Monday, December 19, 2016


I've always been a good speller.

That's not a boast, but I know some people, some very "smart" people who really struggle with it.

The secret, of course, is a lot of reading. Normally, when you're reading, you'll see a lot of properly spelled words in a row and your brain will pick up on it.

I enjoy reading. It's one of the great loves of my life. It always has been... spelling words correctly went hand-in-hand.

I often tell the story of being in first grade and the nun was telling a story about the language being weird as she explained that words aren't always spelled as they sound. She chose one such word and asked me how to spell it:

"C-O-L-O-N-E-L", I said.

She almost fell out of her chair and the class laughed.

"How do you know that?" She asked.

I didn't tell her that the Kentucky Colonels were an ABA team that had Artis Gilmore at center. I just shrugged.

She told my Mom that I was a genius.

But you don't have to be a genius to write words down properly. You just have to be careful. If you're going to be president and you want to appear bright by using a big word like 'unprecedented' maybe you should look it up so that you don't jot down 'unpresidented' (which isn't a word) and become the laughingstock of the free world...

...especially after claiming that you "know all the best words."

"He was auto-corrected!" His fans were screaming in his defense.

Auto-CORRECT doesn't work that way.

It actually takes words that you misspell and makes them right. When you make up a word that makes no sense at all, it leaves it there if you actually insist on it by typing it 3 or 4 times.

In my mind I actually put a person (that nun maybe) in the auto-correct chair, shaking her head and thinking, "Donald, Donald, Donald...that's stupid!"

Ah well.

Four years of ridiculing the chief.

Wish I could say that it's...


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