Thoughts of a Common Man

There was a Twitter account called: “Is Henry Kissinger Dead?” It was started years ago. Last night the leader of that account sent out a one-word message: “Yes.” And all the news channels raced to get out their long-ago written obituaries. Kissinger was 100. This wasn’t unexpected. Yet, some of those obits were rewriting history a little. “An impactful, global icon who was more influential than many presidents.” As opposed to others: “The bastard is dead. Adios war criminal! May you rest in piss.” Now, the living of one’s life should lead to kind words being shared after you pass on… …At least that’s the goal. Seems that there were a whole lot of people who are not devastated by the news. Kissinger did some things that some see as murderous. He crafted foreign policies that some contend cost thousands upon thousands of lives. “Excellent news!” One Twitter account tweeted. “Dick Cheney is on the clock!!” I read a lot about Kissinger and perhaps I won’t just pile on here. History will j...

We tried to hustle away from Buffalo this morning. I listened to the news last night: “An inch of snow later in the day.” I was glad that we wouldn’t be battling a storm on the way to the airport. Woke up and looked at Antarctica outside the window. I hustled. Loaded up the car, poured coffee, let Ollie out and said a sad goodbye. Went back to help Kathy. We made it into the car in decent shape and started the trek to the airport. Couldn’t travel more than 40 mph for first 10 miles but pulled into long-term parking right next to the shuttle bus. The driver never budged as I loaded the suitcases and Kathy. Still doing okay. We took off. “My phone!” I had left it plugged in. The driver doubled back. We got to the gate and I went in one lane with two bags and two carry-ons. Kathy negotiated the line one lane over. I made it through first and had my shoes on. Ten minutes to spare. We arrived at the gate and I thought of coffee. Was adding the milk when my phone buzzed. “They’re letting me ...

Yesterday was busy. A lot to do before we have our little vacation, and on Sunday night I tried to schedule Monday with Kathy… …who is a bit leisurely when it comes to schedule-making. Up and out early on Monday and forgot to work on a 2:00 session that I also missed sending an email out on. I was still okay - I could head home and send out the email on the way to somewhere else. “What are you doing?” I asked. “Running Sam to work,” she said. I knew that. “And then?” “Coming home.” “And then?” “I’m going to see where the day takes me?” I laughed. Stepped past. “Where’s this water coming from?” Stepped into a small bathroom at the basement level. I splashed. “Oh boy!” Looked down to see a dangling hose. Now, here’s the thing: I know nothing about fixing anything! I knew enough to shut the water off, and thought about calling a plumber. Then, I looked at the dangling hose.  Maybe I could replace that! I grabbed the thing and went to the hardware store. Stopped in the plumbing aisle a...

Had 4 days off, which promised real rest. I slept horribly each night! Went to bed tired at 11:00 each night and was up by 5:00 every morning. Threw 1,200 passes for Ollie in the muddy conditions and the frozen tundra at Camp Clifford. He caught at least 1,140 of those. Wanted to play more! The Bills coughed up another game - which matters little to me - but it’s all consuming for the community and impossible to ignore - yet everyone complains about the product that is the NFL - bad officiating, confusing rules, players getting maimed, possibly rigged or scripted… …but everyone keeps watching! The Jets-Dolphins game on Black Friday cost Amazon $100 million. It was a horrific sporting event (I didn’t watch but heard the score). It will break a viewing record. I mentioned it to my son, who also wasn’t watching, but was interested in following the game on his phone. “Have to keep an eye on it,” he said. “For fantasy.” Or to bet it. You can bet on every damn thing now. First score, final s...

I saw a Facebook post of Air Supply singing ‘Sweet Dreams’ - a song that came out in 1982. It was our prom song.  I still know all the hokey words. Immediately after, I saw the photo of Dolly Parton in the Dallas Cowboys cheerleader outfit. Then I heard a disco version of the Stones new song, ‘Mess it Up’ (great song). Then finally, I read an article about Hall hitting Oates with a restraining order over the sale of their music. You couldn’t go a half an hour without hearing a Hall & Oates song back in the 80’s. Hit after hit after hit. Their songs were catchy and their videos were kind of painful to watch as they weren’t the greatest actors or dancers, but in a partnership like that I’d assumed that they were thick as thieves. Turns out they didn’t do all that much in the way of being creative. They didn’t hang out much, but knew that they could make hit pop songs together. Like a lot of acts from back then though they took a bit of a beating with their record deal. I’m not su...

Haven’t heard the Mariah Carey Christmas song yet, but the season is definitely underway. I saw a Facebook photo of someone’s Thanksgiving meal (BTW - Turkey, mashed potatoes and stuffing don’t photograph well)… …but there was a tree up already. We don’t even think about putting the tree up until at least December 15 and there’s no way it will see 2024. Am I missing out? I don’t put a single light on the house either. Not even a wreath. Now it’s not that I don’t enjoy Christmas - I do - we just haven’t had a normal one in years. Last year a snowstorm canceled everything. The year before, Kathy was down as she had a hip replaced. In 2020, Covid changed everything. So, perhaps, I don’t want to jinx anything by getting the jump on the next holiday while I’m still digesting the food from this one. I broached the subject of gift for the boys. “They want cash.” Not a whole lot goes into wrapping cash. And our extended family has grown older. There aren’t a lot of kids running around right no...

On Wednesday a car went airborne near the Rainbow Bridge that connects Canada and the United States. Fox News was all over the reporting of the story.  I was working and barely glanced at the coverage, but what I read was that it was a car-filled with explosives driven by terrorists. “Good Lord! That’s 20 miles from here,” I thought. A friend texted to ask me if I was following the story and I repeated what I’d read - unknowingly - off  that right-wing account. “That’s not what I heard,” my friend texted. “God, I pray that’s not true.” I went to a trusted news source and immediately learned that Fox was reporting the exact opposite of what was actually happening. Turns out the two people who died were a couple, in their mid-50’s. They were driving a Bentley. They were not trying to get into the country - they were going to a casino in Canada. There aren’t any more answers than that right now - who knows why the car was traveling at such a high rate of speed.  Terrorism ha...

Got it all started on Wednesday afternoon. My memories of Thanksgiving’s as I grew up had a lot to do with my Mom’s homemade stuffing.  Was always perfect. Mom is no longer the chief chef - she earned her retirement and thankfully, she shared the recipe.  By 8:00 last night I’d tried it. A reasonable facsimile, for sure, and will work well with the gravy. Then I got the brine ready for the turkey, and put it there to marinate. Decided that stuffing a few peppers wouldn’t put me out too much and I ate two of those as well. There’s still plenty to do today to get things ready, but we are laying low and I will have enough food for twenty to feed the four or five of us. As I was strolling around the grocery store I saw the display of celery and there was a can of that spray cheese. I couldn’t resist. We always had that set out before dinner. Got that ready too. Ate a few pieces. There’s a lot to be thankful for. We made it through the year… …not completely healthy… …but still here...

My brother is 60 years old today. It’s a weird thing when he’s the dude you played ball with when you were 3 years old. I can still see flashes from those days. Sixty! Time waits for no one. And we talked about the plans for Thanksgiving. My boys are off today. “A lot of people hit the bars the night before Thanksgiving,” Sam said, as though they invented it. “Really? I never did. I would go straight home after work and see if my Dad needed any help getting things together.” They all laughed. The night before Thanksgiving was always an event. Until I figured out that it’s better to rest up and enjoy the actual holiday. Got old! Happy Birthday to my brother - 60 years since Kennedy was shot.

Time truly flies by when you’re an adult. November 21st already? We got absolutely crushed with snow exactly one year ago. We didn’t clean out the driveway for a full two days. Seems like yesterday, but I got a Facebook reminder of all that damn snow… …and on a day that started with temps in the 20’s, I thought of another year slipping away. And there’s a bit of dread as I consider what next year might bring.  I read a political insider making the claim that next year’s election could be the very last one in a free country. Doesn’t seem possible, but he had a profound statement: A GOP loss will result in a war and that might be the best we can hope for. That is scary stuff. Yet, the trick in living a decent life is trying not to let it tear you apart when you don’t truly have control over much of it. What we once knew was true seems to not matter anymore, and the entire country seems to be on edge. It’s truly left me a little confused. There used to be fundamental truths and the fl...

Over the summer there was an announcement that President Jimmy Carter had entered hospice care. A few weeks later, he went to an event in Georgia. There’s a pretty famous photo of President Carter helping to build homes for the poor - his eye blackened by a fall at his home. He was in his 9th decade! On Saturday, there was news that Rosalynn Carter - the former First Lady and the wife of Jimmy for the last 77 years he also entered hospice. 77 years!! The former First Lady passed away on Sunday afternoon.  What a remarkable life and what a tremendous couple. Know what I saw in between? Yeah.  The turd who is the front runner for the GOP was in front of his rally crowd and he took a break from talking about donuts, windmills and golden showers to make fun of President Carter… …talking about how bad a president Carter was. So damn sickening! The Carter family was never anything but passionate about making America a great place - for all. When Carter was elected he withdrew from h...

As I was on the way to work on Friday I did some quick math. Over the next 18 days… …I’m only working 5 of them. Which will be extremely weird. A 4-day weekend for Thanksgiving and then a quick couple of work days and a week off where we will actually leave town and I may bring my clubs because a buddy will be in the neighborhood. To say that I’m limping into this little break is a huge understatement. I had a 4-hour training session on Friday afternoon, and while I usually get energized by speaking in front of 50 people, I was irritated by the fact they didn’t have any food at a meeting that started at noon! It took me a good 20 minutes to get into the material and despite the fact that I can tell the jokes in all the right spots, I was mailing it in a bit. Which reminded me that it’s time for a break. Construction work is a long, long season. There is always work taking place in the Buffalo area, and while there was a time when things slowed down a little… …the middle of November jus...

My son Jake has been watching the ‘Sopranos’ for the first time. He sent me a message on Thursday letting me know that he was ready to watch the last episode of the first season. “Want to watch it with me?” He asked. Of course, I did. We didn’t stop…. …back on the Sopranos train for the 3rd viewing. It’s an impossible show to turn away from. Gandolfini, Falco, Marchand… …the acting was amazing. The writing was even better. Just television perfection. And like the first two times through I was struck by the phrases and flashes of temper that were ever-present in the generation of men who shared Tony’s timeline. “Why are Italian men like that?” My wife asked. I don’t have anywhere near the temper that my Dad or a couple of my brother’s have…but I’m not ‘Mr. Happy Go Lucky’ either. “We just idle a little higher than other people,” I said. And the food! Tony is always going to the fridge and grabbing a handful of capicolla. The sauce always looks perfect. I got a message from an Italian-Am...

The story about Kevin McCarthy allegedly elbowing the Arkansas Republican Burchett was… …pathetic. They’re in Congress. All the perks that come with their jobs and after the embarrassment of trying to choose a speaker, and they’re elbowing each other in the hallways?  Like 9th graders? What made it even more embarrassing was the reaction of Hannity. He did a spiel on how you can’t even punch anyone in the face anymore because everyone is so ‘woke’ now.  He waxed nostalgic on how he’d get into fistfights while playing hockey or basketball. Idiotic. A hockey fight and elbowing someone in the kidneys at a place of employment are a little different, no? And I’m so tired of the everyone is ‘woke’ whenever there’s a losing argument for what is inexcusable crap. There’s no bottom on anything anymore. It’s all bravado and tough guy garbage and there is never cause to apologize. For anything. They placed a gag order on the guy with 91 felony counts. He appealed and got a stay. Then he ...

What a great tree, right? I get to go to some cool places for work, and my office is the entire outdoors… …which is really great for most of the year, and truly miserable in January and February. I have a contractor doing work at Lake Erie State Park. I’d never been to that park before. It’s in Brocton, New York and, as you can see, there’s a great look at Lake Erie. It was the tree that caught my eye. I once climbed a tree at a girl’s house and then got scared when I was up there, and put on a real scene before being rescued by a buddy. I wasn’t going to try and climb that tree, but I thought about how fun it might be to sit on one of the limbs. It was a bright sunny day here in Western New York and at one point I saw a temperature of sixty degrees. On November 15th! Yet, the weather wasn’t the deal. It was about the fact that I stopped, midway through the job audit, and looked around a little. There’s something about the water, the sun, the horizon, and the small breaking waves that ...

On the day after a Bills game I am greeted differently as I make the rounds - based, of course, on whether they’ve won or lost. There are a whole lot of people around here who have been anticipating a Super Bowl win - especially the last 3 years or so. Hasn’t happened. It’s been a very difficult month for hopes and expectations. Yesterday, the team did what the fans wanted - they fired their offensive coordinator. It didn’t calm the Bills Mafia. And it’s kind of troubling how miserable so many people get about it. “They need to let Allen be Allen. He needs to run wild and go fast.” “He needs to get his childhood girlfriend back.” “He needs to stop making commercials.” “He’s fighting with Diggs. They hate each other now.” And on and on. I ran into a guy hanging drywall - he’d gone to the game (never misses one).  He had figured it all out. “The games are rigged and Vegas controls all of it. A guy like Allen has millions and millions. He doesn’t care. If the season ends early he’ll b...

For my parents Sinatra was their Springsteen. We were exposed to Frank & Dean singing and we also watched all of their movies. Dean was the better actor, but Frank was the voice. And then, Don Rickles showed up with them. Sammy Davis Jr. was also there. Just great entertainers. Well, last night, I was flipping through one of the social media apps and there was Frank, on Johnny Carson. I spent a half an hour watching as Frank sang two songs, and bantered with Johnny. Halfway through, Rickles showed up. Laughter ensued. All three men were about my age at the time of the interview, and I wondered if my Mom and Dad tuned in that night as it was the first time Sinatra appeared on the show in 14 years. Then I felt a pang of heartache because they’re all gone and I couldn’t call Dad to talk about it. Time waits for no one. Not even the legends. Yet, there I was, thoroughly entertained in watching it. I imagine that it will be quite some time before people forget how great Sinatra and Dino...

I distinctly recall the first movie that we were able to order and watch on our television set in the comfort of our home. Was ‘Waterworld’ with Kevin Costner - it was a widely panned movie but I remember liking it. Perhaps because I was on my couch watching it. I was simply amazed! I could watch a movie without having to go to a theater???? And now? I can’t even remember the last movie I saw in a theater. It’s been a long, long time. The weather was brisk. I played ball with Ollie, but I was worn out from a long work week. Didn’t move much. We watched a few movies. There are now a million movies to choose from.  The first one of the weekend was called, ‘Get Wheaties’ and about ten minutes in, I was a little skeptical. The protagonist was really goofy, and the premise was that he went to college with the actress Elizabeth Banks. He told all his friends that he knew her and then he reached out to her - about a thousand times - and got in trouble for stalking. By the end, I was smili...

There are so many unbelievable videos and photos and comedy shows on-line. There are times when I get lost in the phone, watching snippets of this and that on Tik-Tok or reading articles on Twitter or Facebook. There’s so much information out there… …and yet. Was thinking of making a large purchase and picked out the model and agreed on the price. Salesman approached. He was wearing a ‘Make America Great Again’ hat. About an hour later, I watched a reporter interview a woman about the 2024 election. She was dressed head to toe in political gear of her favored candidate including a “He can grab my….arrow down.” The interviewer asked about the GDP, the unemployment rate and other economic indicators. “I don’t believe in your data,” she said. “Where do you GET your information?” The reporter asked. “Straight from his mouth,” she said. “If he says it it’s true. If he doesn’t, it’s a lie.” And I wondered: “How did we get here? Is there a way out?” We watched the 4-part Netflix show with Mar...

We moved the clocks back an hour last weekend, and there was some thought to getting an extra hour of sleep. Someone should’ve informed my cat. Miller had me up early on Sunday, and he’s stuck to his schedule all week. That’s not the biggest problem. I was having lunch this week as the sun was setting. It’s pitch black by 5:30 in the afternoon, and I suppose that it’s always this way in the winter months, but it seems more irritating this year because there’s been so much effort into getting the time change garbage done away with. No one appears to know why we are still doing this. There is a theory that it was for the farmers, or the fishermen or some such crap. Now, the big problem is it is cutting into Ollie’s reps. We had worked out a schedule during the summer months. I return from visiting job sites and before I even go to my office to write reports, Ollie gets 60 passes with the big football. He then settles in beside me as I write reports. A couple of hours later, I toss him 60...

Read that Tracy Chapman won an award for the song ‘Fast Car’ some 35 years after she released it. Someone named Luke Combs re-did the song and also hit number one. I’m happy about it, and have listened to the Combs version, but kind of don’t understand how he made a hit out of it. When Chapman sang it you FELT the pain of a young girl trying to save her Dad, who drinks too much and has given up on life.  The verse where Chapman sings, “Your arm felt nice wrapped my shoulder, and I had a feeling that I  belonged.” Powerful! I’m a big Tracy Chapman fan - I wish she’d put out more music - I have all her songs on my phone. In fact, back in the late 80’s I was in a bar with my brother, John, and I wanted him to hear the record. I played the entire record on the bar jukebox. The bartender unplugged it! “Hey! She’s an awesome writer!” I yelled. “We aren’t listening to the words!” He answered. But I have, for years. For the uninitiated, download: Fast Car Sub city  Baby Can I Hol...

I passed by my old office on Hopkins Street in South Buffalo. I was working for Higgins Erectors & Haulers and while I was a safety officer, I also filled in as a dispatcher. I loved that job because it was unbelievably fast paced and because my apartment was just a couple of miles away. I used to go home at lunch to watch ‘The Flintstones’. I was 26 years old. The regular dispatcher, a friend of mine named Ron, died young and Mr. Higgins called me in to tell me what he thought was bad news. “You’re going to be the interim dispatcher until we can find a new one. The bad news is that Paul will be your partner.” I groaned audibly. Paul was a man who was cranky. He was absolutely brilliant and ran the Rochester operation by himself, but he was short-tempered and different. He had polio as a child and could barely walk. There were 4 steps to our office. It would take Paul about 10 minutes to navigate those 4 steps. On the first day, I announced that I would only refer to him as ‘Crazy ...

“I’m not a patient man.” I uttered that line to the poor woman who was tasked in helping me through an infuriating situation. On Sunday, I got a message out of nowhere that stated that my Face ID did not work anymore because I needed to reset my Apple ID password. I could handle that. Or so, I thought. I put in my old password and got a notification that the password was wrong. Typed it again, and again and again. I called Apple support. So did Kathy. They mentioned that I needed two forms of authentication, and sent a text to “my other I-phone.” “I ONLY HAVE ONE I-PHONE!” At the Apple Store they told me to call Apple Support. Know what Apple Support told me? TO GO TO THE APPLE STORE! I lost it on the poor lady who tried to help me on the phone. “What do I have to do? I’ve given you my phone number, my email, my mother’s maiden name, and the name of every pet I’ve ever had. I’m pushing sixty. Can someone please tell me how to change a freaking password?” The woman was patient… …but she...

George Carlin does a great bit about criminals placing their hand on the Bible and swearing to tell the truth. It always seemed insane to me too. You rape, steal and murder but when you place your hand on the Bible you vow to tell the truth. We always laugh on the Dateline episodes when the interviewer asks the suspect: “Did you murder your wife?” Like the guy is going to say: “I did. You’re the first person who asked me. I cannot tell a lie.” Which brings me to the testifying that went on yesterday. The judge had to admonish the witness to just answer the question and not ramble about how much he hates the judge, the prosecutor and all the people who are stacked against him because it’s a witch hunt. I didn’t expect the truth. Did you? The entire guilt or innocence of it all appears not to be in doubt. Documents were signed. Money was leant under false pretenses. Everyone was involved. Yet, sometimes you tell the truth because the lawyers trick you into it. “Did you sign this?” “Yes.”...

I squeezed one last round of golf on Saturday and while I was dreading swinging with cold hands, it didn’t work out that way. The weather was great! I parred 6 straight holes - not sure I’ve ever done that before and I even got a par on 18. So, if that closes the year - I’m good. (Well, not really, but what can you do?) And we didn’t have a lot planned for Sunday - we got an extra hour of sleep and the football game from Germany was on early. They watched - I put Ollie through his paces. And there’s a lot being planned: 1). A vacation - yeah! We chose some dates! 2). A hot tub - there’s a lot to finalize there but they’re all good with it - if I write the check! 3). We replaced a printer and we also need to replace a dishwasher. It’s crazy to me that Thanksgiving is right around the corner. The Bills played the night game and the boys were all fired up about it. I thought about work and tried piecing together a schedule. It’s going to be dark each night pretty early. Temperatures in th...

Movie night was a real conversation starter. The premise is a place where people show up to see if they’re a love match with their wives, girlfriends, or whoever you are matched with. A bunch of tests are run to see if you’re truly compatible, the most demanding of which: They rip off a fingernail from each and run a test to see how truly deserving you are of being matched. “We should do that,” Kathy said. “No freaking way,” I said. “I want to see if we are a true match.” I laughed. “Don’t you?” She asked. “I have to get a fingernail ripped off?” I asked. “We both do.” “Yeah. That ain’t happening,” I said. “Don’t you want to know?” Kathy asked, laughing as well. “I don’t give a shit,” I said. “No one is ripping off one of my fingernails.” I lost a fingernail once. It certainly isn’t pleasant.  “There isn’t a single thing they could possibly tell me that would be worth the pain of losing a fingernail,” I said. “What if they told us that we are a perfect 100% match for all eternity?”...

It’s kind of funny, but the new Beatles song, ‘Now & Then’ has displaced The Rolling Stones at the top of the charts! Mick had to be thinking: “Are you freaking kidding me?” And I don’t know, but I wasn’t expecting all that much when I heard rumors of the Beatles coming up with a new song.  Lennon had laid down vocals about 45 years ago, and McCartney unearthed them and decided to talk to Ringo about carving out a tune. It worked! I downloaded the song and Lennon’s vocal was crystal clear and it made me instantly sad as I considered all the music that we missed out on. Lennon was a great songwriter, of course, and we were all robbed when he was gunned down. But there was one last song. And the song instantly went to number one and thinking about the Stones - who released a brand new album - as they got the news that the Beatles soared by them… …it’s kind of funny. Yet, thinking about all those guys, and the remarkable lives they lived… …creating music that will be played for a ...

Bobby Knight was a throwback coach.  His style certainly wouldn’t work in this day and age, but there was a time when a coach like Knight was definitely in charge. Knight threw a chair across the court, choked a player as he came off the floor, berated reporters, fans and his own school administrators. I knew a player who went to one of his coaching camps and she was deathly afraid of him - after the camp! Rosemary was an all-star division one player, and she told me about the camp coached by Knight. “He’s a scary man,” she said. Now, I played under some coaches who definitely yelled. My favorite coach ever once told me that if I threw the overhead pass one more time: “I’m going to stuff the Spaulding up your ass!” I laughed. He threw me out of practice. That coach got the most out of our team. Yeah, he yelled to make his point, but we all knew that he cared about us as players and he wanted to win. We would’ve run through a wall for him. I’ve also had plenty of bosses who were scr...

The recent death of Matthew Perry got people thinking about how great he was as Chandler Bing on ‘Friends’. He’s certainly in the conversation of top ten television characters of all-time. Here’s my list. For what it’s worth! 10). Gregory House from ‘House’.  A terrific show and a wonderful character - played great by Hugh Laurie. He was so brilliant. So funny and so sarcastic.  9). Hawkeye Pierce - ‘M*A*S*H - hysterical - especially when he was pranking Frank Burns, or cracking wise with B.J. - he was also well-developed. He was in a war and life and death was at the forefront. 8). Michael Scott - Steve Carrell was the perfect choice and played the hell out of the role in ‘The Office’. When he burns his foot, or drives the car into the lake. He was so sad and so dumb and so like so many suck ups I’ve met in my life. Awesome character. 7). Fonzie - I spent a couple of hours signing books next to Henry Winkler in NYC - he has a reputation as the nicest guy in Hollywood. He is! ...

I think that a whole bunch of people - in and out of the government - need a history lesson. About 250 years ago, we formed a Democracy based on the fact that we didn’t want to be pigeon holed into practicing a religion that was force fed to us by a government. Whole fight was about the freedom to choose. The other day I watched as the new speaker of the house led a prayer on the floor of Congress and then, on an interview explained that ‘The Bible’ is his playbook to govern. He’s all for a national law banning abortion and has made some noise by saying that sex outside of a Christian marriage is criminal and should not be allowed. Gays? Good Lord!  Don’t even bring that up!! His wife couldn’t be there as he was sworn in because she’d spent a few days on her knees, praying for guidance. They may be what we, in the real world, refer to as: ‘Whack jobs’. I grew up surrounded by God - was an altar boy, read the Bible from cover to cover. I could recite the stories verbatim. Never once...