end on bad calls, weird plays and rules I’ve never heard before. Games usually are finished off within a point or so of the Las Vegas line set before the game. Billions are bet on the sport and when that much money changes hands. My kids laugh every time I say: “It’s fixed.” (I say that every time a call goes against the team I’m rooting for). Regardless, I’ve had to laugh this week as people who passionately HATE the Patriots have made claims that the refs are in their pockets. “So, the Patriots are cheating and the refs know about it and help them, the league is aware of it and don’t care and all the players who played for them and then left to play for another team are sworn to secrecy.” “They get all the breaks!” “So it’s fixed?” “I don’t think it’s fixed!!” So, what are you saying? Either you think it’s fake or you don’t. Here are the facts: ...

They re-opened the Natalie Wood potential murder case. She fell or was pushed off a boat on November 29, 1981. Her husband, Robert Wagner and actor Christopher Walkin were there. Nobody knows anything. I remember the story when it happened. Wood and Wagner were both big stars. She was only 43 years old, and Wagner was immediately questioned. I think I remember the case because my father, after watching the news report said: “That dirty bastard murdered her.” Well, it’s say to say that he got away with it. Wagner has to be about 80 now. He got to live his life. He still appeared in movies, still was considered a star. How do you live with such a thing on your conscience? I’m not saying that he did it. I don’t know enough about the case after all these years to even take a guess, but there were people on that yacht who knew what happened. Didn’t say a damn word. Yet it’s the conscience thing that gets to me. So many people do and say things and I often wonder if the...

I didn’t watch. After news that the Russian sanctions weren’t going to be imposed, I didn’t have to watch. I know the state of the union. So, I didn’t need to see the speech...which is the worst format of any type of political speech, with the clapping, the ass-kissing, and the reaction speeches. Nah, watch Law & Order repeats with Angie Harmon in them. The night before, after reading the news about the Nunes memo, the Russian sanctions, and the all-out effort to attack the FBI and DOJ, I said: “We’re in trouble here.” My beautiful wife and my adoring children, who don’t much care to pay any mind to anything political, kind of yawned. “Seriously,” I said. “Some really strange things are happening.” And perhaps the state of the union is apathetic and simply takes America for granted. “We’ll be all right,” is the general consensus. “There’s no way that one administration can destroy all that we built.” And perhaps that’s true and there’s a little bit of a chic...