48 Hours Left

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So there's a group out there saying that the whole shebang is going to go up in flames on Saturday. Evidently there is some sort of proof available for this as the good people will be delivered to heaven while the rest of us are left here to be tortured and in turmoil for something like five months.

So many angles to cover.

First off, what if it's true? Also, pretend for a moment that you know it to be true. What would you do? Would I write one final blog?

I've been thinking about it all day. What would I do? Golf? (It'll probably rain). Just spend time with my family, telling them how much I love them and how much they mean to me?

That would last about six minutes and then the kids would be off to play Call of Duty one last time.

Cook a big meal? Drink until I fall down? Rape, loot and pillage?

I think it would kind of, sort of go the same way that you lived your life. If you are so inclined to rape and pillage then that's what you'll do. If you are prone to staring lovingly at your beautiful wife and loving children then that's probably what you'll do.

You think Judge Judy is on just prior?

And what happens if all the Bible thumpers are pulled into the heavens while the rest of us slobs who missed the cut because we ate a bologna sandwich on a Friday during lent are left to wallow in the Armageddon that is to follow.

I tell you what, I'm not chosen and I'm going to go freaking off. The hell with it.

And if I am chosen to rise into the clouds?

I'll miss the rest of you.

Personally, I just can't see it happening. The baseball season is only 40 games old. We've suffered through months and months of dismal weather.

Not now. We're just around the corner to the light of day. Bin Laden isn't here anymore.

Let us be.

Hopefully there are hundreds of more blogs to follow.

If not...good luck...goodbye and thanks for reading along.

Comments

deafjeff said…
You're Christian so you are going. It's Rapture. Didn't you pay attention in CCD? All the Christians go to get judged, and us heathens stay behind to face the apocalypse. I personally am going to loot some new clubs and all the Heiney lights and Jameson I can consume. I don't think we need tee times either, as the whole fight is supposed to only take 5 months. I'll miss you buddy.
19 May, 2011
Jason (As Seen Everywhere) Nast said…
Oh yeah, and... thanks for all the fish!
20 May, 2011
Matt Snell said…
As if tomorrow EVEN is May 21st. Please, with all the leap years and daylight saving times. Our calendar is WAY off. Who even knows what the correct day or year is...
20 May, 2011
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