Sunday, August 21, 2016

I Hate Floods

Donald swung by the Louisiana flood scene with some Play-Doh.

First, does anyone know the reason why you'd bring that?

Secondly, I really feel for those people. They've lost everything and anyone who's ever been even in a bit of a flood knows that it's a losing proposition.

We have a driveway that slopes down.

Obviously it's not a single thing like losing your whole life in a flood, but man, when the water filled the finished basement there was a real sense of panic.

And there wasn't much you could do other than get your crap up and off the floor and try to vacuum up the water and then try to get rid of the stink.

We once had a flood here that was absolutely caused by sheer stupidity and my beautiful wife hates when I tell this story.

I was out of town and missed the heavy rain earlier in the day. When I returned home I noticed a couple of things instantly.

1). Said beautiful wife had trimmed the shrubs out front.

2). The above-mentioned shrub trimmings had not been cleaned up.

3). The trimmings had been washed into the driveway drain.

Since the sun was shining I never even thought about the fact that those trimmings could be a problem.

No one was home so I was fired up about making some pasta and catching some baseball.

One step I into the door I knew there wasn't going to be dinner or the Yankees that night.

We were flooded.

Three inches of water filled the entire downstairs area.

"What happened?"

I tried her cell phone and wondered why the pump hadn't worked. The water wasn't pooled by the front door. The pump had to have failed!

I made my way to the outlet.

The extension cord was still plugged in.

I traced it.

You know what was on the other end of the extension cord?


The hedge trimmer.

"How is she gonna' make this my fault?" I asked the ceiling above.

Minutes later, the door swung open.

I was on the business end of the shop vac.

"What did you do?" Kathy asked.

"That's what I'm wondering," I said.

Guess who cleaned up the water?

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