“Let’s Rob A Bank!”

We watched an old 20/20 about a father who robbed banks in the Houston area with his son and daughter.

It was actually a pretty horrible story. The guy was an engineer and was living a successful early life with his wife and two young children, but life got in the way.

Mom got breast cancer and died at the age of 32. Dad tried to raise the kids, but started drinking heavily, and everything fell apart.

Somehow the kids were still with him when they decided to grab some quick cash.

They got busted.

Their story isn’t all that important...

...it’s more about the daydream.

“Can you imagine me trying to rob a bank with Jake and Sam?”

Kathy laughed.

“That wouldn’t go so well.”

I couldn’t think of anything other than yelling:

“Sam! Get over here! Let’s go!!”

You see, my children are lacking a couple of practical skills that might come in handy if we were actually trying to pull off a heist...

...like attention to detail...

...and any sort of attention span whatsoever.

The daydream also brought me back to a time when my buddy Al and I decided to get jobs as security guards.

We were 18 at the time.

Neither of us would’ve been particularly good at security (think Paul Blart).

They put us in a room and asked us to take a written test. We were sitting together going through the quiz when we got to the 4th question:

“Did you ever plan a crime?”

“I could rob the bank in town,” Al said. “I actually have a perfect plan.”

“You’d get caught,” I said. “But tell me.”

“Snowmobile,” Al said. “I’d wait for a huge storm and park the snowmobile behind the bank close to the trail.”

We lived in a small town. I was skeptical.

“Every cop in town would be there in seconds. The police station is across the street.”

“That’s why is blow up the grocery store first,” Al said.

Now, this is where the recall of the story gets clouded because I once wrote about this for one of the books.

We didn’t get the security jobs.

I think I wrote that we never finished the quizzes because they’d been listening to our plan and watching us through the glass.

Not sure that actually happened, but we did have the conversation, and Al certainly drew a map to show me how it could all happen.

We would’ve been caught as well.

I know one thing for sure:

I’m never robbing a bank with a friend or any members of my family.

I’d be like the dude on 20/20...

...in jail.

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