Sunday, December 11, 2016

I Blame Ivan Drago

When we were kids the enemy that distracted us the most was the Russians.

We hardly even considered radical Islamist terrorists.

It was billed as Russia versus the United States.

Those fall-out shelters built into our schools?

Those were for the nuclear devastation that would be brought down upon us by our horrible relationship with the Russians.

We were taught to hate them, of course, and the Russian government was a scary threat to our democracy.

We actually beat the Soviet Union in hockey in 1980 and we all rejoiced.

It was more than a hockey game!

We beat the freaking Russians!

And then we met Ivan Drago.

I was actually physically ill when Drago mentioned to Balboa:

"I must break you!"

He had just killed Apollo Creed!

Damn Russians!

But Balboa stunned the world!

His epic speech from the center of the ring told us that we can all get along!

And there was an uneasy peace.

(I still believe it was that speech that brought about stability).

The cold war ended...the region was stabilized...Russia drifted into the background of our fears as we became preoccupied with the damn towel heads!

Yet this is not a history lesson!

Now, Russia was said to have a hand in electing the presidential candidate that they liked better, for their own interests.

(Not because Putin thinks Bigly is brilliant).

Bigly even told the world that he liked the Russian president better than the current United States president.

You know what is weird to me?

Back when I was a kid we were all united when we felt threatened.

We all hated Russia...

...because they threatened us...all of us...conservatives and liberals alike.

We didn't care for the other side of the political aisle back then either...

...but we certainly could all agree on one thing:

Ivan Drago sucked!

So did his big bitch wife!

Now, I'm not so sure.

Some of us are siding with Russia!

Can you believe that???

Now the conservative-liberal fight is so fierce that some people think:

"Eh, Russia probably did have something to do with influencing the election, but my side won, it's okay."

It's not okay!!!!

Doesn't it turn your stomach to think that there might have been an influence?

Doesn't it?

Or were you actually rooting for Balboa to get the shit kicked out of him?

Not me!

Eye of the Tiger, bitches!

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