Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Let's Go Buffalo!!!!

A couple of months back the Buffalo Bills Head Coach Rex Ryan (who introduced Trump when he came to town) declared that he was going to make the Bills great again!

He specifically held a press conference to say that the Bills won the off-season!

There was no trophy presented, but let's recap:

1). They lost Mario Williams - the guy that they paid a hundred million for and sold as a savior. They cut him because they had him dropping back in coverage as a pass rushing defensive end.

2). Their star running back Shady - He was involved in a beat-down of cops that was caught on tape in Philly. He got away with it after visiting the D.A. down there. It was all just a misunderstanding. Except for the dude with the fractured skull.

3). They drafted to help the D - The first guy they picked was sliding down the draft boards because everyone was worried about his bad shoulder. The Bills knew that he was good to go on day one. He was doing jumping jacks and his shoulder blew out. He's on IR.

4). The 2nd Round Guy is Gone too! - They'd battle through the loss of their first pick because their second pick was also good to go as a starter in a fierce defense. He was stretching at training camp and blew out his knee. Out for the year!

5). But IK will step in - They famously picked up the guy who punched Geno Smith in the face and was cut by the Jets (remember the building the bully thing?) Certainly he could bridge the gap and help the D.

NOPE!

He was stepped on in the first exhibition game and was deemed as out for the year.

They cut him.

6). At least They Have Dareus! - The morbidly obese dude who was suspended to start last year, who was busted with synthetic weed, who tried to make a drive-thru to a Chinese Restaurant as he dragged raced a teammate, who received a hundred million dollar deal and swore he was all grown up...is facing a suspension of 4 games for substance abuse!

7). But they have Rex's Brother Now Helping Coach the D - Ah yeah, they are the most undisciplined team ever and they hired a guy who ate through his fat band.

Should be fine.

He knows discipline!

8). But they locked up their franchise QB!!

Except he's mediocre!

Should be a great year.

What is the non-playoff streak up to now?

You can count 2016...

...'cause they might finish 3-13.

But...they won the off-season!

It's the curse of the double-murderer on the wall of honor!

Let's Go Buffalo!!!

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