In Real Life
A little while ago I wrote a book called In Real Life. It was about a kid, coming to age, who suddenly realized that he'd spent his life shielded from everything, and that when the world came charging at him, it wasn't anything that he could have prepared himself for, because it was all a hoax up to that point.
I was in a decent position to write that one then because I felt that way. Now, I am seeing the shock, awe and disbelief in Matt's eyes.
You see, Matt had a plan. A great, private college where he would dorm and party and watch the Division I basketball team. Hell he probably even dreamed of being asked to walk on to play, great grades, and upon graduation day a waiting limo to whisk him off to a job where all loans would be immediately paid, and in five or six years, he would be a millionaire. The perfect ten blond, hair, blue-eyed cheerleader would agree to marry him, and together they would immediately start their family.
Could happen.
In Candyland.
Through his young life, Matt has not suffered from a lack of supporters. I am one of them, but I also stand back in the wings sometimes, and remind him of the following things:
1). Life sucks. It isn't fair. It doesn't shake out like you want it to. Realizing that is the most important lesson of them all.
2). Want to be successful? It doesn't matter where you go to school, or who you know, or who you...well, you know the rest of that one. It matters that you work hard. That's it. Work hard. Now there are a lot of hardworking people who toil at difficult jobs, but working hard in mind and spirit is important as well. Leads to number 3.
3). Challenge yourself. Change your lot in life by setting goals, working towards the goals, and constantly making the effort to think a few steps ahead. Larry Bird used to practice a certain number of jumpers every day...lets say 150. When asked why so many, he said because he figured other guys were doing a 100 a day. Get a leg up.
4). Being a janitor or a laborer doesn't make you a failure. Flipping burgers is not below your level of skills. In perhaps the most important lesson that children need to know it is important to realize that people aren't waiting for you to emerge from your cocoon to fill the slot of CEO of the world. No one is guaranteed a car, a home, a $200 a month cell phone, the flat screen, all the soda you can drink, and endless hours to play Call of Duty. See #2...work hard. At all sorts of jobs. For all sorts of bosses...guys who are dumber than you. Guys who live life like its a barroom. Guys and gals who don't know the first clue about anything. They will boss you around because somehow or another they put in enough time to become your boss.
5). The future is coming. It doesn't just miraculously come together someday. Life is a work in progress. Certainly, I arrived at the point where I have 3 kids sloughing around the house...a house that is warm, with a pot of sauce on the stove, and a bed to sleep in at oh, around 1 PM for nappy-nap. I have the beautiful wife walking around looking good, making me laugh. I have a couple of dogs along for the ride. My life is now. It's here. I'm living it.
But I also have creaky knees, a constant whirling, "I'm tired" going around on a loop in my brain, I wanna eat less, obsess less, work less, AND GET SOME DOPEY KID INTO COLLEGE WHERE HE CAN CONTINUE ON HIS DREAM TO RULE THE WORLD.
It's a work in progress. The ball keeps spinning.
And nothing seems real.
In the end, you make your own reality.
And then you sort of live with it.
You get used to anything, and sooner or later it becomes your life.
I was in a decent position to write that one then because I felt that way. Now, I am seeing the shock, awe and disbelief in Matt's eyes.
You see, Matt had a plan. A great, private college where he would dorm and party and watch the Division I basketball team. Hell he probably even dreamed of being asked to walk on to play, great grades, and upon graduation day a waiting limo to whisk him off to a job where all loans would be immediately paid, and in five or six years, he would be a millionaire. The perfect ten blond, hair, blue-eyed cheerleader would agree to marry him, and together they would immediately start their family.
Could happen.
In Candyland.
Through his young life, Matt has not suffered from a lack of supporters. I am one of them, but I also stand back in the wings sometimes, and remind him of the following things:
1). Life sucks. It isn't fair. It doesn't shake out like you want it to. Realizing that is the most important lesson of them all.
2). Want to be successful? It doesn't matter where you go to school, or who you know, or who you...well, you know the rest of that one. It matters that you work hard. That's it. Work hard. Now there are a lot of hardworking people who toil at difficult jobs, but working hard in mind and spirit is important as well. Leads to number 3.
3). Challenge yourself. Change your lot in life by setting goals, working towards the goals, and constantly making the effort to think a few steps ahead. Larry Bird used to practice a certain number of jumpers every day...lets say 150. When asked why so many, he said because he figured other guys were doing a 100 a day. Get a leg up.
4). Being a janitor or a laborer doesn't make you a failure. Flipping burgers is not below your level of skills. In perhaps the most important lesson that children need to know it is important to realize that people aren't waiting for you to emerge from your cocoon to fill the slot of CEO of the world. No one is guaranteed a car, a home, a $200 a month cell phone, the flat screen, all the soda you can drink, and endless hours to play Call of Duty. See #2...work hard. At all sorts of jobs. For all sorts of bosses...guys who are dumber than you. Guys who live life like its a barroom. Guys and gals who don't know the first clue about anything. They will boss you around because somehow or another they put in enough time to become your boss.
5). The future is coming. It doesn't just miraculously come together someday. Life is a work in progress. Certainly, I arrived at the point where I have 3 kids sloughing around the house...a house that is warm, with a pot of sauce on the stove, and a bed to sleep in at oh, around 1 PM for nappy-nap. I have the beautiful wife walking around looking good, making me laugh. I have a couple of dogs along for the ride. My life is now. It's here. I'm living it.
But I also have creaky knees, a constant whirling, "I'm tired" going around on a loop in my brain, I wanna eat less, obsess less, work less, AND GET SOME DOPEY KID INTO COLLEGE WHERE HE CAN CONTINUE ON HIS DREAM TO RULE THE WORLD.
It's a work in progress. The ball keeps spinning.
And nothing seems real.
In the end, you make your own reality.
And then you sort of live with it.
You get used to anything, and sooner or later it becomes your life.
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