Path of Consequence

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Listening to Jay Thomas yesterday on Sirius radio I was reminded of the website where one can go to cheat on their spouse, discreetly, for $49. For some reason the thought of it sort of blows me away. There are 4 million members of this club. With roughly 50 million marriages in this country and many more cheating without shelling out $49 - it is a sad commentary on the state of marriage in this country. And the gays want it? As the joke goes, let them share in the misery.

Yet there was a woman caller to the show who said that she started using the service because after health issues her husband was unable to perform in the matter she was accustomed to. She explained that "she wasn't doing anything wrong." She argued that it was a good service that provided the necessary goods to keep her happy in her marriage. One of the hosts asked if her husband knew she was a whore.

And it struck me as odd. I have no doubt that the woman felt justified in her discreet affair. No doubt countless others do too. Jay Thomas asked one caller to explain why he got married when he knew he couldn't stay committed to one person day after day. "What she don't know don't hurt her," the guy said.

I would argue the point that what she don't know hurts you. I suppose that we all struggle to justify our own behavior from time-to-time. But I would argue that our path of consequence is our very own - aside from an unsuspecting spouse, aside from our children, hell - even the dogs don't know when you act like an ass - although they seem to be able to sense it.

Think of that poor husband who has suffered with health issues, completely unaware that his loving, thoughtful wife, is getting some on the side with some strange man who's cheating on his unsuspecting wife. And everyone is walking around justifying it?

Yet it is not for me to judge, right? Live and let live. That is what I try to profess, but it's difficult to ignore. I think it was an old Billy Joel song where he said you can sleep, here and there and everywhere, but that sooner or later you wake up with yourself.

The owner of the website explained that he was out of the loop when it came to the bad behavior - he explained it away by saying that his members were going to cheat anyway - he just provided the vehicle to make it happen. He said that blaming him was akin to blaming the hotel bed for the affair.

Maybe he's right and I'm wrong. Maybe that cheating spouse is entitled to what he or she can get on the side.

Yet the nuns taught me, a long time ago, that we pay for our actions and misdeeds. Hell, maybe they were wrong.

Yet I certainly believe that I have my own path of consequence where I need to live up to expectations that I hold for myself.

It must be real lonely when you find out that the path is no longer beneath your feet.

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